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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 05-15-2012, 11:32 PM
raven70 raven70 is offline
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Default Just can't accept the aftermath

My Common Law seperation or divorce has been completed for 1.5 yrs settled at a SC in ONT. It took 6 court dates, 65k spent between two parents of a now 3 yr old child. In addition to the court action in ONT we settled the home division/sale on the court house steps in B.C where the home was located.

It started when I let the mother who has post pardom, visit her extended family in Northern ONT from B.C when our child was weeks old, to get support from her family who are excellent with children and very supportive in gerneral.

We agreed on coucililing to assist us in our relationship and 3 months later collectively bought her a ticket home to return with our child. Instead I was served to appear in court in ONT for jurisdiction. At that 1 hr hearing the justice accepted jurisdiction because our child had resided there the majority of its life.We both had lawyers.Access was not addressed.

At our next hearing months later I was given access finially and ordered to pay 67% ot tabled CS , a reduction for travel costs. Access was a few hours.

At the next hearing i was granted weekly access with overnights for as many times as i can make the trip from B.C to ONT and she was granted temp SS at 60% of table amount because she stayed without my concent, left a job earning 50k, and again very high access costs for me at 1500.00 a trip times 6 trips yearly with all the proof in front of the court.

At the SC she was granted full custody, 60% tabled CS (access costs) and 60% tabled SS with a final order ending after 4 years with no review.

I did my best to maintain the home in B.C but the costs of CS,SS, and travel for access were just too much, so I sold. I did recieve 75% of the equity because of the Common-Law laws in B.C( that differ from other provinces)

I don't feel ONT was the proper venue for custody,access,CS,and SS. We resided together for 6 yrs in B.C, both had good long term jobs here, a home here,and for a ONT justice to decide in 1 hr that my child could remain 7 provinces away for the rest of his life, I have trouble accepting that.

I dont agree with any SS based on the fact that she always supported herself and took off leaving me with high cost of access, she was never a stay at home mom except the 3 weeks before going to "visit family". 3 different ONT justices thought that i should pay SS. She now does not work.

I don't feel a Justice would have let me as the man, pull a stunt like that and be able to say perminantly. I have made the trip 23 times in 3.5 yrs and am committed to my child, I don't feel fairness in my situation.

Just wanted to tell my story, and also wish everyone the best

The Raven
Old 05-16-2012, 08:20 AM
Mess Mess is offline
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Hi. I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you. It's not possible to comment on whether "justice" was served without knowing what arguments you presented in your favour and what evidence you had to support them.

The "justice" was for the child. The possibilities were, full custody and residence with you, full custody and residence with her. The child has extended family in Ontario and the situation had solidified. Forcing the mother back to B.C. away from her family support? The question for the judge was what situation worked out best for the baby.

You have a 40% reduction in support payments due to travel. If she was in B.C. or you were in Ontario, you would be paying that much more in support. Perhaps the cost doesn't work out to the penny, but you are not really paying less either way.

The spousal support sounds ridiculous, she should have been imputed a wage, she is supported by her family I presume, and not working by choice. That said, it is for 4 years, you are almost halfway through.

Move forward. Even if you were saddled with an injustice, you cannot change the past. You take what you have and go on and build something better.
Old 05-16-2012, 09:01 AM
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hadenough hadenough is offline
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I don't "get" the SS allowance either. I do see how the Custody was decided. That is just an awful story. I don't understand WHY she was permitted to travel that far under the guise of a "visit to family" and then simply decided not to return with the Child. That stunt should not have been acceptable to any Court. (?!)
Old 05-16-2012, 11:38 AM
winterwolf7 winterwolf7 is offline
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That really sucks, sorry to hear. Depression is a real life wrecker. It was a big contributor to my marriage breakdown as well.

The good news is that you got a term SS which is fairly rare and it will end in a predictable amount of time. The CS/SS reductions by 40% are great since they should allow you the chance to see your child.

It's an awful situation to be sure, but it sounds like the courts did a reasonable job for the best interests of the child.
Old 05-16-2012, 11:42 AM
Pursuinghappiness Pursuinghappiness is offline
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You have my sympathies...I can't imagine what it would be like to lose frequent access to my children.

Its too bad that you can't find work and move closer to Ontario. It would be good for your daughter and your ex would probably have a coronary.
Old 05-16-2012, 04:30 PM
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wretchedotis wretchedotis is offline
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Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
It would be good for your daughter and your ex would probably have a coronary.
Ha! Made me chuckle
Old 05-16-2012, 04:43 PM
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NBDad NBDad is offline
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Well if nothing else it would fix the custody and support issues eh?
Old 05-16-2012, 05:45 PM
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hadenough hadenough is offline
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That's a BIG MOVE! Would be good, but possibly not feasible. Ya the Ex sure would have kittens! I still can't believe she got away with that (?!) - it's like abduction _ but w/the courts involved!
Old 05-16-2012, 10:21 PM
raven70 raven70 is offline
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i do my best to provide feedback on this site and really appreciate the feedback you all have shared.

Regarding abduction, that was argued but the justice said the fact that i signed a letter permitting travel ommitted that. The justice then apologized and said it would not be convienient for me.

Regarding SS, I thought her income of 50k in B.C should have been imputed, but she was awarded 60% of SS zero income which was 400.00 more monthly.

I am 24 yrs into a 30 year career, making it very difficult to relocate, i have debated that..

Thanks fro the feedback, Raven
Old 05-16-2012, 10:40 PM
Looking4Answers Looking4Answers is offline
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Appeal it, I know that is more money, but that is truly ridiculous considering she worked prior to having the child. Post-partem depression doesn't last a lifetime it will subside. I don't know her reasons for leaving but perhaps she was having emotional issues due to hormones???

That does not constitute you having to pay CS at such high percentages as well as SS.

Maybe you should of had this heard in Superior Court, I just don't get it and it appears all WRONG to me.

It was her decision to move to Ontario with her family, but there is a child involved that should have more contact with her father.

You should relocate and get a job in Ontario to have your daughter in your life and have CS changed and perhaps revisit spousal.
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