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  • #16
    I hope she gets the braces asap and he pays his fair share! I cant imagine battling with the ex for years to come. If you have to go back to court, can u include the chiropractor issues, kill 2 birds with one stone?

    A year back when I was down in the dumps and feeling sorry for myself I went on a few dates with this guy that had 2 teenage girls. I asked him for proof that he paid and was current in his support payments .

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    • #17
      Originally posted by ensorcelled View Post
      Not encouraging, but I just pay for sh!t and don't ask my ex for reimbursement anymore. It's not worth the headache. I've been asking him for his benefits coverage for over 3 years now to no avail. I just let it gooooo and pay myself.
      I wish I could do that, but I am not there yet financially. If I knew now, what I knew then I would have NEVER stayed home with my kids.

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      • #18
        Ex refusing to pay for braces

        Word of advice, dont be slinging shit about his income, his spouses income, how much money they spend, where they go or what they say on facebook. Its all IRRELEVANT. Stick to the facts:

        1. Kid needs braces
        2. Braces are a medical expense
        3. His portion is 70% of the net cost

        You should also figure out what the tax deduction is on them and then break down the cost. That means calculate the annual cost and pop it into your taxes this year and then take it out. Whatever the difference in your return is the tax deduction to come off the cost. Then you figure out his percentage.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by kate331 View Post
          I wish I could do that, but I am not there yet financially. If I knew now, what I knew then I would have NEVER stayed home with my kids.
          See..I wish I had! I would have loved to spend those special years with them but alas it wasn't in the cards. You sound incredibly smart and savvy so I'm sure you'll be making $$$ soon!

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          • #20
            Originally posted by kcurtis72 View Post
            As it stands now he would be responsible for paying 67.8% and I would pay 32.2%. He is also claiming that he is not in a position to be able to afford to pay for them (he makes $105k/year and his spouse makes $60k per year
            So first of all his new spouse is not responsible for paying for your child's teeth or anything for that matter. Unless there is an arrangement to do so.

            Second - If he makes $105/year and you are covering 32%...it sounds like you are taking in about the $30-35K bracket. You don't mention spousal support but I assume you do take that along with child support. With all numbers, calculated approx of course, you both should be netting about $55-60/year. In short you BOTH take in the same amount of money..... I know because those numbers are similar to me. My ex only need pay 29% of costs....but yet we net the same. hmmmm? I smell some Kim Cambell....

            Now you can force him through court to pay....which will take more money from the kids...because he has to pay a lawyer, and money does not grow on trees. Di you know his current debt load? Did you take it to him in court? Crush him like most women?

            My kids come first....I have no savings....I barely cover expenses...and have a 3 bed 1100 sq home. If my daughter or son needs braces...the answer is no. Unless I dip into their RESP fund.....and that is not right. Bottom line is you have no idea about your exs financial situation. How much did he lose in the separation? What is his current debt load?

            Originally posted by kcurtis72 View Post
            - they travel to Disney to participate in marathons 4-5 times per year).
            Sounds like his spouse is paying for the entire thing....no way he can cover that with the "debt bondage" he has to pay you.... His work pays him $105K/yr but you know he does not keep that.... the law says he is indebted to you and he must pay you.

            Originally posted by kcurtis72 View Post
            Can he really block our daughter from getting braces?
            Does not sound like he is blocking anyone. If he said, "I have the money and no I will not pay." Then yes, he is blocking. Is he saying this?

            Sounds to me like he has not the money. I would need to know more about his financial debt, outside of your own legal "debt bondage" you have on him.

            Just an idea....maybe you could take the same schooling your ex has and earn the same pay as he. That 3-5 years....your daughter will still be young and you would eliminate the debt bondage for your ex to properly spend money on your kids, save for the future of your kids and maybe even have a better relationship with you.

            End the debt bondage first.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Newfie76 View Post
              So first of all his new spouse is not responsible for paying for your child's teeth or anything for that matter. Unless there is an arrangement to do so.



              Second - If he makes $105/year and you are covering 32%...it sounds like you are taking in about the $30-35K bracket. You don't mention spousal support but I assume you do take that along with child support. With all numbers, calculated approx of course, you both should be netting about $55-60/year. In short you BOTH take in the same amount of money..... I know because those numbers are similar to me. My ex only need pay 29% of costs....but yet we net the same. hmmmm? I smell some Kim Cambell....



              Now you can force him through court to pay....which will take more money from the kids...because he has to pay a lawyer, and money does not grow on trees. Di you know his current debt load? Did you take it to him in court? Crush him like most women?



              My kids come first....I have no savings....I barely cover expenses...and have a 3 bed 1100 sq home. If my daughter or son needs braces...the answer is no. Unless I dip into their RESP fund.....and that is not right. Bottom line is you have no idea about your exs financial situation. How much did he lose in the separation? What is his current debt load?





              Sounds like his spouse is paying for the entire thing....no way he can cover that with the "debt bondage" he has to pay you.... His work pays him $105K/yr but you know he does not keep that.... the law says he is indebted to you and he must pay you.





              Does not sound like he is blocking anyone. If he said, "I have the money and no I will not pay." Then yes, he is blocking. Is he saying this?



              Sounds to me like he has not the money. I would need to know more about his financial debt, outside of your own legal "debt bondage" you have on him.



              Just an idea....maybe you could take the same schooling your ex has and earn the same pay as he. That 3-5 years....your daughter will still be young and you would eliminate the debt bondage for your ex to properly spend money on your kids, save for the future of your kids and maybe even have a better relationship with you.



              End the debt bondage first.


              Lol wow... projection much?

              Braces are a medical expense, he doesn’t have a choice and either do you if it comes to that with your children. I would take him to court, he would be ordered to pay for braces and court costs for being a jerk about it. Sad you would deny your child braces so you don’t have to dip into your rrsp. Can clearly see where your priorities are


              Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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              • #22
                What a loser. Anyone who has kids who doesn't step-up-to-the plate and pay for kids braces should be ashamed. SOMEONE pay it and then duke it out in court. This should be a non-issue. Disgraceful that people would prefer to spend money on a lawyer over paying for their kids braces... pump gas... work at McDonalds.... whatever.

                It's not like taxpayers aren't giving parents enough money already each and every month?

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by arabian View Post
                  What a loser. Anyone who has kids who doesn't step-up-to-the plate and pay for kids braces should be ashamed. SOMEONE pay it and then duke it out in court. This should be a non-issue. Disgraceful that people would prefer to spend money on a lawyer over paying for their kids braces... pump gas... work at McDonalds.... whatever.

                  It's not like taxpayers aren't giving parents enough money already each and every month?

                  As I stated in my post...does anyone know what this mans debt load is? Because like most men that go through divorce court (unlike women; statistically proven) they have NO MONEY LEFT to pay for anything!!!! Get it!

                  Now if some uneducated high on her horse women wants to try and squeeze blood from a turnip...they can hire a lawyer (because they generally have more equity after divorce than a man)...and go for more money...but what this does (again statistically proven) leaves a man two options 1) bankruptcy or 2) dip into the kids resp (if they have one) which directly hurts the children's future. But what does a woman care...as long as she does not have to pay for her child's health or education she is happy. Stats are coming out more and more regarding men's suicide due to this same behavior from women....but again what does a woman care...they think a man does not belong in a child life. shameful a women would say she will not pay for her child teeth...its the job of the man. shameful.

                  I myself...have taken on two jobs to "try" and give my kids something. They have an RESP (small but something), I can't take them on vacations anymore but I do pay for some sports activities. If my ex demanded I pay for braces...I have no where to turn. There is no more money...two jobs....most goes to my ex. Like most women who receive money from a "debt bonded" ex husband, she has zero incentive to work and contribute equal financial part in the raising of her kids.

                  Really....what kind of person assumes a father would NOT want to pay for a child's teeth? really....only a monster. Its embarrassing to say you have no money when you work a good job...but when you look at the bigger picture...I myself pay my ex approx $47K gross a year....I have no money to even fix my car....started busing last week. So...dear judge...how would you like the fathers out there to pay for teeth...when we already have paid for a second house for the ex, a second car for the ex, clothing for the ex, makeup for the ex, jewelry for the ex, 3 vacations in 5 months for the ex and etc.... how exactly?

                  Simple math is the answer...and then they wonder why women are not getting top paid positions....gesss

                  From the last two posts....shameful.

                  My father pull his own teeth out for me, as I would for my own kids if I knew it would help....may have to....cause I HAVE NO MONEY...and my ex has. So who is the bad person?

                  frustrating when the answer is black and white. Logic is not a common denominator is it ladies?

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                    Lol wow... projection much?

                    Braces are a medical expense, he doesn’t have a choice and either do you if it comes to that with your children. I would take him to court, he would be ordered to pay for braces and court costs for being a jerk about it. Sad you would deny your child braces so you don’t have to dip into your rrsp. Can clearly see where your priorities are


                    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                    I said the kids RESP (Registered Educational Savings Plan) not RRSP. Whats a RRSP? You have one of those? I don't....as I said when I have money...my kids come first.

                    Shame you would take your kids father to court to try and take more of your kids money away from them....

                    Is that the goal of most women....to try and "make" it look like the Dad "won't" pay vs "Can't pay"? That's a dirty trick!!!

                    You know what happens to most kids fathers that get beaten up so bad they have no where to turn? You should research that one....

                    Shameful most women feel they are entitled to control men as they please. Just because the law say you can does NOT make it morally or ethically right.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by arabian View Post

                      It's not like taxpayers aren't giving parents enough money already each and every month?
                      Really? you do realize that the payor of child support payments has their "Truedoe Baby Bonus" calculated on their gross income prior to paying any support.... simple math states the bonus for most fathers is very little. And in the case of this father in the original post....he lives with a new spouse...ironically the money goes to her...as the woman of the household, eve though their not her kids. He will not get to see it...unless she is nice. But not to worry...at $105K/yr....its not very much.

                      However, the mother on the other hand...with a "Truedoe Baby Bonus" calculated before support....would get a very handsome payout.... Now correct me if I am wrong...but is this money not suppose to go toward the welfare of the kids? So would this not include teeth? Shameful...the government supports all of this BS.

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Newfie76 View Post
                        I said the kids RESP (Registered Educational Savings Plan) not RRSP. Whats a RRSP? You have one of those? I don't....as I said when I have money...my kids come first.



                        Shame you would take your kids father to court to try and take more of your kids money away from them....



                        Is that the goal of most women....to try and "make" it look like the Dad "won't" pay vs "Can't pay"? That's a dirty trick!!!



                        You know what happens to most kids fathers that get beaten up so bad they have no where to turn? You should research that one....



                        Shameful most women feel they are entitled to control men as they please. Just because the law say you can does NOT make it morally or ethically right.


                        Good assumption on your part! But you’re wrong... I’m actually with my child’s father but he does have two children from his first marriage and guess what... he pays CS every single month and a really good chunk... come July his CS is doubling because of what he made in 2016... guess what else! His son needs braces! Guess what else! He doesn’t have a choice but to pay! Guess what else! That means we cut back on what we can in order to make sure his son can get braces. BECAUSE THATS WHAT PARENTS DO!

                        So assume what you want, but you’re wrong. A parent doesn’t have a choice but to pay for medical needs, just like they have to pay for post secondary. Should have planned your life better


                        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Newfie76 View Post
                          Really? you do realize that the payor of child support payments has their "Truedoe Baby Bonus" calculated on their gross income prior to paying any support.... simple math states the bonus for most fathers is very little. And in the case of this father in the original post....he lives with a new spouse...ironically the money goes to her...as the woman of the household, eve though their not her kids. He will not get to see it...unless she is nice. But not to worry...at $105K/yr....its not very much.



                          However, the mother on the other hand...with a "Truedoe Baby Bonus" calculated before support....would get a very handsome payout.... Now correct me if I am wrong...but is this money not suppose to go toward the welfare of the kids? So would this not include teeth? Shameful...the government supports all of this BS.


                          I truly hope you do not have a daughter because you clearly have a negative view towards woman. I will agree the baby bonus isn’t much but who cares? I don’t expect anyone else to support my children other than their mother and father.

                          It’s funny how you spew all this crap about men but I have to wonder where you stand on deadbeat fathers who don’t support their children? Although I can assume (like you do) that you will place all the blame on mothers. It’s the mothers who force these dead beat fathers to be dead beats right?


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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                            I truly hope you do not have a daughter because you clearly have a negative view towards woman.
                            Yes I do....she is my everything. I hope I can guide her to be a true independent woman who does not need a man to survive. I only have a negative view toward "deadbeat mothers" that can only get through life by having a man indebted to them for life; providing them a source of income and a means to financial support their lives that without would leave most women the inability to actually care for their children.

                            Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                            I will agree the baby bonus isnÂ’t much but who cares? I donÂ’t expect anyone else to support my children other than their mother and father.
                            Not much? You must be voting Liberal. I receive very little due to my before tax and before CS payments.....however my ex receives near the $9000/yr mark with 50/50 custody. hmmmmm? You don't expect anyone else to support children other than their mother and father? I think every tax payer is already supporting every dead beat mother out there with the "TrueDoe Baby Bonus"....thats your tax dollars. Some deadbeat mothers receive the maximum which is near $15,000 a year.....

                            Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                            ItÂ’s funny how you spew all this crap about men but I have to wonder where you stand on deadbeat fathers who donÂ’t support their children? Although I can assume (like you do) that you will place all the blame on mothers. ItÂ’s the mothers who force these dead beat fathers to be dead beats right?
                            Well that's easy! I have no place for any deadbeat parent. One that lives of another whether that be forced through law or runs from their responsibilities as a parent. They are all equal!! garbage.

                            Currently, there are 72.9% of women receiving the amount of CS they are suppose to. The other 27.1% are either receiving a portion of CS or non-at all. This is really where I get angry....A court will always award (a bondage award) for a mother without fully looking at weather a man can actually pay the amount or not. They just don't care....just pay it. This is just cruelty...and some men fall into the deadbeat dad category without a fighting chance....Some judges are harder than others....Some men resort to suicide...due to severe depression.

                            I still send the bi-weekly payments in full as any modern day salve should to their master (debt bondage) on time every time. And as long as they dont increase I will always send them. I don't support it...but I do it. The law says I must continue to support my ex wife and her lifestyle....the law says she does not need to work and can spend that money as she pleases (3 vacations in 4 months to the Caribbean with no kids)...The law "uses" the "children" as a means to provide support for all deadbeat women. Women should really stop hiding behind their children.....Shameful...


                            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk[/QUOTE]

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                              come July his CS is doubling because of what he made in 2016... guess what else! His son needs braces! Guess what else! He doesn’t have a choice but to pay! Guess what else! That means we cut back on what we can in order to make sure his son can get braces. BECAUSE THATS WHAT PARENTS DO!
                              Soooo you assume that because "your man" makes good money....that all men must make the same good money? I HAVE NO MONEY....I give ALL my disposal income to my ex wife. I eat only can food....no fresh fruit or vegetables...only can for me......then have to explain to my kids as they eat some better food why daddy eats something different. They already know that daddy has no money...

                              By the way...I am a single father...I dont have someone helping me pay the mortgage, heat, light etc.... I assume you help your husband with those things?

                              Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                              So assume what you want, but you’re wrong. A parent doesn’t have a choice but to pay for medical needs, just like they have to pay for post secondary. Should have planned your life better.
                              Yes I know....our shotty law says this.....cant wait till I am in front of a judge again....cant wait.... where is the money coming from? I have no idea. 2 jobs aint cutting it. But yet the deadbeat mother is allowed to stay at home while I pay her mortgage, food, vacations etc....

                              yes I should have never gotten married...better planning... MGTOW

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                              • #30
                                I don't know your situation, but obviously you are quite bitter about it because it seems unfair. Do you not have 50-50? Does your ex work or have an income imputed to her?


                                CS tables are about 10% of income, and s7 could add a few % more to that. It's entirely within reason to be paying 15%-20% of your income to support your children. If it's going higher than that, something is wrong with YOUR situation, not the system itself.


                                As for the matter at hand, I suspect the father knows full well the mother will pay it even if he doesn't contribute. So he doesn't feel like he's denying his child, he feels like he's denying the mother. He needs to realize that if the mom has to pay 100% of the braces expense, other parts of the child's life are going to suffer, because now she can't afford an activity, or better food, etc.


                                Just send him notice that braces are an automatic s7 expense, and if he won't pay his share voluntarily, she'll take him to court where she'll likely win. If that doesn't win, the child gets to hear that there'll be no gymnastics or hockey or dance anymore.

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