Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 06-17-2019, 02:42 PM
Asphenaz Asphenaz is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 144
Asphenaz is on a distinguished road
Default Is this material change?

Hello All,

Both D12 and S14 want to return to week about. There have been many little things to indicate that they want to return to week about. Things like refusing to return on mid-week visit, coming to my home instead of ex after school, text message from D12, that she wants to come live with me for 3 months...

The latest event was D12, asking my sister to call CAS on her behalf. D12 was not comfortable at the EX's home.

The SW explained that the EX is not sleeping in her bedroom because of "bugs"; she was sleeping on the floor outside the kids rooms for a long time. Now she purchased a bunk-bed and is sleeping in D12's room. Last year she left S14's library books outside in the rain and snow for over two months because she felt they were demonic.

Both D12 and S14 are afraid of the EX's reactions when they don't follow the arrangement. She is not violent. As an example; the last time they asked if they could stay a day longer, she lectured them for over 30 minutes till they gave up.

Would the fact that D12 called CAS, be considered material change? Should I file the motion to change, or continue waiting? Any other thoughts and advice?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 06-17-2019, 03:07 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 474
Mom 2 Two is on a distinguished road
Default

Iím no lawyer, but the material change would be the kids wishes and their age maybe?

And the fact that the other parent seems to be having some episodes of some sort?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 06-17-2019, 03:22 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 5,137
rockscan will become famous soon enoughrockscan will become famous soon enough
Default Is this material change?

What was the result of the call to CAS?

The children may be too young to have a say to switch custody. From what I have read and people have said here, 16 seems to be the age they get a say.

Have you tried to work with mom about issues? Have you suggest trying a new schedule on a temporary basis? Have the children been seeing any professional to discuss their feelings? Have there been any logs of issues through other organizations (ie. School attendance, medical issues etc)

I would think that first you should attempt to work with your ex on this. If there is a threat of losing cs expect this to be a battle. After you have attempted that you may have a case for a change of custody but that may be a fight. I would start with the documentation. Once they are 16 they can let their feet do the talking.

ETA: I went back and looked at your other posts because I recalled you have had other issues. At this point, after all of the other issues with your ex and her threats to move, medication and haphazard decisions, perhaps it may be best to file a motion to change custody and include all the history of the parenting time, impacts to the kids and lack of stability. I do think it may be worth an hour of a lawyers time to ask the question.

Last edited by rockscan; 06-17-2019 at 03:26 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 06-17-2019, 04:46 PM
Asphenaz Asphenaz is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 144
Asphenaz is on a distinguished road
Default

The SW from CAS closed the call. I asked for a printout. From the brief conversation the SW had with me, my EX "explained everything" and brushed it off. The other comment was that she was not 'sick' enough to investigate further.

To me, it's more that it's a record from a professional that the children needs aren't being met. I guess that's better than saying "happy".

You are correct, it will be a battle and it will be messy. In another thread HammerDad made a good point to offer mediation / arbitration before filling the motion. At the lease it shows an attempt to solve the issue without resorting to court.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 06-17-2019, 08:57 PM
tilt tilt is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 231
tilt is on a distinguished road
Default

This recent decision strongly considered (and ultimately decided in the favour of) the wishes of a 12 and 14 year old boys who wished to live full time with the father.

https://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/do...9onsc3621.html
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 06-18-2019, 06:37 AM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 474
Mom 2 Two is on a distinguished road
Default

Wow.. this is great for those boys. I know a family that had two girls the same age run away from mom, and dad got custody of them after they spoke to the judge themselves at a SC. There was lots going on at moms that the girls just couldnít take anymore. So this just shows what age kids for a good reason really do end up having a say.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 06-18-2019, 08:40 AM
Janus's Avatar
Janus Janus is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,382
Janus will become famous soon enoughJanus will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Asphenaz View Post
Would the fact that D12 called CAS, be considered material change?
Quote:
The SW from CAS closed the call.
The CAS call probably hurts your case more than it helps it. CAS felt there were no protection issues. It makes it hard for you to argue that custody needs to be changed because there are protection issues.

Quote:
Any other thoughts and advice?
I think it is very wrong to give children the idea that they can make custody decisions. Even if they have an opinion, a child should never be put in a place where they have the opportunity to reject a parent, it is not fair to the child.

Allowing your child to make custody decisions is a failure to act as a parent.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 06-18-2019, 11:05 AM
Asphenaz Asphenaz is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 144
Asphenaz is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
I think it is very wrong to give children the idea that they can make custody decisions. Even if they have an opinion, a child should never be put in a place where they have the opportunity to reject a parent, it is not fair to the child.

Allowing your child to make custody decisions is a failure to act as a parent.
Thanks for the advice, and I agree with you completely. I hope that's not the impression that I have given. I try my best to keep the kids out of any custody discussions. I listen to their concerns, and try to be as supportive (for them) and neutral (vs the SA).

When it comes to the Ex's erratic behavior, I do my best to listen and help.
I've told them in the past that there are other resources they can tap for help as well. Such as kids help phone, teachers, older friends that can help them cope or blow off some steam. (The latter was mainly after my son said he wanted to commit suicide)

My argument was not the content of the CAS call but the act of calling indicates a need to change.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Res Judicata - No Material Change StillPaying Divorce & Family Law 9 10-01-2018 09:32 AM
Case law/ material change in circumstances paco Divorce & Family Law 18 08-06-2018 11:14 AM
Material Change - Questions anotherSTEPmother Divorce & Family Law 9 09-21-2011 09:11 AM
Material Change in Circumstance? anotherSTEPmother Divorce & Family Law 11 04-09-2011 02:12 PM
Material change Taylor Divorce & Family Law 2 11-07-2006 08:25 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:59 PM.