Husband takes kids

[Cinderella]

Still looking for a lawyer did not submit yet for custody.
We live toegether with D8 and S11
I was informed by email that he will take kids from Thursday night until Sunday night.
No other details.
From my recollection he bought formula1 tickets for him and S11
He promised to D8 that while he is away she will spend time with a friend that she knows.
This conversation was behind my back
They will miss school on Friday and a test on Sat from an extracurricular activity.
I am nervous to tell him I dissagree, last time he threatened me
Our D8 is not ready to leave 3 nights yet he "bought" her while I was away.

What would you do ? Thanks.

[Berner_Faith]

He has every right to have the kids alone for a weekend... it's not unheard of and something YOU need to get use to, not your kids. That's their father they will enjoy the time with him or with her friend whatever his plans may be. You should be setting up a parenting schedule even if you live together... he has this weekend and you have next weekend... Monday Tuesday nights you are responsible for the children, Wednesday Thursday nights he is responsible for the children and you alternate weekends. The whole 2-2-3 schedule.

Why do you disagree? Because they are going to miss a day of school in June where they are most likely just having fun days? Extracurricular activities get missed all the time by kids, it happens.

You can't play gatekeeper and decide when he gets the kids. My answer to him would be fine you can take the kids this weekend but next weekend they spend with me. In home separations are hard so a lot of times parents will take the kids out of the house on their parenting time so the other parent isn't interfering.


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[Cinderella]

No need for bitterness or judgements .
Some kids are missing school and activities and some don't.
Good point with the schedule. Thanks.

[freckles1234]

No need for bitterness or judgements .
Some kids are missing school and activities and some don't.
Good point with the schedule. Thanks.

Where was the bitterness and judgement?

The kids deserve and are entitled to have 2 parents. Just because you and you ex separated doesn't make him any less their parent. Be thankful he gave you notice because realistically he didn't even need to do that! You don't want school and extra curricular missed and your ex doesn't see an issue with it. Why does your opinion supersede your ex? You need to realize it took 2 to make those kids and 2 people are in charge.

Get the parenting schedule down asap with 50/50 time sharing and do as you please on your time and your ex can do as they please on theirs.

[Janus]

Get the parenting schedule down asap with 50/50 time sharing and do as you please on your time and your ex can do as they please on theirs.

So, if you are in shared parenting, and the other parent decides to take the kid out of school every day that is their time, then that would fine?

I'm going to partially go with Cinderella on this one.

Missing extracurricular: That is fine. Either parent can decide that on their own time.
Missing school: That requires both parents. She is right to be pissed about that one.

[rockscan]

School ends in three weeks and its a Friday. Their whole educational career is not going to go down the crapper.

Is this a hill to die on? No. Ask the other parent to discuss with you in the future but let it go. Not worth the battle going into the divorce. Besides, you can have it written in that you will both decide on missing school. Although LF32 cant stop his ex from keeping kid home...

[freckles1234]

So, if you are in shared parenting, and the other parent decides to take the kid out of school every day that is their time, then that would fine?

I'm going to partially go with Cinderella on this one.

Missing extracurricular: That is fine. Either parent can decide that on their own time.
Missing school: That requires both parents. She is right to be pissed about that one.

Janus I think we both know there is a HUGE difference between taking your kid out for 1 day for a special event at the end of the school year and missing school every day. In fact if they started missing school everyday the authorities would get involved. For a one off special event, sorry mom doesn't over rule dad.

[len14]

Standard separation agreements include that other parent is to be notified if more than two consecutive days of school are missed.


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[trinton]

1. How could D8 possibly not be ready for overnights with him if you guys live together? The courts would at the very minimum grant him alternate weekend access. You might as well give that to him. You should also take the opposite weekends.

2. Taking the kids out of school for one day for a long weekend event on rare occasions is not a big issue. Similarly, the kids missing Extracurricular activities for family plans is not a big issue issue. Matter of fact, he can do whatever the hell he pleases during his parenting times. You have no say in that. Stay out of it. That being said, if he takes kids out of school frequently then that would be a big problem.

3. If he is abusive to you, then why don't you call the Police and why are you still living with him? Shouldn't you be at a shelter home ?

[HammerDad]

FYI, in my area Friday was a PA day. Depending on your school board, there may have been no school anyway.

My ex pulled my kid outta school earlier on Thursday so they could go to Great Wolf Lodge for the night. I didn't get notice of it, but I am cool with it. Kid had fun and missed a minimal amount of school.

[LovingFather32]

There are parents here struggling with abduction. One parent coming home to an empty home and no kids. You have some nerve making this the title of your thread .. for a father wanting to plan a fun trip with his kids.

They will miss school on Friday and a test on Sat from an extracurricular activity.

Friday was a PD day. Even if it wasn't it's just one day for a special event. No pattern of missing a lot of school.
My ex keeps D5 from school often too. It bugs me when she keeps her home and sends her to a playgroup for toddlers, but it doesn't bug me if she's visiting family or attending some kind of events. Not like they have exams yet.
Also, I work in schools and everybody is right about June being a sort of fun month in school anyways.

Our D8 is not ready to leave 3 nights yet he "bought" her while I was away.

Give me a break. At 8 kids are able to stay away for a few days with another parent. This is silly. So if the kids want to spend time with dad the only possible reason is because he must have "bought" them? Maybe they like spending time with their dad .. or is that too much of an outlandish postulation on my part?

What would you do ? Thanks

I would mind my own business, let my child go on the fun trip and be happy that my ex is doing this for my child.

You sound very high conflict. Ease up a bit .. not good for the kids.

[Ange71727]

I am pulling my children out of school one day this month so we can go to a waterpark....and I'm a teacher!!! This is June. It is "time filling" at this point. I could understand if this was an ongoing issue but as rockscan said certainly not a hill to die on if he's asking for one day. If it becomes a pattern, then it's worth a mention.


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[arabian]

My son was 1.5 y.o. when I went to Hawaii for 2 weeks - yes son stayed with his father most of the time and went to grandparents for a few days. Everything went well.

Go for a girls' weekend with friends... enjoy your time to yourself!