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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21  
Old 11-22-2018, 04:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
I agree that if Dad asks- give it to him. But in terms of reminders, etc...it's too much.
I agree. If Dad asks for something trivial and you say "get it yourself" instead of just taking a picture and sending it, that's being difficult.

However, Mom has no obligation to provide reminders, morally or legally. Dad is not a child.
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  #22  
Old 11-22-2018, 04:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
It depends on what the document is...if it's something Dad can get because he's authorized to speak to the school administrators- then it is. [over-functioning]
Except that they have an agreement that she would send all the school into herself, as part of her sole custody duties. It's trivial but continuously being used against her. Take the emotions out of it and just send everything. Not only is it what they agreed to, but it totally debunks his case.

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I agree that if Dad asks- give it to him. But in terms of reminders, etc...it's too much. Dad wants her to engage with him.
I agree and it's totally bs... but it's being used against her with custody at stake. You don't have to remind or anything, just send the info as it comes.

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And if the OCL is involved it's because they recognize it's likely a high conflict relationship between the parents. If she continues to engage it could backfire because it looks like she CAN communicate with no problem...
If your goal is to show that you can't communicate even though you can, then you may not want to. Although it may backfire even worse for you for not following the agreement. Decisions, decisions...
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  #23  
Old 11-22-2018, 04:53 PM
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Originally Posted by StillPaying View Post
Except that they have an agreement that she would send all the school into herself, as part of her sole custody duties. It's trivial but continuously being used against her. Take the emotions out of it and just send everything. Not only is it what they agreed to, but it totally debunks his case.







I agree and it's totally bs... but it's being used against her with custody at stake. You don't have to remind or anything, just send the info as it comes.







If your goal is to show that you can't communicate even though you can, then you may not want to. Although it may backfire even worse for you for not following the agreement. Decisions, decisions...


I mean I sent the progress reports... I sent the school pics order form... I sent the communication book. He met the teachers the first day of school...

I send him all appointments and times.... what more can I do??


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  #24  
Old 11-22-2018, 06:44 PM
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All communication between the school and the parents, regardless if initiated by the school or a parent, should be copied to both parents. This alleviates 90% of any issues around this entire topic.
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  #25  
Old 11-22-2018, 07:15 PM
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Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
All communication between the school and the parents, regardless if initiated by the school or a parent, should be copied to both parents. This alleviates 90% of any issues around this entire topic.


My kids school wonít do this. I have asked. The teacher calls me if there is an issue. She doesnít have the time to make the same phone call to dad. Thatís when I send an email if itís important information.


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  #26  
Old 11-22-2018, 10:07 PM
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1- then ask the teacher to communicate via email rather than a phone call and copy you both. If the teacher has time to call, they have time to email and it takes no extra time to relay the same info to both of you.
2- if the teacher feels it's important enough to contact you about, then it's equally important to contact dad about, don't decide for dad what is and isn't important to him or filter out what you feel isn't important information. Let dad decide for himself.
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  #27  
Old 11-22-2018, 10:10 PM
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Blink... if I could get the teachers to email that would save me a world of stress. They refuse to email. Especially when they know there is court action going on. They also refuse to speak to the ocl.

I am stuck in the middle. If they call me and I try to tell dad it gets twisted and he tells me to get the teacher to call him instead of me relating the message. Or he doesnít believe what I am relaying. Emails from teacher would solve all our issues. I just canít make them. She calls me for 5 mins at the end of her day. And thatís it.


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  #28  
Old 11-22-2018, 10:55 PM
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So guessing by your oldest childs age, he must be in grade 5/6 and Dad has 2 sons in the school system? So Dad hasnt figured out the school system communication yet?? And you have been separated for 5 years??? Parents usually have this figured out in JK. Can he not pick up the phone and ask to speak with the teacher or better yet set up an appointment? Why are you the messenger when he can get it straight from the source?

No offence, by your enabling him, he needs to figure this out before they hit high school and he has even less communication. You will always be the Mother of his children, but you don't need to be his Nanny as well.

If I had to email my ex every time the school phones, which is almost daily, I would lose my mind!
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  #29  
Old 11-22-2018, 11:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
I mean I sent the progress reports... I sent the school pics order form... I sent the communication book. He met the teachers the first day of school...

I send him all appointments and times.... what more can I do??
Sounds like you are fulfilling your agreement and there should be no issues.

But you made this thread, so your ex must be complaining about not being informed. Normally you shouldn't have to do so much but you agreed to it and he's using it against you. It also doesn't sound like you're fulfilling your agreement with comments like:

And the meet the teacher date was on the report cards.
Guess he missed the part on the report cards where it says the teachers names.
And that I need to spoon feed him all this info. I spoon fed him before and it all went ignored. Now I stop enabling him and it will be used against me.
She doesnít have the time to make the same phone call to dad. Thatís when I send an email if itís important information.
I canít be writing emails every day as to every little occurrence.
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  #30  
Old 11-22-2018, 11:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StillPaying View Post
Sounds like you are fulfilling your agreement and there should be no issues.



But you made this thread, so your ex must be complaining about not being informed. Normally you shouldn't have to do so much but you agreed to it and he's using it against you. It also doesn't sound like you're fulfilling your agreement with comments like:



And the meet the teacher date was on the report cards.

Guess he missed the part on the report cards where it says the teachers names.

And that I need to spoon feed him all this info. I spoon fed him before and it all went ignored. Now I stop enabling him and it will be used against me.

She doesnít have the time to make the same phone call to dad. Thatís when I send an email if itís important information.

I canít be writing emails every day as to every little occurrence.


Wow you sound like youngdad.
THERE WAS NO MEET THE TEACHER MEETING... just a date.

I came here for information. Not to be criticized. I get that enough from my ex.

I made the thread because dad is trying to twist that I donít inform yet I can print every email where I have informed what he is asking.

When you used to get a long with your ex and stand and chat at the door and talked about the kids with no issues and there never a complaint from him for the first 3.5 yrs of divorce Then you go to being accused of being a complete monster, yes one tends to question if they have given enough info in an email so itís not used against them. Right and before he got his partner thatís right he didnít use email as he didnít know how. Now all of a sudden he emails like a scholar and refuses to text or speak in person ( Because partner has no control over that).


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