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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 05-17-2013, 05:14 PM
Links17 Links17 is offline
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I read something on it since I sgned my actual legal marriage document under pressure from my Ex a year so in my marriage. The gist of it is the following:
-Generally, you are dreaming
-If one person wants it and the other doesn't then also tough
-Don't use it to escape responsibilities (CS + SS)
-Even substantial errors/failures in the procedures won't invalidate the marriage
-Doing the Deed is part of sealing the agreement....

Just a summary of the points I read over, don't count on it for reliability - I was skimming.
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  #12  
Old 05-17-2013, 05:46 PM
rdm35 rdm35 is offline
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We did the deed one time... Guess we can't get an annullment. A psychologist did diagnose me with some disorders that could help to show how much anxiety I have. I did buy the ring and sit on it for a year because I was really not sure if it was what I wanted.
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  #13  
Old 05-17-2013, 06:01 PM
SadAndTired SadAndTired is offline
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What a sweet idea! Everyone can back date their separation to the date of marriage and effectively eliminate SS altogether.
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  #14  
Old 05-17-2013, 06:05 PM
SadAndTired SadAndTired is offline
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Did you live common law before getting married? Any children?
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  #15  
Old 05-17-2013, 06:31 PM
caranna caranna is offline
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Annulment - CanadianDivorceLaws.com
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  #16  
Old 05-17-2013, 06:39 PM
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If both agree on what date to use as the start of their separation I don't see a problem.
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  #17  
Old 05-17-2013, 08:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caranna View Post
Thanks Carana - information is to-the-point
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  #18  
Old 05-17-2013, 08:38 PM
rdm35 rdm35 is offline
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I moved in with my then gf in 2010. We got engaged and married in sept 2012.
I guess we were living common law for maybe 9 months (become common law after 2 years of cohabitation)
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Old 05-17-2013, 08:41 PM
SadAndTired SadAndTired is offline
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Hmmm, did you file joint taxes in 2010? 2011? The reason I ask is that, I believe, it makes your relationship longer for the purpose of divorce/spousal support.
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  #20  
Old 05-17-2013, 09:03 PM
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Here's a good way to think of the timeline.

A - get married
B - get separated
C - get divorced

There must be a year between B and C dates. A is irrelevant (except that B cannot precede A, of course).

You should get a separation agreement as soon after B date as possible. This can happen quickly or slowly, depending on how complicated your situation is, if you have children or not, and how amicable/cooperative you and your ex are, etc. In most cases, especially if court becomes involved, it can drag on for years. Since judges like to see a separation agreement that closes everything off before they will grant a divorce, it's not hard to meet that year.

Identifying the B date is sometimes the tricky part, as there can be a lot of nebulosity. Here are some things to consider to help pin it down.

When did you decide the marriage wasn't working?
When did you decide that separation was the only solution?
When did you stop being intimate?
When did you start sleeping in separate rooms?
When did you stop publicly presenting yourselves as spouses to other people?
When did you have 'the talk?'
When did one of you move out?
When did you close joint accounts?
When did you change beneficiaries on policies?
Can you and she agree on a particular date to operate from?

As for annulment, I don't know anything about it, but in this era of common-law relationships and pre-marital sex, I'm personally surprised that one instance of post-marital sex completely slams the door on annulment of a marriage that was so brief and obviously ill-fated. Don't just take our word for its impossibility; do some proper research and/or get a lawyer to look into it.

For a separation agreement, you need to cover two categories (if there were children, there would be more).

Equalization - who gets what of the debts and assets. Generally, you come up with a financial statement that lists your assets and debts at date of marriage, and your assets and debts at date of separation, and subtracts to determine your net financial gain over the course of the marriage. Your ex does the same. Then the person with the highest gain will owe the other half the difference so they end up with the same net gain. This is usually done by arranging the division of the assets and debts appropriately, or payment of a lump sum of cash. The matrimonial home (and accompanying mortgage) is nearly always divided equally, no matter whose name it is in or who started with it. For such a short marriage, this might be able to be handled differently (I think you had another thread on it?).

Spousal Support - if one spouse made career sacrifices over the course of the marriage or is unemployable as a result of the marriage, the employed spouse may have to continue to support them for a time. For such a short marriage, your or your ex would likely have a very hard time justifying any spousal support.

Your focus right now should not be on the timing of your divorce, it should be on getting that separation agreement. Once you have that, either a year will have gone by anyway, or you can time your application for divorce a few months before the year is up so that it has elapsed by the time a judge sees it. You don't have to wait a year before applying, it just takes effect on the C date.

Last edited by Rioe; 05-17-2013 at 09:05 PM.
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