Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 10-14-2018, 08:21 AM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 474
Mom 2 Two is on a distinguished road
Default Sporting Events on Non Custodial parents weekend.

Hi All,

Do you attend your childrenís activities on the other parents time?

Is your child allowed to speak to you or come near you when itís the other parents time at these activities?

If your child was hurt and crying is it interfering on the other parents time to go to your child to see if they are ok and comfort them?

My child was trying to wave down his parent and they were no where to be found. So I went to my kid to see if he was ok and what he needed. After the practise I went down to change room to let other parent know our child needed an adjustment to his equipment. Am I overstepping ?

I was only trying to make sure the equipment I had purchased was being used correctly and showing needed adjustments.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 10-15-2018, 07:06 AM
Codename Codename is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 9
Codename is on a distinguished road
Default

I am a grandparent. I attend all the events that my grandchild has. I talk to my grandchild in front of the parent that is not my child. I give my grandchild kisses and hugs when they score a goal, I make sure that my grandchild has there shoe laces tied on the field. If the parent who has him on that particular day does not like that I make contact with my grandchild they can make a scene all they want. Eg: your child is in the hospital for two weeks do you visit your child on your days only and he on his days only. You are not overstepping anything tell them to take it up with there lawyer to send you a letter lets see how stupid they will look. Give your child all the attention they need when you are attending an event, bring friends along with you to show how proud you are. Make your ex feel like a _______. (Fill in the blank)
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 10-15-2018, 07:15 AM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 474
Mom 2 Two is on a distinguished road
Default

Thank you for the validation!! Any time I go near my child at said events I am accused quite heavily of interfering on other parents time. And my children are repeatedly told to not go near me while I am at these events.

And to be quite honest itís to the point Iím afraid now to go near them in fear of retaliation.

I tended to my child who was upset and in pain. Tried to speak to the other parent to explain what equipment adjustment was needed. 1 hour later I get a viscous email with lies saying I assaulted the other parent in the change room and that now my child and other parents step child are terrified of me. That my partner (who was standing in the hallway away from us) was intimidating and scary and his use of force was not necessary. Of course I am afraid now they will bring this email to court. My only response the ridiculous accusations were that my partner and I disagreed with their version of events and that we would continue to support the emotional and physical needs of our child when it was warranted.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 10-15-2018, 09:34 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 646
kate331 is on a distinguished road
Default

I believe you can have it written into your agreement that both parents are entitled to attend all school and sporting events.

This way nothing can be said or complained about.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 10-16-2018, 08:33 AM
Janus's Avatar
Janus Janus is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,112
Janus will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
Do you attend your childrenís activities on the other parents time?
Of course, why would I not?

Quote:
My child was trying to wave down his parent and they were no where to be found. So I went to my kid to see if he was ok and what he needed.
Seems reasonable. If a child is hurt you go and comfort them.

Quote:
After the practise I went down to change room to let other parent know our child needed an adjustment to his equipment. Am I overstepping ?
Yes, I think this is overstepping. The change room stuff to me falls under "parenting activities", and unless you are invited I would not be intruding into that space.

Helping your child with an injury overrides parenting time considerations. Adjusting equipment does not.

Quote:
I was only trying to make sure the equipment I had purchased was being used correctly and showing needed adjustments.
"I had purchased"

Yes, I'm going to adjust the previous paragraph to say "massively overstepping". Buying the equipment does not give you any special rights. The fact that you felt it was necessary to point out in the forum that you had bought the equipment shines a big bright spotlight on the likely attitude you brought into that change room.

Others may disagree, and you can choose to listen to them, but the only thing you are going to get by helicoptering during the other parent's time is a world of acrimony and hurt that will eventually turn out poorly for your child.

Watch the game, let your kid know you are there. That is sufficient. Let the other parent do the parenting.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 10-16-2018, 08:54 AM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 474
Mom 2 Two is on a distinguished road
Default Sporting Events on Non Custodial parents weekend.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Of course, why would I not?







Seems reasonable. If a child is hurt you go and comfort them.







Yes, I think this is overstepping. The change room stuff to me falls under "parenting activities", and unless you are invited I would not be intruding into that space.



Helping your child with an injury overrides parenting time considerations. Adjusting equipment does not.







"I had purchased"



Yes, I'm going to adjust the previous paragraph to say "massively overstepping". Buying the equipment does not give you any special rights. The fact that you felt it was necessary to point out in the forum that you had bought the equipment shines a big bright spotlight on the likely attitude you brought into that change room.



Others may disagree, and you can choose to listen to them, but the only thing you are going to get by helicoptering during the other parent's time is a world of acrimony and hurt that will eventually turn out poorly for your child.



Watch the game, let your kid know you are there. That is sufficient. Let the other parent do the parenting.


More Info Janus maybe will help. Maybe not. I was trying to be discrete. Child has orthotics in his shoes. Prescribed by a dr. Childís feet were hurting and he could barely skate. Child had no issue previous week when Mom tied his skates. I went down to see if child had the insoles in his skates. He did not. So I tried to explain to dad(who refused to come to the orthotics appointment he was invited to) that he needed the insoles in his skates... as dad refuses to listen or follow drís recommendations. So since my son had to play another hockey game that weekend I wanted to make sure my sons feet were not going to hurt again. Dad couldnít and wouldnít even speak to me regarding this issue and how we could fix it so our son wasnít in pain. Dads gf decided to be the hero the next day after his second game and went and purchased my son brand new skates. Took the expensive insoles I purchased and put them in the new skates. Completely wasted my money as I canít return the other skates that would have been perfectly fine if dad would have just put the insoles in them and not tied them so right And I am the bad one who interfered? Ok. Just another note. I never go down to the change room on his time any other time. This was his first weekend with dad at hockey this year. If dad actually wants shared custody maybe he should try communicating and making a decision on his own rather than deferring to his gf each time because dad has no balls. My son had to sit and watch dad ignore his mother and cause conflict. When all I was trying to do is make sure my son was not going to be in pain again. Dad had his skates tied so tight his foot was blue. Thx.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Last edited by Mom 2 Two; 10-16-2018 at 09:03 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 10-16-2018, 11:26 AM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,840
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default

How old is your son?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 10-16-2018, 11:28 AM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 474
Mom 2 Two is on a distinguished road
Default

10


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 10-16-2018, 11:35 AM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,840
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default

Your boy is old enough to communicate what he needs directly, to Dad. Or he can adjust his own skates/orthotics. Teach him, and he can help Dad with it when needed.



It's apparent you and Dad don't get along, so don't get into each other's faces. Attend, and watch your kid on Dad's weekends. Be close enough, that kid can see you, and come say hi to you, and tell you about the game, and such...but yeah, if you don't get along with Dad, I wouldn't be following into the change room, to lecture on proper equipment use...especially if you're both on such bad terms, that you guys would accuse each other of assault?



When it's your weekend for skating/hockey with kid, be the bigger parent. One of you have to.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 10-16-2018, 11:37 AM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,840
dad2bandm is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
...If dad actually wants shared custody maybe he should try communicating and making a decision on his own rather than deferring to his gf each time because dad has no balls...

This comment is ridiculous by the way. It really does sound like you guys need to smarten up, and put your kid first at such events.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Faulty to assume Shared Parenting: here's why SilverLining Divorce & Family Law 44 06-29-2014 01:41 PM
Assuming is never a good option. SilverLining Political Issues 5 04-26-2009 10:30 AM
Opinion SilverLining Political Issues 0 04-25-2009 06:44 PM
PAS, custodial parents and the courts dadtotheend Divorce & Family Law 20 01-30-2009 02:50 AM
Custody Disputed Decent Dad Political Issues 2 06-26-2006 09:05 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:37 PM.