I've been a member of this board for a couple of weeks and haven't made a formal introduction yet.
I'm 46, been divorced for 7 years and am the NCP of a 13 year old daughter. We spend every other weekend during the school year together, half of Christmas break and 3 weeks during summer vacation.
In years past, I've asked for an increase in access in the form of an extra week in the summer as well as some way to stay connected during the times our daughter and I are apart whether it be a phone call, text message or FaceTime. All were flat out denied by my ex with accusations that our daughter doesn't enjoy being with me, that I don't know how to parent, her homework is a mess when done at my place, etc. Our daughter has never told me she is unhappy spending time with me and actively participates in planning activities and events for her next visit. I sought the consult of two lawyers and both concluded that the next step was to go to court. I did not want to put our daughter through the process so I dropped my requests.
Fast forward to present day and my ex has been increasingly infringing upon the little time that I do have with our daughter. First there were an overwhelming number of birthday parties with sleepovers that seemed to fall on my access times. I was put in a situation where I could not say no but at least a make up date was provided. This has continued but now my ex is uncooperative with make up dates. She claims our daughter is old enough now to decide what she wants and should not be bound to the access schedule in our separation agreement. Easy for her to say considering she spends at least 90% of the time with our daughter. Next comes the various appointments that again conveniently fall on my access times of which I have no problem taking our daughter to. But that too is denied stating our daughter wants mom to take her and for me to stop being difficult. WTH?
I can't help but feel our daughter is slipping away from me and it scares me to death. This fear has lead to me to agree to things like taking out a line of credit to put our daughter through private school, paying extra for expenses that should fall under CS, and the like in hopes I will and can be a continued presence in her life.
I am now at a crossroads. Do I not rock the boat and let our relationship continue to deteriorate or go the court route and chance accelerate pushing our daughter away from me? I know that if push came to shove, our daughter will tow her mother's line. My ex knows this as well and has an open invitation for me to see her in court. The guilt of not having fought harder for equal custody but instead taking the high road in hopes that my ex's stance would soften over time eats away at me constantly. I've never felt so helpless and hopeless.
I'm 46, been divorced for 7 years and am the NCP of a 13 year old daughter. We spend every other weekend during the school year together, half of Christmas break and 3 weeks during summer vacation.
In years past, I've asked for an increase in access in the form of an extra week in the summer as well as some way to stay connected during the times our daughter and I are apart whether it be a phone call, text message or FaceTime. All were flat out denied by my ex with accusations that our daughter doesn't enjoy being with me, that I don't know how to parent, her homework is a mess when done at my place, etc. Our daughter has never told me she is unhappy spending time with me and actively participates in planning activities and events for her next visit. I sought the consult of two lawyers and both concluded that the next step was to go to court. I did not want to put our daughter through the process so I dropped my requests.
Fast forward to present day and my ex has been increasingly infringing upon the little time that I do have with our daughter. First there were an overwhelming number of birthday parties with sleepovers that seemed to fall on my access times. I was put in a situation where I could not say no but at least a make up date was provided. This has continued but now my ex is uncooperative with make up dates. She claims our daughter is old enough now to decide what she wants and should not be bound to the access schedule in our separation agreement. Easy for her to say considering she spends at least 90% of the time with our daughter. Next comes the various appointments that again conveniently fall on my access times of which I have no problem taking our daughter to. But that too is denied stating our daughter wants mom to take her and for me to stop being difficult. WTH?
I can't help but feel our daughter is slipping away from me and it scares me to death. This fear has lead to me to agree to things like taking out a line of credit to put our daughter through private school, paying extra for expenses that should fall under CS, and the like in hopes I will and can be a continued presence in her life.
I am now at a crossroads. Do I not rock the boat and let our relationship continue to deteriorate or go the court route and chance accelerate pushing our daughter away from me? I know that if push came to shove, our daughter will tow her mother's line. My ex knows this as well and has an open invitation for me to see her in court. The guilt of not having fought harder for equal custody but instead taking the high road in hopes that my ex's stance would soften over time eats away at me constantly. I've never felt so helpless and hopeless.
Comment