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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 09-04-2014, 11:17 AM
Soiled Soiled is offline
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Perhaps while trying to keep my opinion and bias against the mother out of things (I swear I really did try!) , I underplayed the reaction of the doctors on her refusal to follow their directions... It was by no means a reaction of "huh, well, that happens, no big deal". The reaction was one of shock that she would disregard them, and outrage. Both doctors i've spoken to about this are quite concerned and have stated that she should be on these meds and needs them.

Expert opinion on this matter, has in my mind, been received. She's under the care of two specialists she was referred to by her family doctor. I've also spoken to and received the opinion of the anesthesiologist mentioned. Not exactly sure what else would constitute an expert opinion. If I were wasting everyones time on a non existant health issue, I highly doubt it would have progressed beyond the family doctor, let alone the expenses involved in two specialists and a surgery.

As questioned by some, no I don't know what the results will be if she is taken off the meds full time, or partially like this. I do intend to find out the next time I am able to see the doctor. As stated however, she likely has, at a minimum Asthma. This has been told to us upfront by the Anethesiologist when he terminated her surgery partway through, as well as the surgeon. As she cannot complete the lung function test, it cannot be confirmed at her age. Arabian already bluntly stated that Asthma can kill, especially when medication for it is refused. Yes, my daughter has been prescribed ventolin, and yes the mother refuses to administer it.

Fortunately I learned last night that the mother will be away again for another couple weeks, which will leave the kids in my custody for a further three straight weeks as of Monday. So while she won't be getting the meds for this week, I'll have a decent period of time to sort things out before she returns, and hopefully have something accomplished, or a concrete plan of action.

At this point I've contacted Child and Family Services Alberta, and am awaiting a response back. Since she won't communicate on the matter and refuses to go and speak with the doctors, I can't see any other options other than perhaps some sort of court action.
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Old 09-04-2014, 02:42 PM
stripes stripes is offline
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Originally Posted by Serene View Post
There is already a medical opinion, the prescribing doctors.

I did not say "essential to the child's health". You did.

OP said that mom won't go to doctors.
Yes, I said "essential to the child's health" because that's the standard this would have to meet in order to justify the OP compelling his ex to give treatments she doesn't agree with on her parenting time. For instance, maybe I have a teenager with acne - I think she should be taking prescription drugs to clear it up but her dad doesn't. This is different from a case where the child is diabetic and one of the parents is a whackjob who doesn't believe in insulin.

I don't know which of these scenarios is closer to the OP's case, which is why I suggested he take the kid (not mom) back to the doctor and get an opinion about whether the child's health will suffer if mom doesn't agree to give her the drugs.
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Old 09-04-2014, 07:45 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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I am from Alberta and have an adult son who suffered from acute asthma when young. Fortunately, after finally finding a good specialist, his asthma was controlled. I have to say that it took a lengthy time for my then-husband and I to understand the whole preventative medication process. Usually they are on two drugs. One drug is taken all of the time to keep their airways receptive to the other drug (my simple, but likely not totally accurate way of explaining it). Your kid has to be closely monitored so they don't have to receive Ventolin or be rushed to the hospital. The way you do this is getting them to blow into a "peak flow" meter. It's a simple tube. When the child blows below a simple point you know when to start administering the other drug. That is the simple explanation. Every child is different but the doctor's STANDARD OF CARE does not deviate.

Some kids need steroids others do not. We were very concerned and our son missed 2 weeks of school in the spring and summer when he was hospitalized. After we learned more about the disease he didn't have to be hospitalized. Allergies or colds seemed to kick things off. Alberta is a pretty dusty province which didn't help, although some people suffer in humid climates such as Ontario. Snow mold (spring thaw and first snowfall) were particularly worrisome times. Every kid has their own thing which can trigger an attack.

Wish you luck. Sucks that you have an uncooperative ex. Maybe ask her how she wants to divide the exhausting hospital emergency room time. Plan on sitting there all night unless you have a good asthma/paediatrician who can expedite your hospital visits. PM me if you need the name of an excellent specialist in Edmonton.
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