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  • How to move forward without a Separation Agreement?

    I am getting no where with a Separation agreement. My EX seems to just want to sit on it and not even negotiate anything.

    My question is. How do I move forward in life without a separation agreement in place? I want to potentially purchase a new place or move in with my new partner but am stuck without knowing my financial obligations because a separation agreement is not in place.

    What can be done to push an unwilling ex to get a separation agreement in place? Or what can I do to assure that I am protected and my new partner is protected from my ex coming after more money?

    I am currently paying the offset amount for child support but not making spousal support payments which I will eventually have to make. I am worried that me cohabiting with someone will allow her to come after even more money than she was in one of our original draft agreements that is going no where.

    Thanks.

  • #2
    Originally posted by 2young4this View Post
    I am getting no where with a Separation agreement. My EX seems to just want to sit on it and not even negotiate anything.

    My question is. How do I move forward in life without a separation agreement in place? I want to potentially purchase a new place or move in with my new partner but am stuck without knowing my financial obligations because a separation agreement is not in place.

    What can be done to push an unwilling ex to get a separation agreement in place? Or what can I do to assure that I am protected and my new partner is protected from my ex coming after more money?

    I am currently paying the offset amount for child support but not making spousal support payments which I will eventually have to make. I am worried that me cohabiting with someone will allow her to come after even more money than she was in one of our original draft agreements that is going no where.

    Thanks.
    So why do you think she has a claim on spousal support? Did she work through the marriage? Did she stop working to raise kids? Did she sacrifice for your career? Did you support her not working for many years?

    Spousal support is not automatic.

    In terms of a new partner, unless you are making a hardship claim, it doesn't matter that you are cohabitating or what your new partner makes. It is none of her business, doesn't affect the calculations, doesn't stand up in court.

    If she doesn't want to negotiate, send her a reasonable offer to settle, via registered mail, and keep the proof. If you go to court, and you made reasonable efforts to settle, and she did not, she could be stuck with court costs.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by 2young4this View Post
      I am getting no where with a Separation agreement. My EX seems to just want to sit on it and not even negotiate anything.

      My question is. How do I move forward in life without a separation agreement in place? I want to potentially purchase a new place or move in with my new partner but am stuck without knowing my financial obligations because a separation agreement is not in place.

      What can be done to push an unwilling ex to get a separation agreement in place? Or what can I do to assure that I am protected and my new partner is protected from my ex coming after more money?

      I am currently paying the offset amount for child support but not making spousal support payments which I will eventually have to make. I am worried that me cohabiting with someone will allow her to come after even more money than she was in one of our original draft agreements that is going no where.

      Thanks.
      I can't figure out your situation at all from your previous posts which are downright contradictory. So I'm just going to point out simple things.

      The longer your ex waits before insisting on SS, the weaker any claim to entitlement. I know it is hard to wait in limbo, but the longer you can stand it, the more likely you can have the SS claim dismissed if/when you end up in court in the future.

      If your ex absolutely refuses to negotiate, you'll eventually have to go to court to obtain a court order in lieu of a separation agreement. This will be expensive, although you might get costs back someday if you have made previous offers to settle.

      Why is your ex procrastinating? What advantage is there to delay (getting to live in the matrimonial home longer, for example)? Figure that out, and maybe you can hurry the process along.

      New partner's income is irrelevant to the process except in rare cases of undue hardship.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Rioe View Post
        I can't figure out your situation at all from your previous posts which are downright contradictory. So I'm just going to point out simple things.

        The longer your ex waits before insisting on SS, the weaker any claim to entitlement. I know it is hard to wait in limbo, but the longer you can stand it, the more likely you can have the SS claim dismissed if/when you end up in court in the future.

        If your ex absolutely refuses to negotiate, you'll eventually have to go to court to obtain a court order in lieu of a separation agreement. This will be expensive, although you might get costs back someday if you have made previous offers to settle.

        Why is your ex procrastinating? What advantage is there to delay (getting to live in the matrimonial home longer, for example)? Figure that out, and maybe you can hurry the process along.

        New partner's income is irrelevant to the process except in rare cases of undue hardship.

        Rioe I wish I could figure out my situation. My original lawyer was an idiot. My new lawyer is expensive and that is why I am here on this board. My EX and I had a 4 way meeting back in December. I thought an agreement would be in place way before now. I was in the matrimonial home and paying the entire mortgage, everything associated to maintaining the house, car/insurance payments for a car she is driving, and debt repayment in lieu of spousal support according to the draft agreement. On top of all that I was making a small spousal support payment which I have stopped. Well it is now May and there is no sign of a response from her lawyer with the minor changes that were to be made by her lawyer. The matrimonial home is sold and proceeds are sitting in trust.

        I think she is sitting on it to try and control me. With the future financial obligations unknown it is making it hard for me to move forward and feel like I have control of my life.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by 2young4this View Post
          Rioe I wish I could figure out my situation. My original lawyer was an idiot. My new lawyer is expensive and that is why I am here on this board. My EX and I had a 4 way meeting back in December. I thought an agreement would be in place way before now. I was in the matrimonial home and paying the entire mortgage, everything associated to maintaining the house, car/insurance payments for a car she is driving, and debt repayment in lieu of spousal support according to the draft agreement. On top of all that I was making a small spousal support payment which I have stopped. Well it is now May and there is no sign of a response from her lawyer with the minor changes that were to be made by her lawyer. The matrimonial home is sold and proceeds are sitting in trust.

          I think she is sitting on it to try and control me. With the future financial obligations unknown it is making it hard for me to move forward and feel like I have control of my life.
          Identify all points that are an issue and try and get agreement on one at a time.

          Deal with the stuff most important to you first.

          Comment


          • #6
            Maybe your ex didn't pay her lawyer and the lawyer stopped working on the Draft Agreement.

            You could do one of these 15 Forms "without consent" or contact her and do it "with Consent" with all the draft agreements warts and whistles.

            It's just a matter of getting her signed and witnessed to the draft Agreement and filing with the Court for the rubber stamp.

            Comment


            • #7
              My EX does not respond to any emails I send to her in regards to the agreement.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by 2young4this View Post
                My EX does not respond to any emails I send to her in regards to the agreement.
                So maybe you should get your stories straight?? In the another post you were the pregnant female in the relationship???

                Ottawa Divorce .com Forums - View Single Post - So many questions.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                  So maybe you should get your stories straight?? In the another post you were the pregnant female in the relationship???

                  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums - View Single Post - So many questions.
                  I don't really think we need to worry about previous posts. I am just looking for help on the current topic.

                  Thanks in advance.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by 2young4this View Post
                    I don't really think we need to worry about previous posts. I am just looking for help on the current topic.

                    Thanks in advance.
                    Lol...Really

                    Edit: I suppose it is very possible the relationship was two females...
                    Last edited by FB_; 05-07-2014, 03:06 PM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      The previous post mentions the spouse as a "he". In this post the spouse is a "she".

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by FB_ View Post
                        Lol...Really

                        Edit: I suppose it is very possible the relationship was two females...
                        Or I am just using my GF's account and that post was very old.....I am just somebody looking for help during a very frustrating time in life.

                        Thanks..

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          it's a he-she!

                          So which version of the truth is it? I assume you aren't knocked up then?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            okay this is officially derailed. Thanks to those who actually replied on topic.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              With your 'current' partner you should be ok. Afterall, did your partner not benefit from 50% portion of a million-dollar home? Your 'current' partner also likely receives a CS and SS or is her separation from ex also unresolved?


                              Seriously, get a lawyer.

                              Comment

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