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  • My common law hubby will not leave my home

    I have been in a CL relationship for almost 10 years, for the last 3 it has been lousy, we have not been intimate for 26 months (his choice to start with) I have been asking him to leave my home, I am the only one on title, I did buy this home after we got together but since we were not married, all the downpayment came from my previous home (he was a renter) and I have 3 children from my first marriage I did not want to possibly give away half of my increased value in my home were we not to get married.

    I am the only one that pays mortgage, insurance taxes, although for the past few years he has contributed to utilities and groceries. All of the furniture was mine from before, with the exception of a few items he recently purchased.

    We attended councilling last june, july, August, the last session he walked out of saying he has had enough. I then told him he needed to move on, take all his things I keep all of my things, I even told him he could have the items we purchased together (a vintage mercedes, fridge, washer-dryer) heck, he could take the towels if he wanted, just go. He will not leave. For the last 4 months I have asked him how the house hunt was going, if he needed help finding a new place (I am a realtor) he steadfastly refuses to go unless I give him half the home, or at lease half of the accumulated equity in the home.

    Last year he made over 5 times what I made. I am the one who cooks, cleans, does the renos & home repairs, he only mows the lawn, this guy is a nightmare.

    We stopped going to functions together almost 2 years ago, we have not had a vacation together in years. How do I make him leave

    Also as a footnote when I met him he was earning less than 20k a year (at almost 30 years of age) I payed all his bills including his clothing for years. I had great earnings at the time. 3 years ago I became very sick and had to stop working for just over a year, I still payed mortgage, insurance, taxes groceries and it ate away my savings and I had to put things on my LOC secured by my home. He in turn made on average 180k per year for the past few years and has banked a tidy sum.

    What do I do, how do I make him leave, he is making me and my 2 children left at home miserable, I can't even talk to his friends because he doesn't have any........help

  • #2
    hewontgo,


    Welcome to the forum,

    Jeff has an excellent website for information which can be found here.

    http://www.common-law-separation-canada.com/

    I believe your home is yours, However you may have an unjust enrichment claim from your common law partner. It is hard to comment without knowing all the background facts.

    On the face of your comment,

    I have been in a CL relationship for almost 10 years
    Was this continuous?

    If so you may be entitled to spousal support. The basic criteria is that you have need and your spouse has means.


    I say this in regards to your comment

    Last year he made over 5 times what I made. I am the one who cooks, cleans, does the renos & home repairs, he only mows the lawn, this guy is a nightmare.
    Moreover, If he acted as a parent to your children in those 10 years you may be entitled to a claim of child support from him under the Family Law Act as well.

    Generally after a year, CPP credits earned by each spouse is equalized and any pensions, RSP's contributions during the time of the relationship are to be equalized.

    I highly advise you to seek legal advice through someone such as Jeff. There is more at stake than you may realize. Spend an hour at least and know every aspect of your rights and your children's rights. It is money well spent.
    With all these other issues I have mentioned, I believe you have the upper hand in the matter due to income disparity and the length of the relationship.

    lv

    Comment


    • #3
      This has been a continuous relationship.

      He has acted as a parent to the kids.

      I live in Alberta, I heard this can make a difference. I really don't care if I get child support from him, honestly he just needs to leave, for everyones sanity. If I need to "threaten" him with child support to get him to just leave, I could do that.

      Comment


      • #4
        hewontgo,

        As I mentioned if he acted as a parent to your children, I believe he has an obligation to provide a tabled amount of child support. The onus would be on you to prove on a balance of probabilities that he did act as a parent to the children. IE: did he take the children to extra curricular activities, did he assist in the care of the children, perhaps drive the children to school, make their lunches, things like that. Please see the thread on this issue.

        http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/p...highlight=loco

        Federal child support tables can be found here for each jurisdiction.
        http://canada.justice.gc.ca/en/ps/sup/grl/pdftab.htm

        As an example:
        Someone earning 150K per annum in Alberta, and 2 children, Tabled support is$2096 per month. For incomes over 150K they have a different formula.


        http://canada.justice.gc.ca/en/ps/su...00-150000.html

        Moreover, I believe you would be entitled to Spousal support also due to the income disparity. As you mentioned, at one time you did make more money, but through no fault of your own (Health - medical reasons)this is no longer the case. You have a lengthy relationship together.


        I believe you have the upper hand.

        lv

        Comment


        • #5
          He has driven the kids to activities, although he has never made a lunch or anything like that. He used to attended parent-teacher-student meetings.

          Where do I begin to get him out of here???

          I ask him almost daily if he has found a home. This is my top priority, getting him out and keeping my home for my kids.

          Comment


          • #6
            hewontgo

            I would start by going to see a lawyer and mention the points I have mentioned. child, support spousal support. unless you feel comfortable handling it yourself. There is lots on the line.

            lv

            Comment


            • #7
              I will chat with a lawyer asap but in the meantime how do I get him out when he tells me he will not go?

              Comment


              • #8
                hewontgo,

                I suspect you could call the police, However, they may not act. as an alternative, once you speak to a lawyer, perhaps you could bring forth an application and have him ordered to leave by the courts.

                lv

                Comment


                • #9
                  What does this mean?

                  "However you may have an unjust enrichment claim from your common law partner"

                  Does it mean that I will have to pay him a portion of the increase in value in the home? If so then from what point in time? Do we take into account the amount of debt I accumulated as well as the amount of savings he now has in comparison to when I bought the home?

                  Is this amount inclusive to the day when I can finally get him to leave or the point in time where it was over, counting from when he told me he would never marry me & we stopped being intimate, the point in time where we stopped going out and doing anything as a couple, or the point in time when he told the relationship counciller he has had enough?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    hewontgo,

                    Jeff has an excellent resource here that explains unjust enrichment claims.

                    http://www.common-law-separation-can...enrichment.htm

                    lv

                    Comment

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