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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 08-31-2021, 10:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Kevin12345 View Post
So the new schools principal denied their registration as it should be. What would happen if I keep the kids at my place now since school would be here and she has no option to take care of the kids? Anyone have experience in this situation? I’d keep them here for school and then send an offer for 50/50 access. Would the cops be involved? Is there anything in the new legislation mentioning a de facto custody due to having them for a year? Any advice appreciated as my lawyer is just agreeing to it.
If you have a custody and access agreement or order you still have to follow it. The other parent needs to get their stuff sorted out. Keep your nose clean of their parenting time. If you deviate from the agreement or order you will find yourself with a contempt motion which is quasi-criminal proceeding. You will loose a contempt motion if you deviate from the existing agreement or order without first going to court to petition to have it change or have the other parent consent to a new agreement.

Do not take custody and access matters into your own hands.
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  #12  
Old 08-31-2021, 10:38 AM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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If you deviate from the agreement or order you will find yourself with a contempt motion which is quasi-criminal proceeding.
Being successful in actually getting a judge to sign off on a criminal contempt motion is next to impossible. Even if a parent were to cease the other parent access in spite of a court order, the only thing a judge would do is yell at the offending parent that access is to be restored. My court order has tons of stuff included which is not followed by my ex. For example, it states that advanced notice is to be given of all medical appointments. Yet somehow I get a text when my ex is on her way to the appointment, or I hear about it afterwards. She constantly does not follow what the court order says and my lawyer simply says: "Document in case you ever need it". Family law is a joke.
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  #13  
Old 08-31-2021, 11:08 AM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is online now
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Brampton 33 both yourself and Tayken are correct. Tayken is correct in that you should still follow the order if it’s the only one you have. You should try at all times to be the party who comes to court with “clean hands “. If not you run the risk of being found in contempt, or at the very least to be acting in bad faith or coming to court with unclean hands.

Brampton 33 is correct that the bar is especially high for a judge to actually make a finding of contempt. This usually comes about by a pattern of lengthy and repeated transgressions. In other words, the party who does not follow court orders can appear to be able to get away with it for awhile before there are any consequences. The judge is slow to impose these consequences as they feel that doing so can escalate the conflict between the parties, who are expected to suddenly be civil with each other once the litigation is over. The judge’s reasoning comes from a place of good intentions but the saying “good intentions line the road to hell” sometimes rings true.

It is frustrating to witness another party get away with repeatedly breaching an order and seeming to suffer no consequences but does that mean you have to stoop to their level and withhold access? You might want to raise the bar where your own behaviour is concerned instead of lowering it to their level. If your children’s lives are in imminent danger or there is a risk of the other party absconding with the kids then by all means withhold access and file an emergency motion. If not, the court has other remedies to assist you but they require you to follow a specific process.

It’s your choice if you want to follow the high road or not.

Last edited by Stillbreathing; 08-31-2021 at 11:11 AM.
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  #14  
Old 08-31-2021, 01:13 PM
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We have been separated under a year with nothing started yet in court. ...
The ex has had the kids for the year mainly controlling the access against my will giving minimal access.
There's no order or agreement, but status quo is definitely against you. Your best bet immediately is to come to a new agreement with your ex. If it can't be done to your desire, then you need to go to court right away as these delays, and the current status, only continues to hurt your case.
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  #15  
Old 08-31-2021, 02:04 PM
Kevin12345 Kevin12345 is offline
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I’ve asked for mediation and other things but everything I’ve asked for has been ignored. She’s moved to another city even when I said no, tried to switch schools, ask to pay for daycare even though I can and have taken care of the kid in the past so there’s no chance of an agreement besides me getting the eow screw job. Case conference isn’t for few months so I’ve been told that no motions will get through unless the kids safety is at risk. Family law needs serious reform. Just a joke and charade for everyone and the kids suffer the most. Hard to trust lawyers as well. The pandemic has only worsened everything with everyone trying to take advantage of it. Aside from the rant, I hope things work for the kids in the end.

Can I change the status quo if I have a legit reason ie school?
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  #16  
Old 08-31-2021, 02:33 PM
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When my ex took off with the kids, an emergency motion quickly brought the kids back. The system is wonderful when you use it. But you have some strong feelings towards something you've never tried.

You have a lot more than just school as reasons. Don't give in if you don't want to. The system works, including more than just court. Study Taykens posts, and hopefully you'll get some Januswisdom input - maybe stealing back stolen kids isn't so bad?!
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  #17  
Old 08-31-2021, 07:51 PM
Kevin12345 Kevin12345 is offline
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So the principal just got back to me again and said she actually has all the documents and they can enrol there. Did a 180 wth. I don’t know what to do. He changed his mind last minute. I feel I’m going to get screwed with no time to put in a motion before school starts. The principal said he doesn’t want to get involved anymore. Man Im desperate for help. My lawyer is useless.
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  #18  
Old 08-31-2021, 09:25 PM
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Don't panic. Re-read Tayken posts, the answers are there. Although since you're already before the court, I would file an urgent motion instead of emergency.
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  #19  
Old 09-01-2021, 08:16 AM
arbortrail22 arbortrail22 is offline
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Agreed with all above.

You need a:

- Form 14A Affidavit (ours was written by the paralegal) requesting the urgent motion and why.
- Form 14B Motion Form with the exact specific request- kids stay at the same school.

Serve the other party today and then have a process server deliver it to the court so it is accepted the same day.

The forms will take 30 minutes.

Ask for all costs. You can't do nothing. My friend who I mentioned in a previous post did nothing and that decision haunted him for years.
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  #20  
Old 09-01-2021, 09:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Brampton33 View Post
Being successful in actually getting a judge to sign off on a criminal contempt motion is next to impossible.
Like I said they are "quasi-criminal".

quasi-
/ˈkwāˌzī,ˈkwäzē/
seemingly; apparently but not really.

Also, you need to balance the use of contempt motions for "access denials" and the withholding of children in contravention of an agreement or order vs lessor infractions like failure to drop off children at the exact scheduled time.

Judges weigh things differently based on the impact to children.
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