^^^^^^
What they said(MIVILaLoco). Very well written.
This is also my experience. I spent years and years in and out of couples therapy, individual therapy, had other outside professional advice and was advised to do the same, "what harm could it do, just do this one thing this one time". My ex was never satisfied. Always asked for more. Didn't like the person/professional I chose or found fault with the result each and every time without fail, even if it was the result he had predicted, I was wrong. His demands never ended and he was never satisfied.
I do not see this as a way to get the agreement you are seeking. I think it is going to start something that you can not predict is going to happen at this time.
I also think you feel your fiance is okay right now, and maybe she is, but this sort of compromise on her part will become more and more difficult as time goes on. When is your ex going to stop asking for things? When will she be satisfied? If she doesn't like that you live in your fiances house now, will anything change if/when you purchase something else? Will you stop asking your fiance to compromise when/if you live somewhere else? When does it end?
I was in this position many times in my marriage and at first I felt okay I will do this because the person I love is asking me to and over time I began to realize that my partner should have been standing next to me, (figuratively speaking of course). I should have been more important than this other third party, I was the one he lived with, I was the one he came home to bed with. No matter how unpleasant dealing with the other person was for him, he didn't live with them and I began to feel less important.
This other persons demands of my ex never went away, and the expectation that I would be the one to compromise never changed.
Good luck
What they said(MIVILaLoco). Very well written.
This is also my experience. I spent years and years in and out of couples therapy, individual therapy, had other outside professional advice and was advised to do the same, "what harm could it do, just do this one thing this one time". My ex was never satisfied. Always asked for more. Didn't like the person/professional I chose or found fault with the result each and every time without fail, even if it was the result he had predicted, I was wrong. His demands never ended and he was never satisfied.
I do not see this as a way to get the agreement you are seeking. I think it is going to start something that you can not predict is going to happen at this time.
I also think you feel your fiance is okay right now, and maybe she is, but this sort of compromise on her part will become more and more difficult as time goes on. When is your ex going to stop asking for things? When will she be satisfied? If she doesn't like that you live in your fiances house now, will anything change if/when you purchase something else? Will you stop asking your fiance to compromise when/if you live somewhere else? When does it end?
I was in this position many times in my marriage and at first I felt okay I will do this because the person I love is asking me to and over time I began to realize that my partner should have been standing next to me, (figuratively speaking of course). I should have been more important than this other third party, I was the one he lived with, I was the one he came home to bed with. No matter how unpleasant dealing with the other person was for him, he didn't live with them and I began to feel less important.
This other persons demands of my ex never went away, and the expectation that I would be the one to compromise never changed.
Good luck
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