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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 08-19-2021, 11:31 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Default Disclosure of non-existent assets

As many of you know, my ex is certifiably looney tunes which plays a large part in why, 10 years later litigation is ongoing with no issues resolved and no trial or arb date occurring due to an obscene allowance of continual delays. This latest not very carefully crafted ploy to stall does really take the cake. We were married and living together for close to 13 years and during that time I only worked casually through an agency so I could be flexible with my time to accommodate the children’s needs. After separation I got a full time permanent job to support myself and the kids.

My ex now alleges that I accumulated a huge pension worth hundreds of thousands of dollars while married which I am hiding. There is no pension and never was. He has gotten the arb date adjourned again so that my non-existent pension can be valued. I called the pension company and they confirmed that there is no pension but cannot put that into writing unless a voluminous amount of paperwork is filled out. I am in the process of filling out said paperwork which apparently isn’t fast enough for my ex. He got an order today that is so ludicrous I was doubled over, killing myself laughing.

The order reads that if I haven’t submitted the paperwork by x date he can bring a motion requesting an award to obtain the valuation of my non-existent pension without my consent.
I immediately contacted my lawyer and begged him to please tell them they don’t need to bring a motion, I will happily and voluntarily dispense with my consent so he can proceed by himself on this wild goose chase.
I think the arbitrator made that order to try to intimidate me into hurrying up and complying but it had the opposite effect. I didn’t realize that it was an option and now that I do, I love it! LOL
If I comply or don’t comply it doesn’t change the fact the pension does not exist, the value is zero and both my ex and his lawyer come out looking like the dullest knives in the drawer.

It is however absolutely insane that the arbitrator allows things to be stalled for the valuation of non-existent assets. If my ex makes up any more nonsense like a valuation of my non-existent Cayman Island bank account and the arbitrator allows another delay I will seek to have him removed!

Has anybody else come across this level of insanity? My lawyer says we are definitely asking for costs when the valuation comes in at zero.
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  #2  
Old 08-26-2021, 11:23 AM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Clearly there is no cap on spend in the arbitration agreement. If you stated that there is no pension and they go through all this nonsense just to confirm that you were telling the truth... seek massive costs. The only way you can be punished for this nonsense in my humble opinion is if you were indeed hiding a massive pension.

This is just nonsense stuff that high-conflict litigants and their negative advocate lawyers pull all the time. The arbitrator is just making money hand-over-fist by allowing this nonsense to continue.
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Old 08-26-2021, 08:50 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Unfortunately I allowed my previous lawyer to talk me into trying med/arb because we were getting nowhere after several years in court, without a trial date on the horizon because my ex’s lawyer said it would be a 20 days trial which the judge was not willing to entertain( my lawyer said it would be 5 days). My lawyer also told me if I agreed to med/arb then our matter could be over and dealt with within 3 months. Well, we are going into the 4th year of med/arb, so that was a lie!
We completed the obligatory mediation session early on because I pushed for it and wanted that over with so that we could go to binding arbitration. That was a complete and total waste of time as the other side arrived totally unprepared with no documentation or briefs. Nothing. Notta. Zip.
They didn’t even have a financial statement or a position paper! The arbitrator and my lawyer couldn’t believe my ex’s lawyer had the nerve to show up for mediation so wholeheartedly unprepared. My ex is so far removed from reality he asked for sole custody of the children and that I pay him child support while he himself had supervised access for the past 6+ years and at that time had refused to exercise his access for the past 21/2years to show the court he didn’t need supervised access. Needless to say, his strategy did not work and we did not settle on anything.

His lawyer then used various delay tactics to stall setting an arbitration date. Once the arbitration date was finally set, they used the ongoing Covid pandemic to adjourn time after time after time.
My lawyer had also said that med/arb would save me money. That has also proved to be incorrect.

I am now stuck in a revolving door arbitration hell and have been told by my lawyer I can not get out of it and return to court as I signed a legal contract to participate in med/arb. My contract does say the arbitrator can be removed if he takes too long to actually arbitrate. This would qualify. Unfortunately we would then need to choose a new arbitrator as we still could not return to court. Hopefully my case is a horrible exception and med/arb does not routinely take more than four years of costly litigation to settle.

If my case is not an exception then shame on all the collaborative lawyers out there recommending med/arb to their clients!

Another pitfall of med/arb which I recently found out about, is that not all court orders made in court will be applicable or upheld in med/arb. I am specifically talking about the order the judge made that my lawyer would have to ask for leave of the court to abandon me as a client after they received 100,000 from the sale proceeds of the matrimonial home held in trust for legal fees. The judge made that order as we were in trial management conferences and so that my lawyer did not leave me high and dry on the eve of trial. Apparently this order no longer applies once you enter a med/arb agreement, meaning once you run out of money your lawyer can jump ship. Therefor the protection this order provides you in open family court is removed once you enter med/arb.

My ex has now had 4 different lawyers since we started med/arb and each one asks for us to try mediation again and each one asks for the arbitration date to be adjourned so they can review the file. I refuse each time to entertain mediation as there is no use but the arbitrator allows the adjournment for them to review the file
( which on the surface is reasonable but in actuality only serves to delay the proceedings).

My advice to anyone considering med/arb is to only consider it if you are on polite speaking terms with your ex and are both marginally reasonable and don’t suffer from any mental health, brain injury or addictions issues.

If your ex is high conflict or there is actual domestic violence or false allegations of domestic violence, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT LET YOUR LAWYER TALK YOU INTO MED/ARB!

Last edited by Stillbreathing; 08-26-2021 at 09:01 PM.
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Old 08-27-2021, 10:00 AM
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This will all happen in court as well. (The delays and issues.) You are dealing with a high conflict litigant.

Have you read any of the books from the High Conflict Institute (William Eddy) on High Conflict Legal Disputes?

https://www.amazon.ca/High-Conflict-...df_1936268159/

They may provide you some insight into managing the situation.
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Old 08-27-2021, 10:20 AM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Thanks Tayken.
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Old 08-27-2021, 12:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stillbreathing View Post
As many of you know, my ex is certifiably looney tunes which plays a large part in why, 10 years later litigation is ongoing with no issues resolved and no trial or arb date occurring...
Has anybody else come across this level of insanity?
Your situation is very insane, but it's not your ex. Unable to have a meaningful motion or trial in over 10 years is 100% on you. You're very bitter, offensive, insane tbd but definitely a tool.

~ Sent on behalf of the disabled community, and human decency in general.
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Old 08-27-2021, 01:05 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Stillpaying. You are incorrect. We have had motions which I have won 95% of the time. The motions however, did not really settle any issues or move the case forward. You obviously have not read my prior posts. My ex is brain damaged from an accident and is actually missing a chunk of his brain plus has extensive scar tissue on the remainder. He has also been under the care of a psychiatrist and currently, in addition to suing me, is suing his former doctor, real estate agent and lawyer. He is not mentally competent ( his present lawyer keeps suggesting to have his capacity assessed but has not followed through)and received a huge amount of money in a personal injury settlement. So the lawyers have been hovering and are more than willing to pick him clean of his money.
In addition to having assaulted our children he has assaulted his accountant and a coworker when he worked, threatened staff at Canadian Tire, broke into a Canadian Tire executive’s office to confront him, lost his license twice for road rage in addition to multiple other conflicts with police that had nothing to do with me.

The fact he requires 24/7 care for his own safety is not in dispute( it’s well documented in his personal injury lawsuit by multiple health care professionals who assessed him during that litigation) as he received a large sum of money to pay for this care. He refuses to spend the money on attendant care. He is not a well man. His story is extremely tragic and unfortunately it has spilled over to negatively affect the kids and I. If he had not had the accident we likely would have had a normal marriage and likely would still be married. He was a very different person prior to the accident and is now not even a shadow of the man I married. He lives alone in the country by himself planning who he is going to sue next. That is his life now. Very

Last edited by Stillbreathing; 08-27-2021 at 01:26 PM.
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Old 08-27-2021, 01:58 PM
StillPaying StillPaying is offline
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Not questioning his disability; there's nothing wrong with that. Still a functioning member of society with the same rights. I wonder if his attitude would change not having to constantly deal with a bully.
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Old 08-29-2021, 06:45 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StillPaying View Post
Not questioning his disability; there's nothing wrong with that. Still a functioning member of society with the same rights. I wonder if his attitude would change not having to constantly deal with a bully.
he would not have to deal with a bully (though I cannot see how she is bullying) if he would just be prepared and get it over with.
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Old 08-30-2021, 01:06 AM
StillPaying StillPaying is offline
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Calling the disabled certifiably looney tunes is wrong. Although catastrophically injured, he still lives life fine, drives, access to kids, etc...

My situation is the exact same here. Except it was my ex fighting for years to go after my settlement, then years fighting again after settlement. Pure jealousy of attendant care and settlement she couldn't touch. The disabled "retirement" life she couldn't have.

If OP wanted trial, it could have happened already! The only way no issues are resolved in 10+ years is if both parties are ok with that. There are zero reasons for ex to delay resolution. He's the millionaire, living in woods with no worries. His income would be minimal and so would support.

The OP on the other hand is very HC. Bitter at her ex, her 5+ lawyers, the judge, the system... numerous killings and suicidal posts... she's angry but I doubt it's because of ex. I provided my ex lots of authorization letters to access anything and everything. No big deal while moving to trial! OP's story belongs on looney tunes!
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