I was talking and venting with a friend of mine yesterday about some of the ongoing struggles I've encountered in the last six months. She doesn't have kids, never separated and evidently could not understand much of the situation.
I turn to you fine members now, as I am at a loss.
Some factors to consider, in August 2016, there was a motion to change our existing order. Prior to this, we agreed and hired a SW and custody assessor privately and who worked with us to determine the best interest of S7. She made multiple recommendations such as father's access reverting to every second weekend (Fri 4pm to Mon 9am) and an additional overnight (Mon 4pm-Tue 9am). Medical and educational decisions to be made by myself and in the case of any prolonged disagreement, final decisions revert to me. So basically having sole custody.
We were ordered to continue the use of OurFamilyWizard as a means of communication.
Child support was upped (100$) to 500$ plus section 7 expenses.
Costs were reserved in our prior case conference. (Ex did not file any financial declarations in court or income taxes for the year prior).
Other items such as ex cannabis use in his home, needs to seek counseling support in light of his emotional reactivity, anger issues, psychologist assessments, so on so forth...
Here's where it gets out of hand...
Communications
Ex, via text message became belligerent in his communications, unable to organize thoughts/phrases, often criticizing, blaming,threatening and this up to about two weeks ago. Ex has adamantly refused to continue using OFW as a communication platform but whenever certain matters required his attention, I needed to notify him by mobile text. The communication from him (and a few from his partner) became so toxic and borderline abusive that I informed him that I wanted to halt all communications via text other than in the event S7 is on route to hospital for emergency medical treatment. I added that I would continue using OFW.
Victory! No more crazy / zodiac style / anger fulled text messages. Welp, not really a victory. Ex hasn't logged into OFW in 3 months. He has no idea about hockey games, march break, out of school exchanges, school issues, health issues, optometrist and doctors appointments.
Some of you may see this as trivial but it's hard to co parent with an "absent" parent. I always take the high road and do my very best to keep any communication clear, to the point,concise and pleasant so why is he not backing off and follow my lead with regards to basic, purposeful communication about S7.
Arghhhhh!
CS and FRO
Ex has been in arrears for a few years (2013). Payments are never made on time, are never the right amount and no payment plans with FRO have been discussed for payments of arrears. I don't ask for section 7 expenses for fear that this will make him explode (as in the past). I assume all costs of medical, dental and extra curricular activities. I've been working with FRO but this has proven very ineffective. They've issued a writ of seizure (he owns nothing other than his equipment from the tattoo shop he owns/operates and his vehicle, a Navigator), garnishment of Gov issued contributions (he hasn't filed taxes and is self employed) and have issued a license suspension notice in Nov but he made a small payment within the prescribed time so the suspension was stayed. FRO informed me last week that they would reach out to him on Friday, no answer, VM was left but never returned. FRO informed me that they would bypass the license suspension notice as of Tuesday but would again place a call to him first. They did, he picked up and stated that he paid a small sum that morning.
Seriously?? He's 3000$ behind, no arrears were paid and he paid 250$ that morning. Interestingly enough, I received the Reserved Cost Submissions and Order from my lawyer that day. He's ordered to pay 14 000$.
Is it just me or is something crazy wrong here?
Have any of you ever been in the same situation? On both points or just one. How did you manage.
No matter the Court Order, I feel there's simply no way to "win" on those points.
I get it, he's bitter and angry, he lost custody and a lot of time with S7, through his own fault, but I deal with all that backlash too and try to offer S7 stability and a happy childhood, yes I agree, I won the lottery there!
Thank you, for the time and space to vent. Comments are appreciated.
Have a splendid day folks!
I turn to you fine members now, as I am at a loss.
Some factors to consider, in August 2016, there was a motion to change our existing order. Prior to this, we agreed and hired a SW and custody assessor privately and who worked with us to determine the best interest of S7. She made multiple recommendations such as father's access reverting to every second weekend (Fri 4pm to Mon 9am) and an additional overnight (Mon 4pm-Tue 9am). Medical and educational decisions to be made by myself and in the case of any prolonged disagreement, final decisions revert to me. So basically having sole custody.
We were ordered to continue the use of OurFamilyWizard as a means of communication.
Child support was upped (100$) to 500$ plus section 7 expenses.
Costs were reserved in our prior case conference. (Ex did not file any financial declarations in court or income taxes for the year prior).
Other items such as ex cannabis use in his home, needs to seek counseling support in light of his emotional reactivity, anger issues, psychologist assessments, so on so forth...
Here's where it gets out of hand...
Communications
Ex, via text message became belligerent in his communications, unable to organize thoughts/phrases, often criticizing, blaming,threatening and this up to about two weeks ago. Ex has adamantly refused to continue using OFW as a communication platform but whenever certain matters required his attention, I needed to notify him by mobile text. The communication from him (and a few from his partner) became so toxic and borderline abusive that I informed him that I wanted to halt all communications via text other than in the event S7 is on route to hospital for emergency medical treatment. I added that I would continue using OFW.
Victory! No more crazy / zodiac style / anger fulled text messages. Welp, not really a victory. Ex hasn't logged into OFW in 3 months. He has no idea about hockey games, march break, out of school exchanges, school issues, health issues, optometrist and doctors appointments.
Some of you may see this as trivial but it's hard to co parent with an "absent" parent. I always take the high road and do my very best to keep any communication clear, to the point,concise and pleasant so why is he not backing off and follow my lead with regards to basic, purposeful communication about S7.
Arghhhhh!
CS and FRO
Ex has been in arrears for a few years (2013). Payments are never made on time, are never the right amount and no payment plans with FRO have been discussed for payments of arrears. I don't ask for section 7 expenses for fear that this will make him explode (as in the past). I assume all costs of medical, dental and extra curricular activities. I've been working with FRO but this has proven very ineffective. They've issued a writ of seizure (he owns nothing other than his equipment from the tattoo shop he owns/operates and his vehicle, a Navigator), garnishment of Gov issued contributions (he hasn't filed taxes and is self employed) and have issued a license suspension notice in Nov but he made a small payment within the prescribed time so the suspension was stayed. FRO informed me last week that they would reach out to him on Friday, no answer, VM was left but never returned. FRO informed me that they would bypass the license suspension notice as of Tuesday but would again place a call to him first. They did, he picked up and stated that he paid a small sum that morning.
Seriously?? He's 3000$ behind, no arrears were paid and he paid 250$ that morning. Interestingly enough, I received the Reserved Cost Submissions and Order from my lawyer that day. He's ordered to pay 14 000$.
Is it just me or is something crazy wrong here?
Have any of you ever been in the same situation? On both points or just one. How did you manage.
No matter the Court Order, I feel there's simply no way to "win" on those points.
I get it, he's bitter and angry, he lost custody and a lot of time with S7, through his own fault, but I deal with all that backlash too and try to offer S7 stability and a happy childhood, yes I agree, I won the lottery there!
Thank you, for the time and space to vent. Comments are appreciated.
Have a splendid day folks!
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