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Old 06-29-2007, 10:26 AM
alwaysfrustrated alwaysfrustrated is offline
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Default Other Parent Moving Away with Child

When my husband and his ex-wife signed their Divorce/Separation/Custody agreement they lived 20 min away from each other. The agreed on Joint Custody with Primary Residence being with his Mom. The agreement was every other weekend and once a week during the week after work/school... and any other time that was agreed upon.

Then she decided to move away with her new husband from 20 minutes away to an hour and 15 minutes and out of Province. She made it quite clear that she wasn't sharing in the driving and if he wanted to see his son he had to "damn well come and get him". What could we do - people can't always afford to go to court/seek a lawyer every tiem something happens... so he wanted to see his son -so he drove.

Now a couple months ago... she moved even further away because her new husband got a new job - she told my husband that there was nothing he could do to stop the move. Now he is almost 3 hours away (2 hours 45 min). She said all along that she would meet him in an agreed spot.. .and up until yesterday it was fine. Now she has done a mapquest and decided it was too far for her to drive and she changed the meeting point.

Man, does my husband have any say at all. It's like she holds all the cards and if he doesnt' agree to her every rule, he doesn't see his son.

Has anyone had any legal experience/knowledge of a similar situation?


Always Frustrated!!!!
Old 06-29-2007, 08:46 PM
today today is offline
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It would most certainly depend on if you have an agreement in place.

If not or perhaps only a verbal agreement.....well I am slightly radical so take it for what it is worth but I would pick up my child then call and ask what time she intends to pick the child once you are home.

If she says she will not pick up the child that is her problem not yours. Of course she will be really pissed, my opinion would be so what...who cares let her be.. But really you would have done nothing wrong, perhaps tape the conversation when you call to inquire when she will pick up the child. You may need it later.

If you have a written agreement then normally there would be something to protect both parties for this type of situation.. No written agreement, her problem not yours. She moved (twice)

Of course you know your next visit may also become a you decide. For me I would do it in a heart beat if nothing in writing, If she refuses your next visit call the police, they will of course do nothing but you will have documentation for when you eventually hit court of her denial.

Then again maybe you could just give in and do all the driving, it is your decision.

Good luck
Old 06-29-2007, 08:59 PM
today today is offline
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I just read my post and it seemed harsh. Please undersatnd that the decision to travel as you described is really not fair for your husband. Of course the decision to do so is yours.

My reply was one based on my past experience. I found that once I made the type of half/half demands I speak of where I go to pick at your home and you pick up at mine to share the travel did not come easilly.

But by pulling a similar stunt my point became clear and in my case we were able to work out a relatively fair arrangement.

Of course parents with primary custody too often feel they are offering the other a privilage by "allowing" you "visiting" time with your own child.

This is not the case and we must not feel privilaged but rather it is our childs right and our childrens parents must share the burden of ensuring they have the opportunity to share time with both parents. (in a perfect world) this would happen but too often one parent feel they have exclusivity over our children.
Old 06-30-2007, 08:35 AM
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FYI our situation was similar, an hour turned into 10, then 12, now it is 18 hours apart.
As I posted in another similar thread on moving children. In our situation, because dad felt he had no choice and mom made it sound like a privilege to have access, and specifically said, "it's a matter or priority", if dad wants to she his child "I would expect any parent to do anything" to facilitate a visitation. But she never helped. Went to court when it was too costly and too hard getting time off, the judge should have laughed out loud because that would have hurt less.

Get the picture, stop it now before it gets too far.
Old 07-03-2007, 08:35 AM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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Every time the child moves to a different distant city creates a material change of circumstance for said child. With that said, the options are two fold.
a) Sit back and do nothing demonstrates acquired consent to the circumstance.

b) Bring forth court action on the grounds of a material change of circumstance for the child and upon doing so, the court shall re apply the best interest test. Further I suspect the court may order that the child's access transportation would be shared between the parents.

Old 08-03-2007, 09:53 AM
tombiosis tombiosis is offline
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So how did this all turn out?
Old 10-19-2012, 07:23 AM
joey11 joey11 is offline
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I am hoping to gain some information here, I currently have a shared custody arrangement and live approximately 50 km away from where his mother lives and plan on moving further away, making the entire driving distance around 120 km. And I will maintain the current schedule

I am just wondering if there are any legal issues that I should be aware of in doing this? Any information would be very helpful.

Thank you for your time
Old 10-19-2012, 08:55 AM
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Joey, do a search for 'mobility' and you will find a tonne of info.
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