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Parenting going on vacation but has not given me return flight info

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  • Parenting going on vacation but has not given me return flight info

    So my my ex told me last week she is taking 6 year old to ontario to visit family. She sent me way of email last week the flights to go there. However, she hasn't responded when I asked about return flights and has not provided any.

    She is to leave this Sunday. Should I be handing over my son even though I have do not know when he is coming back. Our court order states we only have 7 days for vacation. She said she will take him for 13 days. But it depends on how she feels, she could extend it as well.

    My friend said I shouldn't give him to her till I get the actual flights back and see it. We are in Alberta.

  • #2
    One would think that she had return flight booked or she would have to pay pretty steep cost would she not? Did you get a copy of the ticket?

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    • #3
      See this is exactly why I can't stand parents sometimes. They love this last minute BS .. oh your visits being cancelled , oh I have signed up the child in Karate and you have to pay and take child during your parenting times, oh child is in daycare now and you have to pay, oh I took the child to the other side of the country yesterday for vacation for the next 6 months.

      what does your order say about travel ?

      The mere fact that she wants to take child for 13 days when order only allows for 7 days is troublesome. If you deny access, she may file contempt motion against you, but you may be able to argue that she intended to take child on travel without travel information and for longer than what the court order allows. To be smart about it, you ask for the information, you say no until you get it. If she takes child, then you file a motion to find her in contempt, and trust me, she won't attempt something like that again after that.
      Last edited by trinton; 08-31-2017, 03:14 PM.

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      • #4
        I only have copies of the ticket for departure. No return. It was just one way. Okay, that's what I was thinking as well. I don't want to ruin his visit with his family...however, I also want her to follow the rules.

        Thank you,

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        • #5
          without a return ticket I would assume kid isn't coming back... sorry. No misinterpretation here. When was the one-way purchased... how much?

          I don't recall your specific situation, however, I would object vehemently about this (not that purchase of a return ticket guarantees a child's return).

          Your order is specific - 7 days. Unless there is proof of a return ticket I wouldn't approve.

          I don't want to be an alarmist but ....

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          • #6
            Also... Sept 3 is a strange time to start a vacation for a 6-year old (grade 1).

            School starts on Tuesday does it not?

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            • #7
              You need a plan if they don't return. Know your next steps.

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              • #8
                I was going to respond, what is the big deal if trip longer than 7 days and you dont have the return date, unless you are worried not going to come back.

                But then reading the rest , it seems there are lots of red flags.

                a 1 way ticket
                saying she might stay longer, depends how she feels
                refused return information despite a request
                odd to take a 2 week vacation right when school begins if no significant reason, such as a wedding or something like that.

                If it was me, I'd be worried parent was not planning on returning.

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                • #9
                  Is this child not starting school? I know a lot of parents pull their children out of school for trips but this seems excessive. Does this trip cut into your parenting time? Has she said what the trip is for? What does your agreement say along the lines of what is required to travel?

                  My first reaction is how wonderful the trip could be for the child but then reading the details the first red flag that comes up is that the child is being moved to a different school/province.

                  Do you know this family she is going to visit? Where they live etc? I would for sure get this info before consenting to travel. I don't know that you can actually not give the child over if it's her parenting time but I would be emailing and documenting your refusal for travel until all details are provided.


                  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                  • #10
                    I'd check with the school your child is supposed to be attending and see if he is even registered. No need to make a big deal about it - just call and ask if there is a supply list or fees to be paid.

                    I've never heard of someone denying their child the excitement and anticipation of first day of school/grade 1.

                    Have you been asked to contribute to school supplies or registration fees? Presumably there are those things for children entering grade one?

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                    • #11
                      This very much sounds like she's fleeing. In a courtroom, I believe you would have enough to convince a judge that your concerns are valid. Do not hand the child over until you have documented details of their return. I'm also curious about school.

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                      • #12
                        I wouldn't be too concerned with her fleeing. She'll be in Canada and nowhere far. Your concerns are valid but you still haven't told us what your order says. It is usually something along lines of,
                        must inform you 30 days before travel, must give you full itinerary, can't be more than 7 days, etc.

                        If she doesn't comply with the order, and you don't agree with the travel, and if she flees and takes longer than 7 days then you motion to find her in contempt so it doesn't happen again, or if she doesn't return at all, then you file an emergency motion and bring her back with the assistance of the Police/Cas.

                        If she wants to flee, she will flee, if you keep the child and don't return her, you would still have to return at some point, at which point she could still flee. She could also file a motion to find you in contempt for denying access - highly doubt you would be found in contempt - but she would be given makeup access.

                        I had to travel before, and sometimes you just don't know when you will return and will want to stay longer than 7 days, it doesn't mean you won't come back, it just means you don't have that information yet.

                        I personally would let her go, and if she screws up, then I will use that as an opportunity to vigorously seek sole custody and limit her access.
                        Last edited by trinton; 09-01-2017, 11:09 AM.

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                        • #13
                          Questions to ask yourself:

                          1. Is the travel outside the country?
                          2. If yes, which country? (Ones that should be an automatic NO: Japan, Brazil, Eastern Europe (Poland, etc...), Middle East, etc...)

                          Ultimately, it is very hard to "abduct" a child within the borders of Canada. The CND courts will return children to their habitual residential location if you don't wait 6+ months to take something to court to dispute it.

                          Good Luck!
                          Tayken

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                          • #14
                            What was the outcome of this? Did the child end up going?


                            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                            • #15
                              I let him go on the vacation in trying to think what's best for him. She booked the return flight 3 days ago and flew back home last night at 11PM. So I am relieved that he came back.

                              My concern was she had mentioned previously she that wanted to move to Ontario, but she came home. That is a relief that there is was intention of moving him there this time.

                              Is it unreasonable next time to ask for a full itinerary including to and return flights in a court order? This is not the first time she went on vacation is and arbitrarily decides on when she comes back even though the order states only 7 days? There's nothing I can do about that right outside of saying follow the order?

                              Yes, thats good to know that it's hard to abduct within Canada!

                              I completely agree that missing the first week of Grade 1 makes no sense...but this is what I have to deal with. So just have to make sure we do homework for him to catch up.
                              thank you all for your responses.
                              Last edited by FirstTimer; 09-11-2017, 01:48 PM.

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