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  • #16
    Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
    If you pick up from school how did she refuse? You went to be school and she said no so you left your children there? I'm not really understanding how this happened if exchanges are done at the school? I understand she may have been upset but if you were at the school they should have came with you. I don't know how OCL will view this because mom didn't deny you access if you left the children at the school. Many kids don't want to leave after school and would rather stay and play on the equipment but parents don't leave them there. It would have been a tough situation for sure seeing your daughter upset but I don't think leaving them there was the right thing to do...


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    B_F....to clarify, last Friday school was closed , it was a PA day for teachers, so the order states that if school is closed for any reasons than the access exchanges shall be at the Mall, so when I picked them up (both) and to leave my daughter started to cry and to refuse to come with me, I tried to encourage her but no succes, she looked scared. It's first time since Feb this year when she refused to come.

    Sent from my LGMS631 using Tapatalk

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    • #17
      Originally posted by paco View Post
      B_F....to clarify, last Friday school was closed , it was a PA day for teachers, so the order states that if school is closed for any reasons than the access exchanges shall be at the Mall, so when I picked them up (both) and to leave my daughter started to cry and to refuse to come with me, I tried to encourage her but no succes, she looked scared. It's first time since Feb this year when she refused to come.

      Sent from my LGMS631 using Tapatalk
      I believe it. I have heard similar horror stories from our child that they are being disparaged by mom and grandmother, and even beat by them and punished for expressing their love for me. It's nothing new to me.

      The fact that the case is going for so long is a reason to grant you OCL involvement to have a neutral 3rd party review the situation and make a recommendation to the courts , not to prolong conflict. Further, y our OCL report is now outdated and you need a new one to reflect the present circumstances.

      I asked the courts for OCL multiple times, and even brought a motion for it once. The biased judge basically said she wouldn't allow it as the OCL is eager to recommend joint custody and that's not what the judge wants. Mind you this was just the case management judge and not the same judge who would be hearing my trial. I was not granted a leave for my motion for OCL but was not ordered any costs for. My last lawyer stinked. Can't believe I didn't fire them much sooner when I started smelling stuff. I switched lawyers and my lawyer got the OCL involved by consent after threatening a motion and with the judge now (after the other parent also lost their lawyer) siding with me to get the OCL involved due to the case turning contentious. Sometimes you just need a good lawyer who has a good connection and reputation with the judge to properly present the circumstance to the court, and help you make your case to the OCL.

      Keep firing back and pushing for the OCL. You love your child very much, and without their help, your child could be alienated from you. The other parent is not encouraging and facilitating contact with you, and is doing the complete opposite. The OCL refusing to get involved gives her even more reasons to do so, which is likely going to just backfire on her.

      Comment


      • #18
        Beware lawyers who can't/don't explain how useless case conferences are... case management judges can't order anything besides procedural stuff. Lawyers don't do this because they can make money off of you (tell you what you want to hear and get your hopes up) IMO.

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by Tayken View Post
          If you have 10-25k then a Section 30 assessment may be possible. But, you will have to take on the cost and reserve your right to see the costs of the Section 30. If you are prepared to eat 10-25+k in costs then you can get one ordered.

          I never recommend assessments or OCL anymore. You are best relying upon the facts of the case and not these "professionals".
          Well said Tayken.

          I would contact the OCL and simply say thank you. And request a copy of both intake forms and copies of all documents they are relying on. Who knows the ex may have made a comment and or defamed you in the intake form which is why they aren't getting involved.

          Under their rules they are transparent, and as this includes the process they took to make the decision to get involved or not get involved.

          Good luck.

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by involveddad75 View Post
            Well said Tayken.

            I would contact the OCL and simply say thank you. And request a copy of both intake forms and copies of all documents they are relying on. Who knows the ex may have made a comment and or defamed you in the intake form which is why they aren't getting involved.

            Under their rules they are transparent, and as this includes the process they took to make the decision to get involved or not get involved.

            Good luck.
            That's pretty much possible involveddad75, I will ask OCL to provide me with copies of my ex intake forms. So let's say if she defamed me in her intake form then what can I do about it? OCL still will not going to decide otherwise but the main problem remains, my kids are heavily alienated by their mom and grandma, without a clinical investigation it's hard for me to prove it, unless there is a different way to do it.
            Okay , now, do I need a new order to appoint OCL again (we just had one done recently at our DRO conference endorsed by a judge then right after OCL rejected their involvement) or I just simply write a letter to OCL explaining the new circumstances arose (my daughter's refusal to come for access) since last time they rejected their involvement?
            Last edited by paco; 09-19-2017, 01:08 PM.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by tunnelight View Post
              I believe it. I have heard similar horror stories from our child that they are being disparaged by mom and grandmother, and even beat by them and punished for expressing their love for me. It's nothing new to me.

              The fact that the case is going for so long is a reason to grant you OCL involvement to have a neutral 3rd party review the situation and make a recommendation to the courts , not to prolong conflict. Further, y our OCL report is now outdated and you need a new one to reflect the present circumstances.

              I asked the courts for OCL multiple times, and even brought a motion for it once. The biased judge basically said she wouldn't allow it as the OCL is eager to recommend joint custody and that's not what the judge wants. Mind you this was just the case management judge and not the same judge who would be hearing my trial. I was not granted a leave for my motion for OCL but was not ordered any costs for. My last lawyer stinked. Can't believe I didn't fire them much sooner when I started smelling stuff. I switched lawyers and my lawyer got the OCL involved by consent after threatening a motion and with the judge now (after the other parent also lost their lawyer) siding with me to get the OCL involved due to the case turning contentious. Sometimes you just need a good lawyer who has a good connection and reputation with the judge to properly present the circumstance to the court, and help you make your case to the OCL.

              Keep firing back and pushing for the OCL. You love your child very much, and without their help, your child could be alienated from you. The other parent is not encouraging and facilitating contact with you, and is doing the complete opposite. The OCL refusing to get involved gives her even more reasons to do so, which is likely going to just backfire on her.
              thanks tunnelight, just wondering if CAS can help in any way on our case, I know they wouldn't get involved in a custody/access matter but what if a child is emotionally threaten/abused by the custodial parent? Their role is to intervene only in physically abused children?

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by paco View Post
                thanks tunnelight, just wondering if CAS can help in any way on our case, I know they wouldn't get involved in a custody/access matter but what if a child is emotionally threaten/abused by the custodial parent? Their role is to intervene only in physically abused children?
                IT's very hard to poof emotional abuse. CAS will stay away from it. They say "parenting styles are different"

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by foreverhome View Post
                  IT's very hard to poof emotional abuse. CAS will stay away from it. They say "parenting styles are different"
                  so what's my option, OCL ?

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    You don't have a lawyer, but your ex has. Can you get a lawyer?

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by foreverhome View Post
                      You don't have a lawyer, but your ex has. Can you get a lawyer?
                      Of course I can get a lawyer, but what for? I had one and he stunk, so no thank you I can represent myself, I did it before in our first litigation and I'm sure I can do it again. I will call OCL to find out if a new order is required to appoint OCL or we just can rely on our last order on consent....or lastly maybe SCJ shall exercise Parens Patriae Jurisdiction for the protection of my children over OCL decision not to get involved.

                      Sent from my LGMS631 using Tapatalk

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                        If you pick up from school how did she refuse? You went to be school and she said no so you left your children there? I'm not really understanding how this happened if exchanges are done at the school? I understand she may have been upset but if you were at the school they should have came with you. I don't know how OCL will view this because mom didn't deny you access if you left the children at the school. Many kids don't want to leave after school and would rather stay and play on the equipment but parents don't leave them there. It would have been a tough situation for sure seeing your daughter upset but I don't think leaving them there was the right thing to do...


                        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                        So Berner_Faith, let's say you go to school to pick up your child for the weekend access, so what you'll do if your child is refusing to come with you for the weekend access, 'cause that's exactly what's happening since 6 six now with my daughter (11 years old). Looking forward on your reply.

                        Sent from my LGMS631 using Tapatalk

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by paco View Post
                          Of course I can get a lawyer, but what for? I had one and he stunk, so no thank you I can represent myself
                          Get one who doesn't stink?

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Kinso View Post
                            Get one who doesn't stink?
                            really? your lawyer doesn't stink?!

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Question: what should be CS if I would have one child 50/50 parenting time and the other one just regular access every other weekend?

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                I find it sad that every other weekend is considered 'regular access".

                                Use this to check your numbers for CS:

                                https://mysupportcalculator.ca/calculate

                                Comment

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