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Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two
Dad telling his children to go tell Mom they want to stay with dad and miss dinner is not mom dragging kids into it.
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To be clear, I've never actually defended the Dad. He sounds like he is worse than you. I am just saying that you can control your behaviour. You cannot control his behaviour. Do the best that you can do. Maybe he drags the kids into it, but you don't have to descend to the same level.
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Going into the change room to make sure my son is ok is hardly a sucker punch. Funny statement though.
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Attempting to parent when it is not your parenting time, and then claiming that you don't understand why he gets upset is a little disingenuous. I've talked to many divorced parents, and parenting during the other parent's time is a
major point of contention. It is a high-aggression move. It sends the message "I'm a better parent than you"... and no parent appreciates that message.
Especially when that message is true
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Dad coming and ripping your child from your arms and removing him to another area of the arena when you are trying to give him a time out for hitting his friend at hockey (on moms weekend). Is much more of a sucker punch I would say.
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Agreed. That is much worse, and if he was on this forum I would be telling him that it was a terrible move as well. However, his wrongs don't make your wrongs a right, as the saying goes.
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At least you agree that he parents incorrectly.
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Perhaps you have misunderstood my point of view. I have never said that he parents well, I have just said that he has parenting time, during which he gets to parent. Conversely, during his parenting time, you do not get to parent.
The same applies to him, but alas he is not here to receive my wise admonishments.
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Control is hardly the issue. If the other parent actually listened to his child there would not have been any skate issues.
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So, if the dad did what you want him to do, then there would not be any issues. You don't want control, you just know you are right and know that he should do things your way. That's totally different than control.
I want to reiterate that I'm not against you, your ex sounds a lot like mine so I'm feeling a surprisingly high level of empathy here. I'm just hoping to help you see why it has to be on you to disengage, and why your continued focus on dad's wrongs doesn't help.
10-17-2018, 08:54 AM
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