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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 03-08-2021, 05:54 PM
Soiled Soiled is offline
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So the last time I posted anything, my ex was wanting us to see a counsellor together, to the point that she used giving her consent back for our daughter to see her psychologist again as leverage on convincing me to do so.

https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/...ad.php?t=23360

She never did give the consent, and as I was/am severely uninterested in seeing a counsellor with her, that never happened either. It would appear however that her desire for somebody to tell her she is in the right is so strong that she hired a lawyer back in December to take me to court and get "Therapeutic Intervention with Both Parents (post-separation/divorce counselling); or an order directing these parties to engage with a parenting coordinator.

The lawyer apparently served me some time in December, by email, which must have been blocked by the spam filter, as I never found out about it until the day of court, in February, when the duty counsel contacted me a half hour prior to see if I needed any assistance. I of course requested an adjournment as I was blind sided by this, and it was granted, with the next date happening on the 10th of March.

During the Docket Court prior to getting the adjournment, the judge did read the description my ex and her lawyer had down as the issues, which boils down to her saying that we are experiencing difficulties relating to communication, and that apparently for a lengthy period of time I insisted all communication be between her, and my current wife. That's an outright falsehood as I'm not insane and want my ex-wife and current wife to have to deal with each other as little as possible... The judge made note before granting the adjournment that Our Family Wizard would be suitable for us, or that since we each make more than 70k a year we could do mediation.

Aside from just getting the therapeutic value of writing down the ridiculous events I'm going through, I'm wondering if anyone has been through something similar or seen it before?

It seems pretty silly to me that one could think that forcing somebody through the courts to see a counsellor with you will be productive, or accomplish much, other than to pad the bank accounts of a lawyer and possibly a parenting coordinator or mediator. I've spoken to the lawyer on the phone and via email and have informed them I would be more than willing to switch all communications to OFW. He however insists that there are 'significant communication issues' that OFW would not resolve. Other than her arbitrary decisions in regards to our daughter seeing her psychologist however, he is unable to provide any further details than that vague statement. I honestly feel as though he is stringing her along for billable hours.

I've no issue with answering questions on the situation or satisfying peoples curiosity on it as it helps me to straighten everything up in my mind prior to court, and possibly dredge up something I may be overlooking or have forgotten about.

Last edited by Soiled; 03-08-2021 at 06:35 PM.
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Old 03-08-2021, 08:52 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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The court cannot force YOU to engage in any type of counselling with your ex if you don’t want to participate. They can force children into counselling but again if the child does not want to there is no point. Also, a judge cannot force you into arbitration. To say that you can both afford arbitration because each of you makes more than 70k is ludicrous. Arbitration is not cheap. I’m going on 3 years bs med/arb and by the end it will have cost me well over 300,000 never mind the 7 years of litigation prior to arbitration.
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Old 03-08-2021, 11:07 PM
Soiled Soiled is offline
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I've had that conversation in my own mind multiple times over the past few weeks, wondering what is going on in her head, thinking that a forced counseling session(s) would have any real impact/change in the situation.

Tried that years ago with her willingly, and as soon as the counselor didn't take her side and agree with her, they were dismissed as a quack and all advice was ignored.

Personally I'd far rather spend the money on the kids and family rather than lawyers and professionals.
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Old 03-10-2021, 03:13 PM
Soiled Soiled is offline
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Well that was quite amazing. It's one heck of a racket that lawyers have gotten themselves going on with this. 2 hours of sitting around waiting in virtual court, just to schedule... More court! The tens of thousands of dollars I witnessed being sucked up by family law lawyers this morning, for what amounts to basically just scheduling, is disgusting.

EICC scheduled in June, seems crazy to me that it's even being considered, but at least I can take a small bit of joy in knowing that my Ex is paying thousands for this nonsense to her Lawyer, and its not costing me a thing so far.
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Old 03-10-2021, 03:20 PM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soiled View Post
but at least I can take a small bit of joy in knowing that my Ex is paying thousands for this nonsense to her Lawyer, and its not costing me a thing so far.
Its tempting to view it that way, and sorry to hear you are back in court over something that appears to be ridiculous. However, a second way to think about it is that the tens of thousands that got wasted so far on your ex's side, is money that could have been used towards the children.

Family law and court needs an overhaul. Waiting for court dates to arrive, then pay lawyers hours to sit and wait, only to accomplish nothing and have to return 4 months later....
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Old 03-10-2021, 03:55 PM
Soiled Soiled is offline
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I guess I was a bit unclear, by tens of thousands of dollars I was referring to the 15+ lawyers present on this thing, each one likely charging their client a minimum of $300/hr. That's a lot of money taken from families for basic scheduling.


Though just getting to this point may be having her legal fee's approach those figures. Most ironic part I find, is that a month ago I told her Lawyer that while I don't think Therapy or anything else would render much in the way of results for us, I would be okay with attempting it if that's what she really wants to do, but she would have to foot the entire bill herself.


Apparently the higher cost route of litigation is preferable.
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