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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 11-02-2021, 09:36 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Dont make multiple offers. Make your offer items severable. Also note that you are open to negotiation.

At this point she doesnt have a guilty of abuse decision so she has lost some weight but if difficult will continue to be a pain.

See if she responds to that offer and then negotiate. Suggest mediation as well if necessary.

Did you ever have a case conference where a judge laid out how things would go? Have you had your TMC yet?

Get your offer out ASAP.
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  #12  
Old 11-02-2021, 11:37 AM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is online now
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What is wrong with multiple offers?
People like choices and we don't know what the other party wants, we dont' know them. They may want stupid stuff like "I get to decide where kids go to summer camp"...tokens make people feel like they "won" or didn't lose as much.

High conflict and mediation.....how is that going to go? Not well but if it costs him almost nothing then OK.
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  #13  
Old 11-02-2021, 12:55 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Multiple offers up front create confusion and tracking issues. If he sends a basic offer to settle with the items he is seeking beefed up then he can wait to see what she provides. If she is just going to ignore every offer then it makes her look bad but she can also claim there were several offers and she wasnt sure what to pick.

I think you mean multiple options in an offer but again that gets confusing. His offer is to settle all matters in a reasonable way. She was holding out for a conviction which would bolster her case. She wont get a conviction but it also wasnt a not guilty decision so the whole thing is still grey.

Helenj you can also offer to use My Family Wizard for communication as judges seem to like that.
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  #14  
Old 11-02-2021, 01:44 PM
StillPaying StillPaying is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by helenj View Post
Just to make sure, I will be asking for Joint Custody/Shared Decision making. Is this a fair offer?
This may be your leverage to get more access. Allowing ex to have final say.

I would listen to your lawyer. You're 2 months away from trial and the opportunity for a motion may be over soon. To go from once a week supervised to anything else would be a big change. Plus you're going into trial as the bad guy.
Make a minimal offer for like one overnight supervised (maybe unsupervised) access per week or month. If it's denied, then a motion should be brought to accomplish this. This should get you a better outcome at trial.
Whatever your official offer is, it should be gradual with what your final wishes are, whether that's eow or 50/50.
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  #15  
Old 11-02-2021, 06:09 PM
helenj helenj is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brampton33 View Post

Your proposed parenting time is contrary to what all posters have suggested, however you know your case best. Right now you might be content with EOW because it’s better than your current situation. As you spend more time with your kids, you may regret not having 50/50 as time goes on.
Agreed, however, I have been told that no Judge will grant me 50/50 from what I have now given that it's been over 2 years since I have had supervised access.

I can make an offer for 50/50 graduating increase, but if she denies, I want to make an offer THAT WILL get granted by the Judge, which from what I'm hearing from everyone here and my lawyer is every other weekend and a mid-week visit.

My only other concern is what motive does she have to settle now as opposed to the day before trial? She can literally drag her feet the entire time.
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  #16  
Old 11-02-2021, 08:50 PM
StillPaying StillPaying is offline
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A motion for a temporary minimal increase in access would force their hand. Could save you from trial as well.
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  #17  
Old 11-03-2021, 10:41 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by helenj View Post
Agreed, however, I have been told that no Judge will grant me 50/50 from what I have now given that it's been over 2 years since I have had supervised access.

I can make an offer for 50/50 graduating increase, but if she denies, I want to make an offer THAT WILL get granted by the Judge, which from what I'm hearing from everyone here and my lawyer is every other weekend and a mid-week visit.

My only other concern is what motive does she have to settle now as opposed to the day before trial? She can literally drag her feet the entire time.
She wants to settle too I'm sure. I don't know many people who don't get tired of the constant grind that is family court.

I agree with you on the EOW + midweek access being your best shot if you want to settle out of court But EOW + 1 midweek access will not get you to the 40% threshold. Even if you split the holidays 50/50. If you're not willing and/or able to get in front of a judge and completely refute the abuse allegations- getting to 50/50 seems like a long shot. That being said- if you can shut down the abuse allegations in court- I don't know why you wouldn't go to trial and seek 50/50.

You probably know her motivations better than any of your lawyers involved...will she accept a graduated 50/50?

I don't know if I asked this before- but did you have an OCL report? Has CAS been involved?
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  #18  
Old 11-03-2021, 10:42 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StillPaying View Post
A motion for a temporary minimal increase in access would force their hand. Could save you from trial as well.
If there is a trial looming....would someone be granted a motion for increased access now? Wouldn't the court just say "wait"?
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  #19  
Old 11-03-2021, 11:10 AM
StillPaying StillPaying is offline
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It's still 2 months away with no guarantee of being seen this round.

The last motion was denied to wait for results. Results are in. Eow or 50/50 would be a trial issue. A minimal change should be accepted.
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  #20  
Old 11-03-2021, 02:42 PM
helenj helenj is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
That being said- if you can shut down the abuse allegations in court- I don't know why you wouldn't go to trial and seek 50/50.

You probably know her motivations better than any of your lawyers involved...will she accept a graduated 50/50?

I don't know if I asked this before- but did you have an OCL report? Has CAS been involved?
Hello,
1. Going to trial will cost me around $60-$90k. This is the quote i'm getting. I also do not want to self-represent. I DO want to go to trial and clear my name, but the cost is very prohibitive.

2. Neither one of us requested an OCL report. CAS was involved several times due to her allegations but files closed within a couple weeks.

3. I am able to go to a motion. In fact, the Trial scheduling conference judge allowed it despite a trial being booked. I can bring a motion to expand my time now, but I also want to save on Motion costs ($10k) and try to settle the whole issue itself.

Thanks again
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