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  • #16
    As usual there is absolutely nothing wrong with your behavour or attitude, and there is nothing you need to change. Same story, different year.

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    • #17
      To get back on track here,
      Quebec newlywed furious she can't take her husband?s name

      Also in Quebec it is not rare for a child to have both parents surname's plus a longer name for example:

      Mary-Josee or Jean-Baptiste, imagine adding both parents surnames on top of that. I feel sorry for the teacher's when doing roll-call .... takes a couple of hours.
      Jean-Baptiste Desjardins-Filialtrault JR lol! present and accounted for.

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      • #18
        When as many men take their wife's name as women take their husband's name, then we won't need feminism anymore.

        When a man can murder a man for making a sexual advance that didn't involve physical contact and invoke the gay panic defence, but a woman gets brutally raped by a man and isn't allowed to have an abortion and the man gets off easy because being convicted would ruin his life, we still need feminism.

        When 50-50 custody is automatic without a fight, we won't need feminism anymore.

        When there are as many shelters for male victims of domestic violence as there are for women, we won't need feminism any more.

        Feminism is not a cult, nor does it involve brainwashing, though of course there can always be extremists. Just because it ends in 'ism' doesn't make it bad.

        And I still maintain that the taking of a husband's name involves subservience. Not to the husband, but to the continuing patriarchal mentality that normalizes it.

        I have no idea if there is research about it, but I would guess that there are probably correlations between women who take their husband's name and women who give up their jobs to be stay at home moms, or other, similar behaviours. That may even be linked to the income differential mentioned.
        Last edited by Rioe; 01-18-2014, 08:25 PM.

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        • #19
          ^^ No freedom til we are equal. Damn right I support it.^^
          [Macklemore and Ryan Lewis song, Same Love]

          Although we are all entitled to an opinion, when one person is continuously framing their opinion as a negative stereotype, I’d like to think the rest of society would use their voices and speak out against.


          eta: I should add, I changed my name. My maiden name is French and was consistently mangled here in Canada. I looked forward to a 'plain jane Canadian name'.
          Last edited by mcdreamy; 01-18-2014, 08:47 PM. Reason: eta: add
          Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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          • #20
            ''When 50-50 custody is automatic without a fight, we won't need feminism anymore.''

            Absolutely! I can't understand why this is still an issue nowadays? Equal parenting time should be mandatory - iron out the $$$ problems between the lawyers, shared custody should be a basic right of all parents regardless.

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            • #21
              I'm 57. Half of my friends changed their names when they got married. Interestingly my in-laws didn't seem to mind that I didn't change my name but my mother was a tad upset at the time. Through the marriage my ex used to use my name for dinner reservations and other things as it was just plain easier. His name is very difficult to pronounce unless you speak Polish. Schools referred to me as Mrs. XXX and I certainly didn't object as I realized it likely made things simpler.

              One time when I applied for a passport I remember having a struggle with the passport office. They refused to put the passport in my surname (maiden name) as my health care card had my husband's surname first on the health care card. I backed down and let them hyphenate my name. Next time I went to get my drivers license they too insisted on hyphenating my name. Totally ridiculous.

              When I got divorced and my license was up for renewal I felt a great sigh of relief to have my name back on my license. I also enjoyed getting some cheques printed up with Miss XX XX. I really like the "Miss" and enjoy checking it off on various forms. Kind of makes me giddy at times.

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              • #22
                Just like Racism, religious bias and other forms of discrimination........progress has been made, but we won't see full eradication in our lifetime. Why isn't there shared custody by default? That is the question that the fathers who are having to fight for some access time are asking the courts and the public

                However....we have read all sort of stories on here and in the news, of lengths some people have gone to deny the other parent even EOW access...perhaps that root cause of the problem should be addressed first, and everything will take care of itself?

                In my professional life, I preach zero tolerance at any form of discrimination, and the staff pretty much know that this is taken seriously. A lot of people were happy to see the same level of fitness test for both gender, instead of different ones for both genders...especially when the pay for both gender is the same.

                So getting worked up over a name change...I particularly don't care . Now moving forward having been around the block once, I do care if a potential partner is not earning close to / or same as me...it's all in the name of equality isn't it? After all if things go awry, it's split 50/50 or at least that is what the person who doesn't bring that equality expects.

                @ Arabian.....

                Eastern European last names have always seems to be difficult for folks in North America to pronounce I find, this is not the case in most of Europe due to the regular interaction either through travels or migration.

                I mean for crying out loud, a lot of Western European names get murdered to on this side of the pond.

                I speak French amongst other languages, and the folks I know from when I lived in the province of Quebec or back in Europe, have minimum 3 middle names, and these initials always get put down on paper. Arabs, Asians and Africans also have a lot of middle names
                Last edited by FWB; 01-18-2014, 10:02 PM.

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