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When Introverts and Extroverts Collide

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  • #16
    The reality is that we are not only losing a life-partner but also most of our social circle. The status change associated with being a single changes the dynamics of most of our relationships.

    I had a very close friendship with my in-laws and now they are so uncomfortable about the break-up that I prefer to avoid them rather than see them upset - they are in their 70's ... aside from the obvious financial problems caused by divorce, this is one of the issues that really 'sux' big time.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by oink View Post
      No different from moving to another country and leaving your family and friends behind.....kinda makes you stronger

      Some people will never know what it's like to live elsewhere (another city, province, country)
      True enough, yet there's something positive about starting over and forgetting the bad chapters - it can be lonely at first but it's way better than living with the ghosts of the past.

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      • #18
        This topic really interests me because my ex and I were very different people. Think about it, with Lava Life and other sites to match people up, would you look for someone completely incompatible with you? No wonder sites like SingleChristians.com is so popular now, religion is something can bound people for example. But is it enough to keep two opposites together? I think not.

        My experience is this, stay away from the opposite. Perhaps initially you will like that person, but differing perspectives will determine the outcome in the end.

        #1 Differences cause friction... if you like someone who's ambitious but your spouse likes to lounge around, you will soon find a lack of ambition to look ugly.

        #2. Different outlooks on life will ultimately lead to friction. If you feel that world poverty brings you down but your spouse only cares about material things around them, you will ultimately see them as greedy or selfish. You might end up liking someone else who's more empathetic or sympathetic in the end.

        #3. I comprimised my values with my wife, she was a real introvert, while she was pretty and I loved her smile, we weren't aligned when it came to lifesytle for example. I think we were both making sacrifices and in the end it exploded in our faces (or atleast in mine).

        #4. Sexually you might like something different, but truth is in a relationship we seek sameness. Everyone looks for traits in others that they see in themselves. I'm a dog person, my ex hated pets!

        #5. Why make it difficult? We all look for simplicity, we want to come home and relax. If you're with someone who's different, you can't relax.

        That's my quick take on things.

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        • #19
          I agree with you Gordy. I think that saying that Opposites Attract may be true initially but long term, I think a couple can handle a few diffences but there's some level of critical mass where it just becomes too much.

          When I dated, I just made a list of things that were "no-ways" (things I can't deal with) v.s. the "no big deals" (things that are different but not a big deal to me). I think there are some differences that are ok and some that will end up causing a lot of issues in a long-term relationship. Its good if can discern what they are.

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