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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 09-13-2006, 11:12 AM
mom22galz mom22galz is offline
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Default Help: the ex doesn't want to talk to his kids...

I'm well aware that maintaining a close relationship with both parents post-separation in best for the children. And I've been doing my best to encourage same. However, for the first 2 weeks after my ex moved out, he was completely imcommunicado. We didn't know where he's staying, his pay-go cell phone was out of time, he didn't contact us.

He finally put time on his phone this past w/e, and the girls left a heartfelt message on his voice mail. He called back the next day, and over the past few days they've spoken quite often. I put his initial reaction down to transitional stress or something, and figured that was behind us.

Granted, the timing of his calls has consistently been way off -- right at bed time, or in the midst of the morning rush to the school bus. He knows our schedule. But I was just glad the girls were talking to their dad, so didn't express any objection. It was hurting them to be so ignored by him. I took it in stride, hoping we would establish better times to call soon enough.

This morning when I got to work, there was a 2 minute message on my voice mail from him. He specifically asked me not to let the kids call him anymore. Claimed he was selling the phone. Several other disturbing things were said.

What do I do now? Access is a child's right, and my kids want to see their dad. He still won't even tell them where he is. He refused our daughters' invite to attend the meet the teacher bbq at school next week. He seems to have quit his job. And now he's asked ME not to let them call him... Is there such a thing as self-imposed parental alienation??

Any advice in dealing with this turn to events is most appreciated.
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Old 09-13-2006, 06:42 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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mom22galz,


Quote:
This morning when I got to work, there was a 2 minute message on my voice mail from him. He specifically asked me not to let the kids call him anymore. Claimed he was selling the phone. Several other disturbing things were said.
Disturbing indeed, However, there is no law that compels a person to be a parent to a child. Save the phone message for future use. I would continue to encourage the kids to call the other parent. If he disposes of the phone and there is no forwarded number or address, you have done and encouraged in a reasonable manner. It is tragic that he wants to sever the relationship with the children. Maybe over time, he view will change. I would go ahead with the school program for the children.

lv
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