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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 07-01-2019, 10:40 PM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phatkid77 View Post
Agreed. But she was assaultive the night they split so he left, for obvious reasons.
Your friend assaulted her?

This case is already over. Your friend has lost. He assaulted her and moved out. She is restricting custody and she will likely be able to continue to do so. He might get some


Quote:
The money is gone so will have nothing left to fight
Your friend is going to pay years of child support. Think the mom is going to let that drop at any price? Especially because your friend would almost certainly lose a trial and so mom would get a good chunk of her lawyer fees back.
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  #12  
Old 07-01-2019, 10:47 PM
phatkid77 phatkid77 is offline
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No no. Re read. SHE assaulted him


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  #13  
Old 07-01-2019, 10:51 PM
phatkid77 phatkid77 is offline
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And from here and reading case law. The courts are not interested in the mud slinging. So our position has no mention.

Just 50/50 custody. No money going either way it out of court
VS
Her gimme sole custody and I won’t go for child support
Well 50/50 has HER paying a set off amount of around $300 a month.

It baffles me that with the best interests of the child being paramount this type of crap goes on. Granted the lawyer can only go by what he is told from their client, but Make accusations all you want. Police reports? Hospital records? Can’t just use friends as “witnesseses”
If it doesn’t have any bearing on “ability to parent”. You’re wasting courts time and money


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  #14  
Old 07-01-2019, 10:55 PM
phatkid77 phatkid77 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Your friend assaulted her?



This case is already over. Your friend has lost. He assaulted her and moved out. She is restricting custody and she will likely be able to continue to do so. He might get some









Your friend is going to pay years of child support. Think the mom is going to let that drop at any price? Especially because your friend would almost certainly lose a trial and so mom would get a good chunk of her lawyer fees back.


I think her “offer” of no support of sole custody was just a power move knowing he can’t afford a lawyer, so maybe like most guys would JUMP at the opportunity to pay no support. When in reality all he wants is to see his child. To have a “schedule” not a whenever mom feels like it



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  #15  
Old 07-02-2019, 09:53 AM
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Your friend is in a very critical time period right now. How he conducts himself over the next few months are basically going to dictate whether or not he has any sort of time with his kid, besides 26 weekends a year, over the next 10+ years. He cannot for one minute let his guard down and settle for anything short of 50/50, no matter how “nice” she starts to be. Especially if he doesn’t have money for a lawyer.

While I would agree with Janus and say he needs to move back into that house TODAY, she has already assaulted him and things have already become physical. There is a very good chance that if he moves back in things will become physical again and your friend will be the one charged with assault while trying to defend himself. Then it is 100% game over.

He needs to

A) Separate his emotions from this custody battle. ASAP.
B) Only communicate with ex via email
C) Make multiple written requests via email to see the child- like a few times a week. Show up to pick up child (have a witness come with him)/document her refusal/stay calm and positive
D) Start the ball rolling on court proceedings. Study his ass off. Push for trial/don’t get caught up in bullshit unless ex begins offering 50/50
E) Block the ex on all social media accounts/don’t post anything at all for now. One day he is posting a picture having a few beers with friends on Canada Day, next day ex will call to say she is now only allowing supervised visits because he is an alcoholic. This will prolong court proceedings and will establish a longer status quo in favour of the ex.
F) Start voluntarily paying ex the correct amount of table child support via cheque or etransfer. Do not give her cash.

And again. Separate his emotions from this. That is going to be the most critical first step he will need to master.
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  #16  
Old 07-02-2019, 10:00 AM
phatkid77 phatkid77 is offline
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Thanks for the advice.
All the above has basically been done

That’s why filing for emergency motion to get in front of a judge in the next couple weeks. Because this is unacceptable, irrational and in no way the best interests of the child. Simply because she wants to claim abuse and hide behind “for our kids safety”.

Just yesterday she said I can’t wait for court and the judge hand it to you because I’ve been more than reasonable and your selfish, YET he’s suggesting 50/50 and she demands sole with visits sprinkled in here and there when she sees fit

Sooooo frustrating.


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  #17  
Old 07-02-2019, 10:13 AM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Unfortunately this is not an emergency. His motion will be dismissed.

One time, after 3 years of status quo custody in my favour, my ex told me that he was not going to let me have our daughter back at the end of his time. (Nothing was court ordered yet). When I spoke to a lawyer and asked if I could file an emergency motion to get her back to me if he did this, they flat out told me no. There is no emergency if one parent is just being an unreasonable dick. They told me I MAY be able to file an urgent motion, but again, the outcome would not be guaranteed. Luckily the ex’s bark was worse than his bite, and I never had to go through with it though.

Your friend is still seeing his kid (although sparingly). The kid is in no immediate physical danger. It sucks, but he’s going to have to push through like everyone else.
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  #18  
Old 07-02-2019, 10:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phatkid77 View Post
Simply because she wants to claim abuse and hide behind “for our kids safety”.


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Oh shit. I missed this part. If she’s already started making these claims WATCH OUT. Seriously.

They will get in front of a judge for this emergency motion, she will feel threatened and call out abuse. The judge will refuse to make a decision based solely on this statement. And then to top it off your ex has opened up a whole new can of worms to deal with in future proceedings.

Tread super fucking carefully moving forward.
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  #19  
Old 07-02-2019, 10:17 AM
phatkid77 phatkid77 is offline
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Yeah. And he could play that card too. She thinks he can’t. But I’m trying to keep calm so when I’m court he has been reasonable. Because if he did that. She would call the police which no one wants, but because there is no order. They will just leave.
It enrages me common sense is void here

Now, you mention urgent motion? What’s that. I agree not really an emergency per se, but waiting months or more for court is a joke!

Is that a different form? Or just write urgent instead of emergency on the 14A


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  #20  
Old 07-02-2019, 10:25 AM
phatkid77 phatkid77 is offline
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So, googled and I guess ours would be classified as urgent since we are giving notice, emergency is without I guess.


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