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  • #16
    Originally posted by limer View Post
    I remember those planning books.
    There is no planning book - the school uses a folder that always goes in the backpack, for info to be sent to parents, and info sent back to teacher.

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    • #17
      The planner books don't start here until grade 2. If and when you do get one, they will be much appreciated. And as someone mentioned, the homework load does increase. My daughter just started grade 4. She is just now getting homework every night. It might only be spelling words but there is something. Also, if there is't any designated homework for you to do with her, perhaps you could get one of those booklets from Chapters...Walmart etc geared towards individual grade levels. My daughter uses them and we do 20 minutes of math every night if she doesnt have any set math homework.

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      • #18
        I've hit some of the same issues as you dinkyface, with a similar age child (D5), so I can understand your frustration.

        - It is the child's homework, so it should simply follow your child, in her backpack or whatnot.

        At least your ex seems to have an interest in the homework, as well. In my case, the homework will often not follow D5 home, and yet it does not get done either. (when it finally makes it my way, there is nothing done since the last time I saw it). Parents who want "ownership" of homework, are usually causing conflict. One parent usually wants to claim, that they are the one who routinely makes sure the child does homework, and thrives, because of them.

        Perhaps your ex wants to do this, or perhaps she simply does want to review it. As others have said, if it's actually getting done, I wouldn't worry about where it goes, as long as you do get to see it from time to time.

        - the planning book, usually starts a little later (like grade 2?). If your daughter doesn't use one yet, it will likely be next year then. That should also follow your child. (I know I will have issues with that following D5)

        - D5 makes use of a folder (not planner yet), which would never follow her to my house, despite my requesting it a few times (and the teacher as well). So I would miss out on info too. When the ex agreed with teacher, it would be best for the folder to go between both homes, the ex would routinely strip info out of the folder first, so when I got it, there was only meaningless stuff in it (school SPAM, instead of permission slips, volunteer forms, calendars)

        If you're having trouble with getting info, it's best to have your own folder at school, so they can provide duplicate forms. I was having issues with even this at first, but I have found this year, this is working out much better now. The teacher has been very good with providing duplicate calendars, duplicate forms, etc.

        - school parent council - that sucks to hear. I am actually on the parent council at D5's school, because I thought it would be a good way to stay in the loop too. I enjoy it. I was also worried though, because it's a faith-based school (also chosen purely by Mom), and I am not of that faith. I mentioned that to the principal, and in my case, they were happy to have me on still.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
          Because that would make you look like the problem.

          To be honest, you both are being unreasonable. Her by being demanding and you by being defensive and believing this is an attempt to cut you out.
          I'm well aware I cannot control what she does in her house. And also well aware that I cannot propose a plan based on the presumption that she will cut me out.

          So we are left with
          - homework travels with child and is handed in on the expected due date
          - we don't require D6 to do homework twice
          - we each leave a reasonable portion for the other parent to do
          - if either of us sees a problem with homework done on in the other house, we discuss it first with the other parent, rather than correcting it directly with D6.

          With the goals of
          - maximizing available homework time
          - not penalizing D6 for living in 2 homes
          - preferring to do homework on weekdays, to keep weekends free(r)
          - each supporting and respecting the other parent's efforts
          - keeping any potential conflicts away from D6
          - having a plan that works in future when homework due dates change, and if parenting schedule changes
          Last edited by dinkyface; 10-18-2013, 02:39 PM.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
            Yes I pick up from school on Weds and drop off to school on Thurs.

            I'm concerned that Mom would send the completed homework to school on Weds morning, and instruct D6 to hand it in that day instead of leaving it in the backpack to come home with D6 to us.
            I get the main concern, you want to be involved and mom doesn't want you to be involved.

            If the work is due Thursday, then it should be turned in on Thursday. Mom should just keep it in the child's bag. Whether it is done or not isn't the concern. If it is done, you still sit with your child and go over it as a review and make sure there are no mistakes.

            Mom shouldn't be turning in the homework Wednesday; it should be the child's responsibility. The work isn't due, so the teacher won't be asking for it. If it is turned in on Wednesday, this is Mom's doing, and I'm sure you will be annoyed. However, I don't see where you have the wherewithal to make any change here.

            On the whole, I think your solution is simply to express to the child that you enjoy sitting and doing the homework together, it is fun for you, and you like spending the time together. Over the long run, this is the solution because it creates the bond with the child that you both benefit from. If the homework is already turned in, then sit and review something else.

            Math would be good, it doesn't depend so much on language.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Mess View Post
              Mom shouldn't be turning in the homework Wednesday; it should be the child's responsibility. The work isn't due, so the teacher won't be asking for it. If it is turned in on Wednesday, this is Mom's doing, and I'm sure you will be annoyed. However, I don't see where you have the wherewithal to make any change here.
              We're not making a change ... we are arranging this for the first time. But I agree I cannot FORCE anything with mom. But I will make a direct proposal that is clearly in D6's best interests and respects both parents roles, and hope that she agrees.

              Originally posted by Mess View Post
              On the whole, I think your solution is simply to express to the child that you enjoy sitting and doing the homework together, it is fun for you, and you like spending the time together. Over the long run, this is the solution because it creates the bond with the child that you both benefit from. If the homework is already turned in, then sit and review something else.

              Math would be good, it doesn't depend so much on language.
              Definitely! Want to make this a positive experience for D6. At the moment reading/writing are manageable - it's very limited and mechanical. But when it comes to 'creative writing' sort of thing we'll be out of the water.

              Thanks all for your suggestions!

              Comment

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