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Old 06-20-2019, 01:19 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Originally Posted by Selfrepmom View Post
Have you thought about slowly reaching out to the stepmom to deal with her instead over some issues? Sometimes the ex’s new partner (as long as they have some serious time together, not like a 6 month old relationship) can be your savior and voice of reason. If it’s A longer relationship they are usually aware of their partners flaws- which sounds like is the case here.

I find I can reason with my ex’s fiancé a lot better than I can with him. And because she’s the one he shares a pillow with, she is usually able to put a sweeter spin on my opinion/argument and convince him that he may be in the wrong.

Your ex’s wife has kids from a previous relationship. She knows how this works. Perhaps if you talk to her about some minor issues (start with the Friday pick up time maybe?) and ask her for her input and suggestions on how to make the 4:30 time work, she will see you being reasonable and convince your ex of such. Then you can slowly work up to other larger issues like getting him into therapy with the kids.

Not the most ideal situation I know, but it might work?

This is a great suggestion. And I did reach out to her many times in the past. I think that only enabled her to get more involved and take over. Therefore cutting dad out completely. You would think she understand. And I think she does. However. She is well compensated from her ex husband. (Remember court files are pubic information and I took it upon myself to read her separation agreement) twice the amount of child support she get than what my ex pays. And several Sect7 things he pays her 70% for. So I agree you would think she would be empathetic. But we are beyond that. The less money my ex pays me the more that stays in her household. Also keep in mind she chooses to work part time. OCL report found she was triangulating herself into the parental role and was recommended she step way back as she is a contributor to the conflict. Ex admits she is the one corresponding. Yes they say it’s his thoughts and decisions. But I don’t agree. I think she is biting in his ear and influencing him.

I did have a run in with her not too long ago. And she played the victim. Was visibly upset she is getting some blame. Claims she doesn’t even know what is written in courts docs and that there are other forces at work telling my ex what to do. lol. He has no other family except a mom who barely speaks English. Really she shouldn’t have started with me an it was in front of my son whom I had to ask to go sit away from us.

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