STBX now messing with my D17's RESP's

[plainNamedDad44]

Hi community,

My D17 (almost 18) has worked very hard and gotten into a very good nursing program close enough to home which means she can continue living at home with me. We (me, S16,S15,D13) are all ecstatic. The cost savings could be used to buy D17 a car and pay for a masters.

STBX is insisting she move out and stay in residence, so much so she is threatening to refuse consent to releasing funds from D17's RESP. Absolutely ridiculous.


Questions: I am assuming I can motion to stop this nonsense ? Does D17 (almost 18) have to get involved ? Any case law that anyone is aware of ?

[sahibjee]

you can do a cost benefit analysis to see if moving her out for couple of months until the child turns 18 and takes control of her RESP would cost more or a motion (which will also take time) once the daugther has control of her RESP and her life the STBX can't stop her from moving back in with you as your daugther is now an adult and no longer subject to the whims and wishes of the crazy.

[denbigh]

I dont think the child ever takes control of the RESP. I had asked my bank that once and they said the kid doesnt take the money out, the parents take the money out. I had asked because I wondered if one child was an adult if they could just empty the whole thing and waste the money. It really isnt up to you or your ex. It is up to the child to decide what they want to do. if they want to live in residence, when they could live at home, then wouldnt they need to come up with a way to pay for that themselves? I think what wouldha[en, is if your child wants to live in your home, and then the ex actually refuses to release money from the RESP, then you would have to go to court to get it out? I am not sure. It may just be a threat though, I would just let your child do as she planned, and not worry about that unless it actually happens. I thought that the courts only made parents pay for residence or other out of the parent home living expenses, if the school ws actually too far away, but I am not sure if that is true, jsut the impression I got from reading on here. Is residence really so expenseive that 4 years of residence is equivalent to a car and a masters degree? Dont forget to consider parking. parking can be a nightmare at some universities, with lottery systems to get a spot, and expensive.

[rockscan]

I would ask the bank about it. Depending on the account and the court action, you may be able to have your child get the funds. If you’re still in litigation I would see about having the ex removed from the account.

As for residence, she can insist all she wants. The threat to withhold consent is empty since she is punished as well by losing the resp from the expense. You have until April 30 of the school year to withdraw the funds.

Let your kid do what she needs to save money. CS is payable while she is living at home. Think twice about the car though if public transit is available and included in her student fees. Cars are arguable whereas public transit is less costly and always ordered.

[Berner_Faith]

The one who contributes to the resp is technically the owner of the funds. The only portion that the child would possibly be owner of would be the grants from the government. I worked for an investor and even if the kids were 25 the parent who opened and invested the money was the only one who could withdraw the money for school. If you ex doesn’t release the funds that’s just more she has to pay herself. Call her bluff


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[denbigh]

Correct me if I am wrong, but if you have RESPs that have both your name on it prior to separation, then is that money that is part of the child's 1/3 contribution, or part of both of the parents contribution. Is money put into a new resp after separation by a 1 parent or the other is considered that 1 parents contribution towards that parents 1/3rd?

[rockscan]

If you have a JOINT RESP you opened while married, regardless of who put the money in, its a JOINT asset. Much like the house and savings accounts. Unless your agreement says differently, in that case the money goes to the parents portion. ALL OF THE MONEY.

If you open an RESP AFTER you divorce all of that money is yours.

The grant portion means nothing other than being taxable to the child. Its still the parents money. This was legal advice for my partner on his personal resp he bought after he divorced. The grant is taxable to the kid so its best to apply it the years they are not full time employed as it wont impact their taxes greatly.

[plainNamedDad44]

thanks all for the responses. I am going to call her bluff. and let the courts deal with it.

The way I see it, It only helps emphasize how unreasonable (putting it politely here) STBX is.

In the meantime, I will have to pay out of pocket all of D17's school expenses.

[rockscan]

Definitely get her to apply for OSAP and hopefully she is working. Plus get a credit card with points and put all of it on there. Then you benefit from the points too!!

[Gilligan]

I think this has more to do with trying to avoid CS while the child is in school as opposed to be paying CS while she is living at home. It's sad, but this seems to be more about the Parent's best interest as opposed to the child.

I would try to shield the child as much as possible, but it's difficult to do when the other person is actively involving them. I would encourage you to let your child make this decision without pressure from either side.

I'm really not sure about the car, not sure how that will play out.


Good luck

[Lolita123]

thanks all for the responses. I am going to call her bluff. and let the courts deal with it.

The way I see it, It only helps emphasize how unreasonable (putting it politely here) STBX is.

In the meantime, I will have to pay out of pocket all of D17's school expenses.

***You should contact your Financial Institution to see if both subscribers' signatures are required for an Educational Assistance Payment (which is the payment of grant and earnings to the beneficiary). Sometimes, only the signature of one subscriber is required but that would be up to the bank and the contract that you signed with them.