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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 10-30-2016, 01:16 AM
trinton trinton is offline
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Default school meetings

Just curious, do you meet with school teachers, etc with the other parent? is there any point to this? or no?

would you rather meet with school staff on your own or with other parent present ?
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Old 10-30-2016, 01:24 AM
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In the past I did it alone but because ex refused to attend. Now we go together. I think it is best together because you both can ask/ tell things because the child has different rules at each house and that also helps for "cooperation" with your ex which sometimes may be important for the future.
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Old 10-30-2016, 10:14 AM
hopefull hopefull is offline
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...OP, on first day of school or other times, you can let the class teacher know or have office staff pass on the info to the teacher, that kid/s spend every other week at each parents' place.

Teacher will then send home duplicates of docs. You are not obligated to be there at the same time as the other parent, and can arrange your own meeting with teacher to learn about the progress of kid/s.
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Old 10-30-2016, 10:59 AM
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blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
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We email the teachers at the beginning of the year to let them know the kids have 2 homes as well as the schedule and ask to make sure copies if everything, whether email or paper are sent in duplicate, also to let us know when stuff is sent with kids as it doesn't always get to us. We meet with the teachers separately because the other parent has a habit of creating conflict, being overbearing, trying to speak for both parents and take over the meetings. Pretty much the only way to get a word in edgewise is to meet seperately.
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Old 10-30-2016, 11:33 AM
FirstTimer FirstTimer is offline
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We told the school that parents are separated and now we have separate logins.

We do parent teacher nights separately. We are high conflict. Obviously if you can go together that would be the best but ultimately that doesn't always happen but what both parents should do is work with the teacher to make sure if there are issues everyone is on the same page regarding steps to help this child so that he doesn't get confused.,

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Old 11-16-2016, 01:10 AM
Robinm Robinm is offline
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We alternate weeks. I found that the school may or may not know how to deal with having a child in two homes so you have to educate some ignorant people...very surprising given the divorce rate, but bias still exists. People assume one mom, one dad, one home etc.

But, to answer the question, I like doing separate meetings with the teachers because my ex speaks only in French even though she is bilingual, I can speak only English and the kid's school is French...the teachers are usually bilingual (grade 8), but in grade school some were not. My ex also tries to talk over me so rather than have a conflict, I would rather the teachers got to know me, not the poor relationship. It is also better in case you need a reference for court, ocl etc... this way, you can build a positive relationship with your kid's teachers on your own terms. Also, we do share the teacher's feedback so that we are on the same page with the kid. The school does prepare double copies of the report cards and has separate web accounts so that helps logistically.
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Old 11-16-2016, 11:29 AM
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LovingFather32 LovingFather32 is offline
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I have one tomorrow night with my ex for D5. I think it all depends on how high conflict your relationship is with your ex. In my opinion both parents need to cool their jets and get through the meeting together. Do it for the kids.

Having said that, I work on the schoolboard and have been involved in many meetings where separated parents engage in the "blame game" during the meeting which gets very awkward.
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Old 11-17-2016, 08:40 PM
Links17 Links17 is offline
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My kids are so good teachers ask us not to come in.

Otherwise I have done both ways, it's a good annual reminder what a lunatic imbecile my ex wife is.
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