Re-Marrying

[Pursuinghappiness]

I'm 2.5 years into what's probably going to be a 3.5 year divorce.

Despite that fact, I'm considering the possibility of remarrying.

I'm seeking suggestions and/or advice from those who got remarried shortly after their divorce was completed. Specifically, what did you do going into this time that was different from what you did the first time?

Or any other practicalities that one should consider before taking the plunge again?

Thanks for any information.

[cbarker78]

Best wishes PH, and all the happiness that goes with it!!

Myself, I was the one who didn't want to be married in the first place, and will not take that walk again!! I don't need a piece of paper to prove my commitment to someone.....but that's just me!!

I think the second time around - do it the way YOU want to do!! If you want the white dress and full ceremony - do it!! If you want the backyard bbq - do it!!

Don't let anyone else tell you what you can or cannot do.... it's up to you and your SO!!

((hugs))

[Gladtobesingleagain]

I would suggest that you and your new partner really work on communication and how to handle disagreements and fights. How will you handle conflicts?

If you have kids, or if he or she's does, be prepared that there is no instant family!! It takes three years for everyone to mesh and very likely you'll not be anywhere near as significant as kids real mom or dad...

Also really respect and support your new partner in their new role. Respect them in front of your ex and hear their wishes.

Get lots of support....second marriages are just more complicated than firsts. That will probably be a controversial statement but....

[standing on the sidelines]

and make sure it is spelled out exactly what you own etc at the time of marriage and have a prenup. Its like fire insurance, you hope you never have to use it but you are glad to have it in case something happens.

[Pursuinghappiness]

Get lots of support....second marriages are just more complicated than firsts.

I don't think that's controversial...I think its probably generally true.

We have a couple things going for us. We're over 40, we have older children and we have very similar lifestyles.

Very good advice tho.

and make sure it is spelled out exactly what you own etc at the time of marriage and have a prenup. Its like fire insurance, you hope you never have to use it but you are glad to have it in case something happens.

I wasn't planning on a pre-nup. Divorce hasn't turned me completely cynical. I wouldn't get married again unless I completely trusted my partner and was ready to take a leap of faith. I certainly understand anyone wanting one but I think I'd rather stay single than go that route.

I don't need a piece of paper to prove my commitment to someone.....but that's just me!!

I totally understand this statement. I've thought about possibly doing the same thing many times.

[fireweb13]

Follow what your heart tells you, and if your mother is still around listen to her.... I know I should have done that... she hated my ex from the first time they met. Loves my fiancee and they get along great. Your partner is also becoming a family member to your siblings and parents and all that, so its important to have them enjoy your partners company.

[cbarker78]

Follow what your heart tells you, and if your mother is still around listen to her.... I know I should have done that... she hated my ex from the first time they met. Loves my fiancee and they get along great. Your partner is also becoming a family member to your siblings and parents and all that, so its important to have them enjoy your partners company.

ain't that the truth.... same in my situation..... funniest conversation was with my dad when he (and many others it turns out) told me "well it's about time" when they heard of my divorce! LOL!! My boyfriend was my best friend in high school and already gets along well with my family... ((my sister's comment about dating him was also "it's about time!!")) LOL!! But it's such a relief to be able to have boyfriend attend family functions with me and not be stressed about it anymore!