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He does drugs, I hate drugs.

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  • He does drugs, I hate drugs.

    Hello ya'll,

    I am interested in a man who I really want to date but one problem: he is into drugs (weed & sometimes shrooms) and I absoutely HATE drugs.

    Other than that, he's so kind and sweet...I am very interested in him.

    He says once we start a serious relationship, he'll quit for me but I don't know if I should give it a shot. I've been burnt by men before and I am so scared that it's something he can't control.

    He's not a drug addict or anything like that, just does it once in awhile but that still bugs the heck out me.

    Any suggestions?

  • #2
    I read your post and automatically a red flag went up. Just a couple of thoughts I had. You said you are bugged already and haven't even started a relationship with him yet. He said he would "quit for you" when you start a relationship. He has to quit for the "right" reasons hon. That being "himself".
    What about a friendship before a relationship. Get to know this guy. You sound like you have wonderful values. Perhaps your friendship would inspire those in him, then see where the road will take you. There is no rush. I have found my second relationship to be totally awesome and everything I have ever wanted in a partner. It is such a soft and wonderful and mutually respecting place to be. I wish that for you. Just take your time and go with eyes wide open. ......Amber.

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    • #3
      Ditto what Amber said. Are you prepared to change who you are and what your morals are for this guy? If not (and you shouldn't be), then of course you shouldn't be involved with him. This isn't a case of "He likes cauliflower; I hate cauliflower", right? Drugs are a lifestyle choice, and one you've decided you don't want in your life.

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      • #4
        Once a drug user, always a drug user IMO.
        Even if they dont physically use, they will be always thinking about it.

        I'd tell him straight that if he wants you, he has to stop the drugs.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Amber
          I read your post and automatically a red flag went up. Just a couple of thoughts I had. You said you are bugged already and haven't even started a relationship with him yet. He said he would "quit for you" when you start a relationship. He has to quit for the "right" reasons hon. That being "himself".
          What about a friendship before a relationship. Get to know this guy. You sound like you have wonderful values. Perhaps your friendship would inspire those in him, then see where the road will take you. There is no rush. I have found my second relationship to be totally awesome and everything I have ever wanted in a partner. It is such a soft and wonderful and mutually respecting place to be. I wish that for you. Just take your time and go with eyes wide open. ......Amber.
          Thank you for your reply.

          You are absoutely correct - he does have to quit for himself and no for me or anything else.

          I don't know, he is such a wonderful man "except" for the fact that he uses drugs once in awhile...

          After being burnt once, I don't want to ruin a relationship again by moving towards the wrong direction.

          Thank you so much for your kind wisdom <3

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          • #6
            Originally posted by sasha1
            Ditto what Amber said. Are you prepared to change who you are and what your morals are for this guy? If not (and you shouldn't be), then of course you shouldn't be involved with him. This isn't a case of "He likes cauliflower; I hate cauliflower", right? Drugs are a lifestyle choice, and one you've decided you don't want in your life.

            I would not change for a guy, that's for sure! haha We, women have to be strong and stand up to our values, right?

            Thanks for taking your time and replying.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Tim
              Once a drug user, always a drug user IMO.
              Even if they dont physically use, they will be always thinking about it.

              I'd tell him straight that if he wants you, he has to stop the drugs.
              I already told him that he gotta quit drugs in order to be with me...however I think I have decided to let him go.

              Like you have said, once a drug user, always a drug user, right?

              BTW - what does IMO exactly mean? Sorry, I am kinda new to this internet term.

              Thanks!

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              • #8
                IMO - In my Opinion

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                • #9
                  Julie,

                  Good idea to let him go. You can try to be friends, but a relationship takes trust among other things...so how are you going to feel when you realize he's been sneaking the drugs (addicts are rarely truthful, IMO) behind your back?

                  Sometimes it's better to steer clear of obstacles that are there BEFORE you even get going.

                  Good luck finding someone!

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                  • #10
                    Good on ya, Julie! I'm glad you're letting this fish swim on by!

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