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  • Kids starting to act out

    I have two daughters ages 3 and 5.

    They are starting to act out in day care / school, mostly issues in dealings between other kids like not being nice, being bossy. My five year old has a friend that she has been separated with at school since they act out together.

    Overall I think they are relatively well behaved, maybe a little high strung / aggressive in general. They do argue and bicker with each other.

    I want to nip this in the bud before it gets any worse.

    Any recommendations for good books on the topic or other resources?

  • #2
    Hi there,

    I work with children/teens for a living, both in the school system and in their homes. I would like to provide you some behavioral advice.

    1. Take ABC data:

    A: Antecedent: What occurred just prior to the behavior in question
    B: Behavior: What was the actual behavior
    C: Consequence: What did you do about it.

    Take this data (and ask teachers to also) for several weeks. This is your "baseline data".

    No interventions or strategies should be implemented before you have this.

    The 3 most common reasons for anxiety or negative behaviors are:

    1) Attention seeking
    2) Escape/Avoidance
    3) Sensory (this is more for developmentally delayed children).

    4) Children with special needs also have considerable troubles with changes in routine and transitions (supply teachers, assemblies, etc)

    Once you have all of the antecedents' figured out then you can start putting together strategies. I obviously can't help you until I know the triggers.

    The process of "extinction" is commonly used for attention seeking behaviors. This is ignoring (no eye contact, no reaction, etc) and immediately reinforce and give heavy praise for any positive behaviors.

    I commonly use a holistic, multidimensional approach to behaviors, touching on cognitive, social and emotional aspects.

    For instance, I use an "emotional thermometer" for emotional awareness. I tailor these to the childs interests (pokemon, cars, barbie, etc). My favorite one is teh "Inside Out" movie theme. I have a child point to the emotion they're feeling and provide strategies to feel better. Having a child become aware of their emotions is VERY important. I often stop all aggression, tantrums, etc just with this.

    Also look in to "zones of regulation". There are many books/publications that tell how to use this program. Children relate emotions to colors and have toolboxes to deal with each emotion. I make use of this program quite often also.

    Be sure the behaviors arn't triggered by social interactions, especially during recess. (you'll get this info with your ABC data). Try social scripting techniques ("i.e - what would you do if you're playing tag and somebody pushes you down"? What would you do if you're being teased"...etc). Do some role playing where you're the other party and have the child act out appropriate responses.

    Probably the most significant thing you can do is "positive reinforcement". Be sure you're reinforcing positive behaviors.

    I'm VERY big on reward systems. Pick 2-3 target behaviors and reinforce them on a "reinforcement schedule".

    For instance I have a child at school attacking older students at recess, throws chairs in the classroom and kicks the smaller kids in the hallways.

    I set up a token economy chart whereby he received a token every 15 mins that he DIDN'T exhibit the aggression. After 4 tokens he gets 10 mins on the ipad, etc. After a week all of the child's behaviors were extinuished and I faded the token economy, replacing it with high fives, etc.

    Never take away tokens. If he doesn't do well he simply "doesn't earn them".

    I give parent lectures on this stuff and have been doing it for well over 15 years.

    P.S: Check out "Mind Masters". Mindfulness is HUGE in schools and emotional regulation programs now!!

    I wish you all the best,

    LF32
    Last edited by LovingFather32; 05-01-2017, 06:50 PM.

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    • #3
      Wow you're the man....how do we hire you.

      Comment


      • #4
        I can give you my info. lol

        I work on the schoolboards and in family's homes all the time. :-)

        Comment


        • #5
          Great advice, thank you!

          Comment

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