Hi all,
I am going through a separation / divorce. My ex and I have come up with a rather unusual separation agreement. We’ve done this without lawyers because we both know what we want. We both agree on all points. My question is, does our agreement contain any provision that’s against family law or that a judge will throw out when the divorce is filed? I’ve heard of cases where even though both parents agreed otherwise, court changed child support payments. Also of cases where they forced a 50% split of matrimonial homes without a party suing for it even though their separation agreement had a different split.
Here’s the situation: right now I have 100% of income, close to $200,000. She was going to college so obviously her income is $0. She is graduating now (writing her last exam this Friday), which is partly why she is moving now. However, she is looking for a job. We have three kids and we were together for just under 10 years.
I will have full custody of kids. She will have full access and generous visitation. We’ll probably go with a 35% / 65% split. We are both okay with it. Specific provisions I am concerned about :-
- All accounts and savings are in my name only, so I have to transfer stuff over to her. However, she doesn’t want RRSP. I told her she could cash it out and pay tax but she doesn’t want to do that. She is asking for 30% of RRSP account value in cash instead. I am okay with it. Will some judge look at this and say I need to give her 20% more?
- Right now I have 100% of income and she has 0%. But that’ll change in the future (in the near future since she finished college and is looking for a job and my income is unusually higher because of some stocks I was given, last of which will vest this year and then my income will drop). However, she wants to protect her future liability. I’ve agreed that regardless of what happens in the future, how my income fluctuates and whether I am unemployed, I still take full responsibility of :-
- 1) Private school tuition for our three children (they go to a private school, combined tuition in 4 figures every month). I have also agreed to sign that all decisions involving children’s health, education or religion (including something as simple as changing their school), will have to be made by both parents.
- 2) Full cost of their athletic programs (thousands a year) , medical, dental, summer camps, equipment, music lessons ... everything!
- 3) I will never ask for child support, regardless of how our incomes change
- 4) I otherwise accept full financial responsibility and liability as a custodian parent
- 5) As a CP, I am required to keep a hefty life insurance
- In return, she agrees to taking 12.5% of equity in the home (instead of 50%). That means in 5 years (when our youngest is only 9 and oldest is 14), even if she is making a 6-figure income and I am unemployed, I wont go after her for child support. There’s more on this in the spousal support area.
We are both okay with this. Will a court cause problems?
- I have an RESP account for three children with $60,000 in it. She expects me to be solely responsible for all childcare related costs. As part of that, she is requiring me to put $600 / month into the RESP until the maximum legal limit is reached. To verify this, she will get RESP statements every month from the account. In return, she will leave the account as-is (instead of spitting it), leaving me in charge. If there’s extra money in the account after our children graduate from post-secondary, I get to keep the money. But if there's shortage, I am going to be fully responsible for their post-secondary education.
- Since I make a lot of money ($200k, though it'll go down soon) and right now she makes nothing (though she'll have a salary soon), and since we’d been married for almost 10 years, she’s entitled to spousal support. But since i have legal custody of kids, it seems reasonable that the spousal support lasts 5 years (6 months for every year of marriage). Now she has asked for a reduced monthly payment ($2500 / month for first 6 months, $1500 thereafter) in exchange for me agreeing to pay for 14 years. Spousal support payment will be reduced by $500 / month everytime one of our children turns 18. She also wants me to agree to this amount (as a debt, ya know) even if our income changes or I lose my job or am unemployed for a while. So in 7 years if I am jobless for a while and she is a millionaire, I'll still owe her $1500 every month. This is also partly why she’s okay with taking 12.5% of equity in the home instead of 50%. I am okay with this. I’d rather give her $1500 / month for 18 years than $4000 / month for 5 years.
Now my question is, given that we have a few unusual provisions around future financial liability (spousal support, child support), division of matrimonial home (the 87.5% / 12.5% split), RRSP (she gets 30% of value in cash), my future rights (I'm signing off on everything and relieving her of all financial responsibilities she may be able to afford in the future) and spousal support payment calculation ... in my mind it’s okay because both she and I are okay with it. We came up with this together and are both happy about it. My question is, will some judge look at this when we file divorce and throw this back at us? Is there something in here that violates the family law or something that judge will say “sorry, I am changing this?” We dont want that to happen, because changing even one provision throws out the entire agreement and we’ll have to start from scratch (eg. if the judge says “sorry, matrimonial home has to be 50/50”, then I wont be okay with signing away the ability to ask for child support in the future or agree to spousal support for 18 years etc.
What do you guys think? It took a while to come up with this. We've been separated 9 months but living in the same house (I sleep on the floor in my home office) because neither one of us wanted to move out until everything was figured out. We are both ready to sign this and move on with our lives, but I am worried about judges potentially causing an issue when we file for divorce.
I am going through a separation / divorce. My ex and I have come up with a rather unusual separation agreement. We’ve done this without lawyers because we both know what we want. We both agree on all points. My question is, does our agreement contain any provision that’s against family law or that a judge will throw out when the divorce is filed? I’ve heard of cases where even though both parents agreed otherwise, court changed child support payments. Also of cases where they forced a 50% split of matrimonial homes without a party suing for it even though their separation agreement had a different split.
Here’s the situation: right now I have 100% of income, close to $200,000. She was going to college so obviously her income is $0. She is graduating now (writing her last exam this Friday), which is partly why she is moving now. However, she is looking for a job. We have three kids and we were together for just under 10 years.
I will have full custody of kids. She will have full access and generous visitation. We’ll probably go with a 35% / 65% split. We are both okay with it. Specific provisions I am concerned about :-
- All accounts and savings are in my name only, so I have to transfer stuff over to her. However, she doesn’t want RRSP. I told her she could cash it out and pay tax but she doesn’t want to do that. She is asking for 30% of RRSP account value in cash instead. I am okay with it. Will some judge look at this and say I need to give her 20% more?
- Right now I have 100% of income and she has 0%. But that’ll change in the future (in the near future since she finished college and is looking for a job and my income is unusually higher because of some stocks I was given, last of which will vest this year and then my income will drop). However, she wants to protect her future liability. I’ve agreed that regardless of what happens in the future, how my income fluctuates and whether I am unemployed, I still take full responsibility of :-
- 1) Private school tuition for our three children (they go to a private school, combined tuition in 4 figures every month). I have also agreed to sign that all decisions involving children’s health, education or religion (including something as simple as changing their school), will have to be made by both parents.
- 2) Full cost of their athletic programs (thousands a year) , medical, dental, summer camps, equipment, music lessons ... everything!
- 3) I will never ask for child support, regardless of how our incomes change
- 4) I otherwise accept full financial responsibility and liability as a custodian parent
- 5) As a CP, I am required to keep a hefty life insurance
- In return, she agrees to taking 12.5% of equity in the home (instead of 50%). That means in 5 years (when our youngest is only 9 and oldest is 14), even if she is making a 6-figure income and I am unemployed, I wont go after her for child support. There’s more on this in the spousal support area.
We are both okay with this. Will a court cause problems?
- I have an RESP account for three children with $60,000 in it. She expects me to be solely responsible for all childcare related costs. As part of that, she is requiring me to put $600 / month into the RESP until the maximum legal limit is reached. To verify this, she will get RESP statements every month from the account. In return, she will leave the account as-is (instead of spitting it), leaving me in charge. If there’s extra money in the account after our children graduate from post-secondary, I get to keep the money. But if there's shortage, I am going to be fully responsible for their post-secondary education.
- Since I make a lot of money ($200k, though it'll go down soon) and right now she makes nothing (though she'll have a salary soon), and since we’d been married for almost 10 years, she’s entitled to spousal support. But since i have legal custody of kids, it seems reasonable that the spousal support lasts 5 years (6 months for every year of marriage). Now she has asked for a reduced monthly payment ($2500 / month for first 6 months, $1500 thereafter) in exchange for me agreeing to pay for 14 years. Spousal support payment will be reduced by $500 / month everytime one of our children turns 18. She also wants me to agree to this amount (as a debt, ya know) even if our income changes or I lose my job or am unemployed for a while. So in 7 years if I am jobless for a while and she is a millionaire, I'll still owe her $1500 every month. This is also partly why she’s okay with taking 12.5% of equity in the home instead of 50%. I am okay with this. I’d rather give her $1500 / month for 18 years than $4000 / month for 5 years.
Now my question is, given that we have a few unusual provisions around future financial liability (spousal support, child support), division of matrimonial home (the 87.5% / 12.5% split), RRSP (she gets 30% of value in cash), my future rights (I'm signing off on everything and relieving her of all financial responsibilities she may be able to afford in the future) and spousal support payment calculation ... in my mind it’s okay because both she and I are okay with it. We came up with this together and are both happy about it. My question is, will some judge look at this when we file divorce and throw this back at us? Is there something in here that violates the family law or something that judge will say “sorry, I am changing this?” We dont want that to happen, because changing even one provision throws out the entire agreement and we’ll have to start from scratch (eg. if the judge says “sorry, matrimonial home has to be 50/50”, then I wont be okay with signing away the ability to ask for child support in the future or agree to spousal support for 18 years etc.
What do you guys think? It took a while to come up with this. We've been separated 9 months but living in the same house (I sleep on the floor in my home office) because neither one of us wanted to move out until everything was figured out. We are both ready to sign this and move on with our lives, but I am worried about judges potentially causing an issue when we file for divorce.
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