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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21  
Old 03-27-2013, 01:31 PM
lostgirl lostgirl is offline
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I would argue that she has a great case to present to the judge if it gets that far. Taking care of a special needs child is not only challenging but also costs a twice the amount. (I am a mom of an autisitic child). Look into costs for an after school program or daycare as soon as you say autistic the money actually doubles if not triples. Not to mention school does not stand for tanturums or accidents with the potty. If she has to be on call for all those things she will lose her job inside of a month. All judges are aware of the cost of autism. I would argue she has a great case!
  #22  
Old 03-27-2013, 02:21 PM
FightingForFamily FightingForFamily is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lostgirl View Post
I would argue that she has a great case to present to the judge if it gets that far. Taking care of a special needs child is not only challenging but also costs a twice the amount. (I am a mom of an autisitic child). Look into costs for an after school program or daycare as soon as you say autistic the money actually doubles if not triples. Not to mention school does not stand for tanturums or accidents with the potty. If she has to be on call for all those things she will lose her job inside of a month. All judges are aware of the cost of autism. I would argue she has a great case!
Case law? Evidence?

I've read quite a bit and done what I can to understand how the courts handles cases involving special needs kids, especially autistic ones. They get some sympathy but they generally do not get special treatment by the courts. Family law understands that there is a large umbrella of support out there for parents with autistic kids and does not usually put additional burdens on the non-custodial parents.

Her asking for daycare costs to look after him after school is the same as me charging her an hourly rate when I take him for the weekend to give her "respite care" if I choose to call my parenting time that lol.

Or.. for my parenting time, I am losing out on the opportunity to go out and get a second job. Instead I am "looking after him". I think she should pay me the lost income I could have earned by working a part-time job on my weekends. /sarcasm
  #23  
Old 03-27-2013, 06:53 PM
Mess Mess is offline
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Lostgirl, in the case you cite, the child did not have autism, the child had Down's syndrome, which is a far more extreme situation.
  #24  
Old 03-27-2013, 07:31 PM
mom2three mom2three is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
Lostgirl, in the case you cite, the child did not have autism, the child had Down's syndrome, which is a far more extreme situation.
Am I missing something here? I can't find a case thats been cited.
  #25  
Old 03-27-2013, 07:31 PM
Motorizer Motorizer is offline
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Tell her you'll make alternative arrangements for care on your time, and will expect her portion of Section 7 expenses.
  #26  
Old 03-27-2013, 08:26 PM
Mess Mess is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2three View Post
Am I missing something here? I can't find a case thats been cited.
.................................................. ...............

Quote:
Originally Posted by lostgirl View Post
In Dickson v. Dickson1987 CanLII 158 (BC CA), (1987), 11 R.F.L. (3d) 337 (B.C.C.A.) one child of the marriage had Autism, was severely handicapped and required constant care and supervision. The wife had stayed at home to look after him. The B.C. Court of Appeal espoused the view that the maintenance of a child is so inextricably bound up in the well-being of the nurturing parent that the amount of spousal maintenance may affect the best interests of the child, even where there is separate maintenance for the child, adding:

[...]That very view is given the most normative endorsement possible by being incorporated in para. 17(7)(b) of theDivorce Act. That enactment provides that every order varying spousal maintenance should take into account the financial consequences arising from the care of a child, over and above the financial consequences recognized in any child maintenance order covering the same child. The provision of some respite for Mrs. Dickson from the constant care of XXX provides an example of financial consequences to a spouse of caring for a child, over andabove the direct costs attributable to the child
  #27  
Old 03-28-2013, 08:41 AM
FightingForFamily FightingForFamily is offline
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We are very lucky in that our son is not as seriously affected as the poor child in that case.

He is "high functioning", never stops talking, drawing, playing. He has a super fertile imagination and a silly sense of humour. But he has autism, so he is very reliant on routines, needs extra time to transition between activities and has difficulty communicating his feelings and experiences. He's been in the normal class room for 2 years and it's been going pretty well. Academically he is quite smart, but he has a hard time with following directions and doing anything other than what he wants to do.
  #28  
Old 03-28-2013, 11:37 AM
good_mom good_mom is offline
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Focus on him and what is best for him.

Don't pay for care on her time because it is parenting time....but do realize that no childcare provider will give you free care. Who better to care for him then a parent.

For your days only, Pay her based on section 7 and get reciepts.

If she says no then look for a care provider during your time...make sure you can find one first, then send her an e-mail about it with a start date for care and what her cost will be. This gives her 2 options and only these options to choose from.

Did she say what she would do if your refuse? If she said take you to court let her. Just make sure you give her the options and go from there.

One thing for sure is arguing over this is not doing any of you any good!

Some people look at children as a cash grab and that is just wrong!
  #29  
Old 03-28-2013, 03:44 PM
FightingForFamily FightingForFamily is offline
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I only have Wed for dinner and EOW, so there aren't any of "my days" where she is looking after him for me while I work. I pay full table child support.

Mon-Fri during the day he will be in school and after school is her parenting time... ergo there's very little legal ground for more money.
  #30  
Old 04-02-2013, 09:10 AM
good_mom good_mom is offline
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I see you point now.....no she should not get a dime for this. Tell her she is saving money because if he was in external care, she would have to pay her share of sect 7 and then she would be getting less.

Like I said some people use their kids as a cash grab!

Good luck to you!
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