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  • #31
    Originally posted by Gooddadbadbreak View Post
    Thank you for your opinion!
    Good Luck!!!

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by Gooddadbadbreak View Post
      So I've been worrying for nothing about that clause in the separation agreement?
      Thank you HammerDad!
      I will do everything in my power to block it, if she does try to move!!!!!
      Just so you are aware if you did fight it in court and lost you could be ordered to pay the other parties costs for being "unreasonable"

      IMO you denying the move would be unreasonable based on what you have told us here. Again it's my opinion and your mileage may vary.

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by Gooddadbadbreak View Post
        This is word for word what it says!
        It also became part of the final order.

        We had lawyers draw up a separation agreement when we separated in 2008 it says
        "if myself or my ex propose to change his or her residence 50kms from address XX he or she will give his or her new address and telephone number to the other"

        By the look of it all she has to do is supply me with the address and phone number!!

        I'm screwed!
        You are correct that the clause as worded does not prevent her from moving with the child. But there is still always court should you try to prevent the ex from relocating with the child. You can provide notice that you don't consent to the kid moving, and it would end up in court as I previously mentioned.

        Hell, even with a mobility clause in your agreement, it still doesn't mean one can't move with the kid. It just means that one has stronger argument that the kid shouldn't be moved.

        In your scenario, as it stands right now, you would be unlikely to succeed with a motion to stop her from moving. The only hope you have is a) re-establish a relationship with your kid or b) hope the ex is moving somewhere the kid doesn't want to be and the child decides to live with you.

        Comment


        • #34
          Get your shit together, get a job and pay for your child. Kids aren't stupid. Your daughter has watched her mother struggle for years with no help from you. You expect the kid to want anything to do with you?????

          Disgusting really. I have no patience for deadbeats. You should be ashamed of yourself. Too bad the judge didn't throw you in jail where you belong.

          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by Gooddadbadbreak View Post
            No I haven't yet.
            As I said earlier it's a rumour I heard.
            I need to know if I can block her moving before I confront her!!

            My ex wife will only communicate with me in an emergency situation, or about the health or safety of my daughter anything else is ignored.
            She's special like that!
            No, if your wife has sole custody of your daughter, you can't block her moving. You could only do so if you had joint custody. Your wife has been supporting your daughter without your input for years, from your account. She has the legal right to move if she thinks it's best.

            I understand that there may have been extenuating circumstances preventing you from playing a part in your daughter's life until now, but the consequence unfortunately is that you've lost any influence over your ex and your daughter. You can start right now to try and repair that - phone calls, emails and letters for your daughter would be good. Be persistent and empathize with how difficult it must have been for your daughter growing up without you. Keep trying to build that relationship, even if it has to be long distance. Put your energy into this instead of into trying to keep your ex from doing what she is legally entitled to do.

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by Gooddadbadbreak View Post
              So I've been worrying for nothing about that clause in the separation agreement?
              Thank you HammerDad!
              I will do everything in my power to block it, if she does try to move!!!!!
              What for? What benefit would there be for your daughter to stay put instead of moving? What disadvantage? Keep in mind, it isn't about you, and it isn't about your ex. It is about your daughter.

              You already live 200kms apart, by your own choice. You don't see your daughter, by her own choice. What would blocking the move accomplish? It wouldn't change a THING for you, from the sounds of it.

              So you are looking at putting up a big legal battle, with no good arguments for your desired outcome. Presumably your ex does have some valid arguments for moving. That means you would very likely lose in court, and have to pay her legal fees. For a guy with no job who can't even pay child support, don't you think that's a scary prospect?

              I would focus your energies more on continuing to try to re-establish the relationship with your daughter. Keep sending her emails, try to call, be gentle about it, not harassing. Always express good wishes instead of trying to make her feel guilty. Send birthday and Christmas gifts without fail. The best thing at this point is to show the girl that you continue to care about her and won't forget her, no matter what, without being all creepy stalker about it of course.

              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by rioe View Post
                what for? What benefit would there be for your daughter to stay put instead of moving? What disadvantage? Keep in mind, it isn't about you, and it isn't about your ex. It is about your daughter.

                You already live 200kms apart, by your own choice. You don't see your daughter, by her own choice. What would blocking the move accomplish? It wouldn't change a thing for you, from the sounds of it.

                So you are looking at putting up a big legal battle, with no good arguments for your desired outcome. Presumably your ex does have some valid arguments for moving. That means you would very likely lose in court, and have to pay her legal fees. For a guy with no job who can't even pay child support, don't you think that's a scary prospect?

                I would focus your energies more on continuing to try to re-establish the relationship with your daughter. Keep sending her emails, try to call, be gentle about it, not harassing. Always express good wishes instead of trying to make her feel guilty. Send birthday and christmas gifts without fail. The best thing at this point is to show the girl that you continue to care about her and won't forget her, no matter what, without being all creepy stalker about it of course.
                what rioe said ... Listen!!!!

                Comment


                • #38
                  Gooddadbadbreak you are asking for opinions rather than legal advice, yes?

                  IMO your daughter being almost 14 probably has already made up her own mind concerning you. You have stated yourself that you have not contributed in any financial way to her upbringing and have had no contact with her in years?

                  To her way of thinking, you are nothing more than a stranger from the past and sadly she would be justified in rejecting any advances on your part.

                  I don't see how your attempting to stop the move will endear you to her in any way - nor do I think that you would have any chance of 'winning' in court. The best you could do is make your info available to her in the advent that one day she may want to contact you ... it should be her decision not yours.

                  I also agree with what rioe ^^^^ wrote - very good advice!
                  Last edited by Janibel; 02-03-2014, 10:23 PM. Reason: typo

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by stripes View Post
                    No, if your wife has sole custody of your daughter, you can't block her moving. You could only do so if you had joint custody. Your wife has been supporting your daughter without your input for years, from your account. She has the legal right to move if she thinks it's best.

                    I understand that there may have been extenuating circumstances preventing you from playing a part in your daughter's life until now, but the consequence unfortunately is that you've lost any influence over your ex and your daughter. You can start right now to try and repair that - phone calls, emails and letters for your daughter would be good. Be persistent and empathize with how difficult it must have been for your daughter growing up without you. Keep trying to build that relationship, even if it has to be long distance. Put your energy into this instead of into trying to keep your ex from doing what she is legally entitled to do.
                    I should empathize with my daughter?
                    My ex wife has turned her into a spoiled brat that doesn't think she has to respect her father!!!!!!!!

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by arabian View Post
                      Get your shit together, get a job and pay for your child. Kids aren't stupid. Your daughter has watched her mother struggle for years with no help from you. You expect the kid to want anything to do with you?????

                      Disgusting really. I have no patience for deadbeats. You should be ashamed of yourself. Too bad the judge didn't throw you in jail where you belong.

                      Thanks for that Arabian!
                      I do not have to pay child support according to the order!

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by Rioe View Post
                        What for? What benefit would there be for your daughter to stay put instead of moving? What disadvantage? Keep in mind, it isn't about you, and it isn't about your ex. It is about your daughter.

                        You already live 200kms apart, by your own choice. You don't see your daughter, by her own choice. What would blocking the move accomplish? It wouldn't change a THING for you, from the sounds of it.

                        So you are looking at putting up a big legal battle, with no good arguments for your desired outcome. Presumably your ex does have some valid arguments for moving. That means you would very likely lose in court, and have to pay her legal fees. For a guy with no job who can't even pay child support, don't you think that's a scary prospect?

                        I would focus your energies more on continuing to try to re-establish the relationship with your daughter. Keep sending her emails, try to call, be gentle about it, not harassing. Always express good wishes instead of trying to make her feel guilty. Send birthday and Christmas gifts without fail. The best thing at this point is to show the girl that you continue to care about her and won't forget her, no matter what, without being all creepy stalker about it of course.
                        I have tried to have a relationship with her!
                        I get no help from my ex wife in this! Should she not try to help me?
                        Her birthday and Christmas gifts are here, I've let her know if she comes to see me she can have them!

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by Janibel View Post
                          Gooddadbadbreak you are asking for opinions rather than legal advice, yes?

                          IMO your daughter being almost 14 probably has already made up her own mind concerning you. You have stated yourself that you have not contributed in any financial way to her upbringing and have had no contact with her in years?

                          To her way of thinking, you are nothing more than a stranger from the past and sadly she would be justified in rejecting any advances on your part.

                          I don't see how your attempting to stop the move will endear you to her in any way - nor do I think that you would have any chance of 'winning' in court. The best you could do is make your info available to her in the advent that one day she may want to contact you ... it should be her decision not yours.

                          I also agree with what rioe ^^^^ wrote - very good advice!
                          I'm sure my ex wife has helped her form her opinion of me!
                          She should be helping me have a relationship with my daughter.
                          I'm looking for both opinions and advice.
                          Thank you

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by Gooddadbadbreak View Post
                            I should empathize with my daughter?
                            My ex wife has turned her into a spoiled brat that doesn't think she has to respect her father!!!!!!!!
                            respect the man who moved 200kms away to live with his gf. Thinks its okay if another man supports his kid. Uses the excuse that his ex and her man live comfortably. Rejects the idea that his gf should help support his kid (but ok for the exs new man to do it).

                            Your daughter is thinking my father left and doesn't do anything to help mom financially to raise me.

                            Stop hiding behind the court order saying that according to it you don't have to pay CS. I am fairly certain that the clause doesn't mean you NEVER have to pay CS. Maybe that's why you don't work, so you have no income to pay.

                            Stop expecting another man to pay for your child and for your gf to support you. Be a man and grow a set. No wonder your daughter has no respect for you. Your gf should wise up and see what type of a leech you are and kick your ass to the curb.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Originally posted by Gooddadbadbreak View Post
                              I should empathize with my daughter?
                              My ex wife has turned her into a spoiled brat that doesn't think she has to respect her father!!!!!!!!
                              Reality check- RESPECT is EARNED... You have done nothing to earn respect. You don't support your daughter in any way, you moved far away for your gf, you lost all access to your daughter... Why would she respect you? You should be happy she doesn't respect a man with your values, no parent would want their child to end up with a jobless man that can't take care of his responsibilities.

                              Have you applied at Walmart, Mcdonalds, Tim Hortons, pizza joints, grocery stores? How hard are you really trying? Why do you expect your daughter to respect you?

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                I grew up respecting my parents!

                                I am not hiding behind anything!
                                How my girlfriend and I choose to live our lives is OUR business!
                                I didn't ask anyone here to support me nor did I ask it of my girlfriend.

                                Berner_Faith
                                Where I've applied for work is quite frankly none of your business!!!!!

                                I came here asking for opinions/advice regarding my ex wife possibly moving with my child.
                                I wanted to know what my options were.
                                The overall reply on here is that she can do whatever she wants.
                                I have an appointment with a lawyer this morning so we will see about that!!!

                                Comment

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