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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 03-02-2019, 06:07 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Your lawyer is good and will deal with this. As far as our legal advice was (going back to 2013) that you update immediately when it goes up or down. We tried that but the ex disagreed when it went down. Ditto for your ex when his income goes up. Plus you can make an argument for the section 7. You didnt update but accepted less s7. That can go into an offer to settle.

I would also request a letter from his employer outlining what his current income is. Plus a reason why it suddenly changed.

The problem will be going forward that he doesnít want to update when it increases. Then you have to go back to court.

His lawyer is a bully and hes demonstrating bullying tactics. Ignore them. Your lawyer is smarter and much more capable.
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  #12  
Old 03-02-2019, 06:08 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tilt View Post
It sounds like you have a good handle on your case. Lower your expectation that he will be honourable or honest though, if he was a great guy you would still be married to him, lol.


Very good point. Lol


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  #13  
Old 03-02-2019, 06:19 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Your lawyer is good and will deal with this. As far as our legal advice was (going back to 2013) that you update immediately when it goes up or down. We tried that but the ex disagreed when it went down. Ditto for your ex when his income goes up. Plus you can make an argument for the section 7. You didnt update but accepted less s7. That can go into an offer to settle.

I would also request a letter from his employer outlining what his current income is. Plus a reason why it suddenly changed.

The problem will be going forward that he doesnít want to update when it increases. Then you have to go back to court.

His lawyer is a bully and hes demonstrating bullying tactics. Ignore them. Your lawyer is smarter and much more capable.


Except he told me that there isn t much we can do about his income going down... and that like what you said I will have to go through that gov agency each year to see if he will update me through that. And I said ya he just wonít agree to do it. And then I am back to court.

What pisses me off is that I have to take all sorts of time off work for the kids appointments. School functions and therapy appointments. Sports and so on. He is notified of all. Doesnít show up and then I have to do all of it and make up the time at work so I get paid the same because I canít afford to get paid less... perhaps that can by my sob story to the judge at settlement conference when I get to speak.

Thinking about it now... ex took off a week to move... a week for March break... two weeks in the summer. And he only entitled to two week vacation... so prob another 4 days here and there due to doing stuff with gf and her kids. He sure doesnít take his own kids Extra to anything special. Rant over.


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  #14  
Old 03-04-2019, 12:36 PM
Gilligan Gilligan is offline
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I think you are unfortunately stuck with this situation, you can't make him parent and act in the kids best interests. His income is taken at face value, he might even be taking the time as "unpaid leave" but you can't prove it and have to adjust support based on it.


I'm in a similar situation, I pay a lot of support because my ex doesn't work and I pay for 100% of expenses because she won't pay. I've gotten a little more selective, but my options are to let child go without or just pay for it. There isn't much recourse.


Sorry for this situation, but you are often best to try to focus on child and accept that it's not fair. At least, this is what I've had to do.
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  #15  
Old 03-04-2019, 01:03 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is online now
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Yep... Iím starting to think there isnít much I can do. Except we have an agreement filed with courts. So he should be upheld to pay arrears based on what he agreed to right?


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  #16  
Old 03-04-2019, 01:12 PM
Gilligan Gilligan is offline
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Work with FRO for CS and S7. I wouldn't expect much from you ex.
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  #17  
Old 03-04-2019, 01:15 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilligan View Post
Work with FRO for CS and S7. I wouldn't expect much from you ex.


So fro is collecting the child support. They wonít collect S7 because agreement didnít give percentages. Which is why I started the motion to change. So we are trying to enforce the agreement and get it more clear so fro can enforce in the future.


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  #18  
Old 03-04-2019, 01:19 PM
Gilligan Gilligan is offline
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It can get weird with S7 in my experience (I'm the payor). But often the payor needs to provide "consent". In my case, even though my ex is the recipient she simply ignores my requests to share expenses (section 7 or otherwise) and refuses to provide items for the child.


These include school trips, lunches, shoes, tutoring, extra-curricular activities.


I was shocked that when this was mentioned at the motion, the judge simply said it was "reasonable" for mom not to pay for tutoring, but held me accountable because ex terminated child care, and retained one just for herself, but I was stuck paying for it and she got the tax relief. WTF?
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  #19  
Old 03-04-2019, 01:47 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Gilligan, your case sounds super strange.

From what my man was told, s7 was debatable at different incomes but school and medical were a given. The rest would be open for negotiation and a reasonable approach. He was presented with expenses that were $50-100 each (not s7) when his ex did not ask or advise and he was provided no further info. Lawyer said none of it was s7. In her filing, the ex claimed he paid less than $1000 in five years ignoring the fact that she gave no info and most of the expenses were not considered s7. The judge blasted her. Fortunately the judge was an experienced and knowledgeable one.

From what Iíve read online and from what the lawyer said, s7 is completely grey and open to interpretation unless it is school or health. In mom2twos case, her expenses are completely medical and school related and her ex is pulling a ďi didnt agreeĒ defense. He also has bad legal advice. Im hoping the judge also points out the money he is wasting on his piss poor legal advice.

The bigger problem is FRO. If the government isnt going to improve it then the courts need to set clear guidelines in agreements. Annual expenses will total x dollars and the parties agree to update after an annual reconciliation. Or they set up a DRO aspect where the parties meet with an expert and update an order each year. Thereís no solution right now that stops this bs. Parties end up spending thousands to recover hundreds. In most cases it is a reasonable expense like glasses or dental care!
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  #20  
Old 03-04-2019, 02:02 PM
Gilligan Gilligan is offline
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Rockscan,


I completely agree that reform is required and that things need to be clearer. For example, when do you re-calculate CS? In my case, it wasn't stipulated and my ex wanted to back date it. One shouldn't have to go to court to figure this out and it shouldn't be that debatable at a "Cost Indemnity Basis"? Many people pay CS and putting some clarity would go a long way in avoiding conflict.

Same applies to S7 costs. I agree that education / medical are a given but I a parent shouldn't be able to say "they can't pay" and get away with it. In my case, Mom stopped paying for a tutor with a child requiring it on an IEP, how can a judge say it's reasonable to let the child go without?


I know I'm on a soap box here, but I am frustrated by the lack of clarity, the exorbitant legal fees that the lack of fairness. Some clearer guidelines would go a long way in avoiding litigation for many.
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