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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 05-06-2021, 06:34 AM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davidbaker7 View Post
I think you can seek full custody in the light of your daughter’s wishes. Since your ex wife has disowned your daughter and your daughter now wishes to stay with you, you have a good chance of getting full custody over your daughter.
I wholeheartedly disagree with this advice. As a parent, you should be quite concerned that your daughter wants nothing to do with her mother. Your job is to promote their relationship, not facilitate the rift in their relationship. Personally I would seek counseling for the daughter to help work through her negative emotions towards her mother. Teens have firing hormones and emotions to begin with, it is not unheard of for teens to retaliate or rebel against their parents. It may backfire on you in court to seek to take away custody based on the current views of a teenager. Think bigger picture....wouldn't it be more rewarding to help facilitate the fix in relationship and have your daughter at age 30 thank you when she looks back at her teenage years? Be a parent, not a friend or ally in her current (yet unfortunate) situation.
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  #12  
Old 05-07-2021, 08:42 AM
HappierNow40 HappierNow40 is offline
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I think a few responses have missed the fact that my daughter's mother sent both me and my daughter emails saying that she no longer wants my daughter in her life and does not want to ever see her again, yet she is still interfering in our lives, and demanding that as a parent she still has a right to be consulted on any decisions regarding my daughters upbringing. My daughter wants nothing more to do with her mother, and the feeling is mutual. My daughter has asked that I seek full custody for her so that her step-mother can adopt her and officially become the loving, nurturing mother that she never had.

Yes, trying to repair the relationship between the mother and daughter is ideal but I have attempted this numerous times via various professionals.

At this point, I am simply seeking some advice from a legal point of view what the chances of full custody are before I pay my $450/hr lawyer to start the court documents.

Last edited by HappierNow40; 05-07-2021 at 08:44 AM. Reason: grammer
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  #13  
Old 05-07-2021, 01:54 PM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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Originally Posted by HappierNow40 View Post
At this point, I am simply seeking some advice from a legal point of view what the chances of full custody are before I pay my $450/hr lawyer to start the court documents.
Fair enough, us non-lawyers who are nonetheless quite experienced based on our own individual legal battles are advising you for free that seeking sole custody is not the best idea. But what do the people on this forum know?

FYI, if you approach a lawyer, he/she will most likely take your money and advise to apply with the court regardless. Most lawyers love conflict and sniff it like sharks smell blood in water. Afterall, there's money to be easily made!!
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  #14  
Old 05-07-2021, 02:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brampton33 View Post
Fair enough, us non-lawyers who are nonetheless quite experienced based on our own individual legal battles are advising you for free that seeking sole custody is not the best idea. But what do the people on this forum know?

FYI, if you approach a lawyer, he/she will most likely take your money and advise to apply with the court regardless. Most lawyers love conflict and sniff it like sharks smell blood in water. Afterall, there's money to be easily made!!

I think OP was hoping by having full custody he wont have to interact with mom anymore. Sadly mom would still have to be advised of what is going on even if you have full custody.
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  #15  
Old 05-07-2021, 08:18 PM
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Is your daughter requesting her step mother adopt her?
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  #16  
Old 05-09-2021, 08:29 PM
HappierNow40 HappierNow40 is offline
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Originally Posted by Alpinist View Post
Is your daughter requesting her step mother adopt her?
Yes, my daughter wishes for her step-mom to adopt her in addition to removing her biological mother from her life.
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  #17  
Old 05-10-2021, 08:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HappierNow40 View Post
I think a few responses have missed the fact that my daughter's mother sent both me and my daughter emails saying that she no longer wants my daughter in her life and does not want to ever see her again, yet she is still interfering in our lives, and demanding that as a parent she still has a right to be consulted on any decisions regarding my daughters upbringing.
I think we all understood that. If the mother consented to you having sole custody, then you would absolutely get it. However, the mother is clearly interested in maintaining custody, she is just not interested in parenting time.

Based on what you have laid out, the courts are unlikely to award you sole custody in a contested hearing.

Quote:
At this point, I am simply seeking some advice from a legal point of view what the chances of full custody are before I pay my $450/hr lawyer to start the court documents.
Almost zero. You would have to demonstrate that joint custody is causing harm to your child.

Some things that are NOT harm:

1) You find mother annoying
2) Your child finds mother annoying
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  #18  
Old 05-10-2021, 08:34 AM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Almost zero. You would have to demonstrate that joint custody is causing harm to your child.
Some people put an over-emphasis on what having "sole custody" means, treating it in a possessive nature, rather than what it really means.

Sole custody means that you solely make decisions with respect to child's religion, education and medical decisions. It also gives you added leverage should you wish to relocate. That's it. It has nothing to do with parenting time. Zilch.

Religion is usually determined in the early onsets of a child's life. So that leaves education and medical. So for the few and far in between circumstances, parents must consult with one another and make decisions jointly in these 2 areas. If parents disagree, they can seek mediation or other dispute resolution (for example through a parenting coordinator) to reach consensus on the disagreement.

People put far too much emphasis on fighting for sole custody. Unless one parent lives 1000km away and/or both parents cannot communicate whatsoever (ie restraining order) then joint custody is typically the norm.
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  #19  
Old 05-10-2021, 11:00 AM
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Um... All these words are great and all but...

Child is >14.

Child can doctor and remove consent from one or both parents to make inquiries about their health and well being. As well, they can do this with the school but, it takes a little bit of understanding that they have the legal right to do this with the school. Medical professionals are VERY aware of this. In fact, "age" doesn't matter for most of this and is up to the professional to determine if the "child" has the mental capacity to make this determination.

So, really what does "sole custody" mean after the age of 14. NOTHING. Cops can't enforce residential agreements. Why bother with legal "stuff" when the kid can simply do it themselves.

Ugh... After 14 its not worth going to court over.
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  #20  
Old 05-10-2021, 12:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Um... All these words are great and all but...

Child is >14.

Child can doctor and remove consent from one or both parents to make inquiries about their health and well being. As well, they can do this with the school but, it takes a little bit of understanding that they have the legal right to do this with the school. Medical professionals are VERY aware of this. In fact, "age" doesn't matter for most of this and is up to the professional to determine if the "child" has the mental capacity to make this determination.

So, really what does "sole custody" mean after the age of 14. NOTHING. Cops can't enforce residential agreements. Why bother with legal "stuff" when the kid can simply do it themselves.

Ugh... After 14 its not worth going to court over.

This

But I think it also has to do with getting the mother to stop harassing the professionals and embarrassing the child. No custody arrangement does that.


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