I have been viewing this forum a lot over the past year, but it seems I'm at my wits end and need some advice.
My girlfriend has a son and daughter. Her son shares a different dad than her daughter, but non the less she has always cared for him and her when she lived with her daughter's dad. A year ago my girlfriends ex took her daughter for what would be a weekend visit and never gave her back and instead served her paperwork to get custody of their daughter. He was granted an emergency custody without prejudice because he said she did drugs, which she doesn't and that she is a neglectful parent, which again she isn't and that he was always the primary caregiver, which isn't true because he would work out of town. She was served on a Saturday and had till that Tuesday to respond. We immediately went to legal aid because she doesn't have a lot of money and was granted some kind of legal council for that day, but ultimately until she had a lawyer there wasn't much she could do and he was able to keep her.
She was able to obtain a lawyer through legal-aid, but as soon a she tried to respond to his affidavit his lawyer went on a month long vacation. She responded to the affidavit and cited that she doesn't do drugs and that she isn't a neglectful parent and that she was the primary care-giver. As soon as his lawyer got back they responded with another affidavit and this back and forth went on for a while and during that whole time she never once got to see her daughter; however, she was taking care of her son 5 days out of the week. Finally after a month she was granted overnight visitations under the conditions that I not be present, which her lawyer told her to agree too because he could get it lifted. Well after more adjournments and more affidavits of him accusing her of more stuff and her simply denying it we were finally able to get in front of a judge; however, before our case was about to come up to the judge his lawyer approached ours and asked for the OCL to become involved and we disagreed because it had already been months and if they wanted to do this then why didn't the ask for it at the beginning. As soon as our case began the judge said that he wants the OCL involved and neither our or his lawyer had a chance to say anything. Essentially, everything was to remain the same until the report was finished.
She was granted a case conference, but he didn't agree to anything. Well this meant for the next 3 to 4 months she got two visits, which were spread over the week and that I couldn't be present during those visits, which I agreed too, but I never thought it would take this long.
The daughter's dad during this time tried to work together with the son's dad in order to take the son away from the mom through the courts by signing an affidavit citing more stuff about drug use and neglect, but she was ultimately granted interim custody and through mediation my girl friend and the son's dad worked out a shared-custody agreement. Her lawyer during this was the legal aid lawyer that is currently representing her during the father custody dispute.
Also during this time she became pregnant with my child her lawyer stated that the only way he could get that ban lifted from me is if we move in and have a good reason.
The OCL clinical investigator seemed to understand what was going on and said at worse she would get shared custody; however just before her report was about to be finished she took ill and had to send it to another OCL investigator. This meant the whole thing had to be restarted.
We decided to move in together because my son was due soon we needed to be together and we asked if we could get that ban lifted on me during the visits for this reason, but he denied it so we went to court to get it lifted and the judge gave my girlfriend supervised access visits, which delayed the second OCL report even longer. My girlfriend was crestfallen and all of this happens just before Christmas so she couldn't spend the holidays with her at all.
After my son was born we again tried to get the ban lifted and her access un-supervised citing that there has been a material change, but the case was ajourned and during this time the second OCL gave her recommendations at a disclosure meeting. Even though her finding suggested that my girlfriend is a good parent and doesn't do drugs and that I'm not threat he still awarded him sole-custody based on how much time he had with her during this. Sure he was told that her visits be back to over-night and un-supervised and that I can be present, but it just doesn't make sense. She said that it was better for the daughter to have a strong relationship with both parents during her life and yet just gives him what he wanted even though she knows he lied. Her lawyer suggested we wait for the report to actually be finished and try and see if she messed up anywhere, but I personally believe he is just going to agree with the recommendation and not push for trial.
My question is what do we do? CAS never had a problem with us or her. His accusations were completely false and baseless. She has a share-custody agreement with her sons dad proving she can cooperate. I'm no threat and have zero criminal record or CAS file. Furthermore, she never had a chance to argue her case because he was awarded with a temporary emergency custody order. Basically because he was awarded a temp order based on a lie he gets to keep her.
TLDR: Dad was awarded emergency custody without prejudice and through lies and even though they where proved as lies during the disclosure meeting the OCL recommended sole-custody for him? What can we do?
I'm sorry if this is difficult to read and will elaborate more with responses.
My girlfriend has a son and daughter. Her son shares a different dad than her daughter, but non the less she has always cared for him and her when she lived with her daughter's dad. A year ago my girlfriends ex took her daughter for what would be a weekend visit and never gave her back and instead served her paperwork to get custody of their daughter. He was granted an emergency custody without prejudice because he said she did drugs, which she doesn't and that she is a neglectful parent, which again she isn't and that he was always the primary caregiver, which isn't true because he would work out of town. She was served on a Saturday and had till that Tuesday to respond. We immediately went to legal aid because she doesn't have a lot of money and was granted some kind of legal council for that day, but ultimately until she had a lawyer there wasn't much she could do and he was able to keep her.
She was able to obtain a lawyer through legal-aid, but as soon a she tried to respond to his affidavit his lawyer went on a month long vacation. She responded to the affidavit and cited that she doesn't do drugs and that she isn't a neglectful parent and that she was the primary care-giver. As soon as his lawyer got back they responded with another affidavit and this back and forth went on for a while and during that whole time she never once got to see her daughter; however, she was taking care of her son 5 days out of the week. Finally after a month she was granted overnight visitations under the conditions that I not be present, which her lawyer told her to agree too because he could get it lifted. Well after more adjournments and more affidavits of him accusing her of more stuff and her simply denying it we were finally able to get in front of a judge; however, before our case was about to come up to the judge his lawyer approached ours and asked for the OCL to become involved and we disagreed because it had already been months and if they wanted to do this then why didn't the ask for it at the beginning. As soon as our case began the judge said that he wants the OCL involved and neither our or his lawyer had a chance to say anything. Essentially, everything was to remain the same until the report was finished.
She was granted a case conference, but he didn't agree to anything. Well this meant for the next 3 to 4 months she got two visits, which were spread over the week and that I couldn't be present during those visits, which I agreed too, but I never thought it would take this long.
The daughter's dad during this time tried to work together with the son's dad in order to take the son away from the mom through the courts by signing an affidavit citing more stuff about drug use and neglect, but she was ultimately granted interim custody and through mediation my girl friend and the son's dad worked out a shared-custody agreement. Her lawyer during this was the legal aid lawyer that is currently representing her during the father custody dispute.
Also during this time she became pregnant with my child her lawyer stated that the only way he could get that ban lifted from me is if we move in and have a good reason.
The OCL clinical investigator seemed to understand what was going on and said at worse she would get shared custody; however just before her report was about to be finished she took ill and had to send it to another OCL investigator. This meant the whole thing had to be restarted.
We decided to move in together because my son was due soon we needed to be together and we asked if we could get that ban lifted on me during the visits for this reason, but he denied it so we went to court to get it lifted and the judge gave my girlfriend supervised access visits, which delayed the second OCL report even longer. My girlfriend was crestfallen and all of this happens just before Christmas so she couldn't spend the holidays with her at all.
After my son was born we again tried to get the ban lifted and her access un-supervised citing that there has been a material change, but the case was ajourned and during this time the second OCL gave her recommendations at a disclosure meeting. Even though her finding suggested that my girlfriend is a good parent and doesn't do drugs and that I'm not threat he still awarded him sole-custody based on how much time he had with her during this. Sure he was told that her visits be back to over-night and un-supervised and that I can be present, but it just doesn't make sense. She said that it was better for the daughter to have a strong relationship with both parents during her life and yet just gives him what he wanted even though she knows he lied. Her lawyer suggested we wait for the report to actually be finished and try and see if she messed up anywhere, but I personally believe he is just going to agree with the recommendation and not push for trial.
My question is what do we do? CAS never had a problem with us or her. His accusations were completely false and baseless. She has a share-custody agreement with her sons dad proving she can cooperate. I'm no threat and have zero criminal record or CAS file. Furthermore, she never had a chance to argue her case because he was awarded with a temporary emergency custody order. Basically because he was awarded a temp order based on a lie he gets to keep her.
TLDR: Dad was awarded emergency custody without prejudice and through lies and even though they where proved as lies during the disclosure meeting the OCL recommended sole-custody for him? What can we do?
I'm sorry if this is difficult to read and will elaborate more with responses.
Comment