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  • #16
    I could be way off base but if the two of you have had a rocky relationship lately with talks of breaking up and then staying together, perhaps they just don't want to burn their bridges in case the two of you were to patch things up. It could be awkward if they "trash talk" and then you two are a couple again. Don't know if this is the case, just trying to think of a different perspective.

    At any rate, I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time now and hope things get better.

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    • #17
      Divorce is all about learning (over and over) that you can't control what other people do, and that includes your family and friends. If you let yourself fixate too much on their behavior and how betrayed you feel, you're in danger of "Golluming out", as mcdreamy puts it.

      But even though you can't stop them from associating with your ex, you can decide how YOU are going to respond to this situation. Maybe it's time to distance yourself from the people who continue to make him welcome.

      I can say from experience that people act really weirdly around divorce. I was dropped abruptly by a couple of close friends around the time I split with ex - very hurt by it at the time, but have now learned that those couples were having problems themselves and my divorce was just too close to home for them.

      I can also sympathize with the position of divorcing someone who is the "golden boy" on the outside, but a nutbar on the inside. You don't want to drag your dirty laundry all over town, but you also wish people had some idea of what this person was really like.

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      • #18
        Thank you. It's all very helpful.

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        • #19
          PeacefulMoments - no talk of getting back together. Although we were able to spend family time together the first 9 months of the separation with little to no drama. The shit hit the fan when I pressed for an agreement this past Fall. It's been dramatic, tense and all around shitty for everyone since then.

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