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What was the main reason for your relationship breakdown?

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  • OMG it isn't true??? Sorry it must be a real drain on you. I know I am the one with issues but I never really put it onto my ex's shoulders for my health woes - that is , I am sorry out of respect I can't say it!! I needed things from our relationship and I couldn't wait any longer - asked and waited for 6 years..... but I finally accepted what the professionals were telling me.

    But this is affecting your finances as well re the lawyer - Is there not a way for your representation to "force" your divorce througgh based on what i think is called cognative evidence in which in a way you would divorce your ex as if he wasn't even here (froom whay you say in a way he is not). But in doing so it will be very good for both of you - you settle, figure where you stand and then to the best of your abilities - MOVE PAAST this awful time (sorry for the bad keyinng I know my fingers are not working right tonight....

    have you seriously looked into just pushing your evidence as the best available and get your divorce "processed"?
    Last edited by ddol1; 01-26-2012, 01:52 AM.

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    • There are 3 orders already and he fails to comply, then gets another lawyer, The next lawyer then has to get educated by mine, we start all over again, he hasnt disclosed anything true or of relevance yet, He filed, refuses to provide documents, support or anything. There are court orders but his next lawyer seems to pretend they dont exist again. You would think, he filed for divorce and would want to get this over with ASAP, but its him, he wont provide a true discloseur, keeps breaching the orders, and were at the beginning again. Im just frustrated with the whole system.

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      • Adultery! In fact, it is the reason listed on the divorce order. That doesn't happen often.

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        • Mine was also infidelity ... never thought in a million years he'd cheat on me but none of us do, do we. He was my life, my knight in shining armour, my dream come true he's the one that taught me to trust ...lol... said he don't cheat or get divorced ... well this man did a complete 360 on me, we never fought 3 in 8yrs that's it! no signs or warnings just my intuition and watching is what caught him with his hand in the cookie jar so to say. Middle Age Crisis ya, probably but sry that's no excuse to me please gentlemen correct me if I'm wrong and btw , no it's NOT only men that cheat on their spouses women do also.

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          • Mine is addiction related. I am sober and my partner is a raging alcoholic Not to mention all that comes with that...unfortunately

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            • Originally posted by Peggy View Post
              I don't know if a marriage ever breaks down for one single reason.
              So true! For me it was a build up of multiple issues as well: finances, division of labour; disagreement over having children or not; my Ex's addiction issues; my obsession with my career... But I guess the biggest killer was problems communicating with one another... Made it hard to talk about all the other stuff that wasn't working. My Ex wasn't interested in counseling. Things just got worse and worse over time.

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              • We led entirely separate lives. He was consumed with business and success, and spent very little time with the children and I. Ultimately his business failed as well as the marriage.
                By the time that I left I was completely void of feelings for him.
                I certainly hope to find a true partnership where there is equality and a mutual respect for one another...and I think that I may have found that person

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                • Originally posted by Troubled in TO View Post
                  We led entirely separate lives. He was consumed with business and success, and spent very little time with the children and I. Ultimately his business failed as well as the marriage.
                  Based on your comment below, it doesn't sound like you respected your partner. You technically do have "separate lives" as you are unique and individual people. Just because you are married to someone it doesn't mean that every aspect of your lives are enmeshed. In fact, some would say that distance is needed in a relationship for it to work.

                  In fact, many relationships break down because one party is dependent on the other for their entire "emotional health and well being". They are unable to find themselves, meet their own objectives and life and often project blame at their personal happiness, which was well within their control as a unique and individual human, on the other partner.

                  Originally posted by Troubled in TO View Post
                  By the time that I left I was completely void of feelings for him.
                  But, the person in question is still a parent to the children. This is a strong statement to make about the parent to the children. I recommend you really double check if you are "void" of feelings for the other parent in the matter.

                  Originally posted by Troubled in TO View Post
                  I certainly hope to find a true partnership where there is equality and a mutual respect for one another...and I think that I may have found that person
                  If you apply the same rules that you had with your other partner... You may find yourself in the same place again.

                  Good Luck!
                  Tayken

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