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  • Lethal potential...

    of tape measures.

    This is one of the funniest things I have ever read, and it was sent to me by my ex. During a dinner visit with my son at his grandparents place he was playing with a mini tape measure (he loves numbers and has autism) and accidentally cut his finger when the mini tape measure rolled up. His grandmother put a bandaid on it and we sent him home. An hour later:

    "In future, don't let X play with real tools. I have hidden my tape measure from X to prevent him from injuring himself. I bought him a toy tape measure (along with many other toy tools) so he can satisfy his curiosity without pain. You can go to Value Village and likely find some toy tools for a very reasonable price. X is lucky that he only hurt his finger with your dad's tape measure -- he could have lost an eye, given the lethal potential of tape measures when they spring back."

    the lethal potential of tape measures

    lethal potential of tape measures

    Holy crap people. He could have had his jugular slashed. He could have had a limb amputated. He could even have been decapitated!

    Protect your children from the threat of lethal tape measures!

    There is some humour to be found in divorce after all I guess...

  • #2
    If you can google it then it's true...lol

    But did that and found nothing LMFAO!

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    • #3
      LOL - thanks for the chuckle.

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      • #4


        Evil tape measure BEWARE!!!!m2401151a_99230199005_40kTapeMeasure01_873x627.jpg

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        • #5
          OMG priceless picture! I should send it to my ex.

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          • #6
            Haha, GW tape measure!

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            • #7
              "In future, don't let X play with real tools.
              Lawd almighty...how petty and dumb.

              You could take a bunch of bubble wrap and wrap it around the kid's abdomen and legs right before you send him out to her car next time. Put a bike helmet on his head, some safety glasses over his eyes and oven mitts on his hands. Maybe some steel-toe safety boots too...we don't want him stubbing a toe on the way.

              ...he could have lost an eye, given the lethal potential of tape measures when they spring back."
              Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye....

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
                Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye....
                Not sure if "eyes" have been lost, but there have been eye injuries from the metal tape measures, snapping back (the normal sized ones).

                There are also the cases of the "cuts" from the metal edge if it slips back; some requiring stitches.

                Will it happen to you? Probably never. But it has happened, so is not out of the realm of possibility.
                Last edited by dad2bandm; 09-11-2013, 11:56 PM. Reason: Missed a quoting bracket...

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                • #9
                  Any 'lethal' injuries? Fatalities?

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                  • #10
                    I doubt it...

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                    • #11
                      meh.

                      could be they are the caring sort... just too busy trying to sound official and emotionless to actually get their point across.

                      Simply, I've sounded real dumb over stupid things like that too, when I've been bitten on the ass by the situation.

                      It IS funny how we become blind to the grand scale of such requests when we make them, though.

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                      • #12
                        Not sure if "eyes" have been lost, but there have been eye injuries from the metal tape measures, snapping back (the normal sized ones).

                        There are also the cases of the "cuts" from the metal edge if it slips back; some requiring stitches.

                        Will it happen to you? Probably never. But it has happened, so is not out of the realm of possibility.
                        I guess my feeling on these types of things with regard to parenting is then to explain the kid the dangers of the item so that they know what can happen and not isolate them from necessarily touching or using it.

                        Within reason, of course, I wouldn't give a sharp knife to a toddler. However, when my kid got coordinated enough...probably around the age of 7, or so...I started letting her cut things up for dinner when I was teaching her how to cook. I showed her how to use a knife...how to tuck her fingers under to avoid being cut, etc. But ultimately, I think it doesn't make a lot of sense for a kid to not be able to touch things...particularly reasonable things like a tape measure unless they're not listening and using it irresponsibly.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by wretchedotis View Post
                          meh.

                          could be they are the caring sort... just too busy trying to sound official and emotionless to actually get their point across.

                          Simply, I've sounded real dumb over stupid things like that too, when I've been bitten on the ass by the situation.

                          It IS funny how we become blind to the grand scale of such requests when we make them, though.
                          I consider my ex to be an acceptable caregiver for our son. That being said, I didn't get all panty-knotted when he fell down the stairs and got a concussion with her family. I suppose I should have insisted he wear a helmet whenever visiting a home where stairs exist and threaten to call the police if she didn't immediately comply with my demand. Because that's her typical response to things.

                          She's a very over-anxious and controlling person. She tries to micromanage everything - even which bed he sleeps in - on my parenting time.

                          Although this particular e-mail from her comes across as particularly ridiculous to the point of being funny, it's just one example in dozens of how she is.

                          She was the same even when we were married. As you can guess, it was a highly regimented and sedated existence for me. I don't take her seriously any more and consider myself a better person for being able to do so.

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                          • #14
                            Funny, that people don't take into consideration what would be done if they were still together. My sister in law very accidentally dropped one of our kids down the stairs, tears were shed by kid and sister in law, no injuries but a bump on the noggin, it was an accident. Neither the ex nor i freaked out at each other over it when we were married, i can't imagine either of us freaking out over it simply because we're not!

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                            • #15
                              I always try to put things into that perspective: "Would I still do X if we were still living together?"

                              It's a good way to help make decisions that should give your children as normal a life as you can under the circumstances.

                              Still, my ex is a clinically depressed, hyper-anxious parent. Now it's been compounded by all the emotions of divorce which also triggers borderline behaviour (splitting and projection especially). I try to understand her so at least her insanity is predictable.

                              Splitting? Check: "You lied to me for the entire 10 years we were together"
                              Projection? Check: "You are a leech on my time and resources." (after she has been jobless and living off SS/CS from me for the last three years)

                              Both quotes from the last two months...

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