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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 09-29-2010, 07:08 AM
mrsb mrsb is offline
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Default Travelling with children

Hello, I am hoping someone can advise me on this particular situation.

I have sole custody of my children and we are planning to head as a family (myself, current husband and children) to Cuba for a week for a family members destination wedding. The holiday does not fall over access times as per the court order. I have all their required documents and their passports of course. Both myself and my ex had to sign for the passports though. This was the policy at the passport office even though I am a sole custodial parent.

My question is do I need him to fill out a consent for the kids to travel with me? I checked with the Foreign Affairs website and they have a sample consent letter etc but the instructions are very vauge about this. They say it is good to have but not a necesity? My problem is I do not think my ex will do this or he will make a huge issue just to be spitefull. I do plan on advising him of our upcoming holiday and will attempt to ask him for the consent though. If he gives it is another story though....

Has anyone gone on holidays without it? What happened? I do not want to do anything illegal or anything to fuel his fire, just want to go to a wedding and enjoy a nice trip with my family.
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Old 09-29-2010, 07:20 AM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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I like to cover the bases.

I think I would follow through with the itinerary letter of consent. If the other parent refuses, I would file an expedited motion and seek costs. The vacation and attendance at wedding is not unreasonable and as mentioned does not interfere with the access.
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Old 09-29-2010, 09:50 AM
choochoo choochoo is offline
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I agree with the above poster, you need to cover your bases just in case. Is there nothing stated in your custody agreement about travel out of country? Our Separation Agreement states that the other parent needs to give consent through a notarized letter. Again, barring any unreasonable reason for travel, there really is no reason for him to disagree.
Good luck!
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Old 09-29-2010, 10:20 AM
anotherSTEPmother anotherSTEPmother is offline
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I agree as well, if your court order does not indicate that it is required then you are likely not legally obligated to. I would anyways, you get your bases covered. This way if there are any issues you have done your due diligence, besides maybe dad will help ramp the kids up for the fun trip?
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Old 09-29-2010, 10:32 AM
mrsb mrsb is offline
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Hi, thanks for all the replys.

AnotherStep<om, in the order it only states I have to grant permission if he ever wanted to travel with the children nothing about me asking him, hence the confusion with all of it and the legalities with me having sole custody.

I have done small trips into the states with the kids and have never had to have the authorization of the other parent but I think in this case I will have to just ask him to sign the consent and hope for the best. He is the type of person who will make an issue about anything for any reason regardless if it is for the benefit of the kids or not. *Sigh*

Thanks again!
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Old 09-29-2010, 11:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsb View Post
Hello, I am hoping someone can advise me on this particular situation.

I have sole custody of my children and we are planning to head as a family (myself, current husband and children) to Cuba for a week for a family members destination wedding. The holiday does not fall over access times as per the court order. I have all their required documents and their passports of course. Both myself and my ex had to sign for the passports though. This was the policy at the passport office even though I am a sole custodial parent.

My question is do I need him to fill out a consent for the kids to travel with me? I checked with the Foreign Affairs website and they have a sample consent letter etc but the instructions are very vauge about this. They say it is good to have but not a necesity? My problem is I do not think my ex will do this or he will make a huge issue just to be spitefull. I do plan on advising him of our upcoming holiday and will attempt to ask him for the consent though. If he gives it is another story though....

Has anyone gone on holidays without it? What happened? I do not want to do anything illegal or anything to fuel his fire, just want to go to a wedding and enjoy a nice trip with my family.
I have primary custody of my two boys and we just went on vacation to Florida. Our divorce order states that each party is required to give the other written permission for travel outside Ontario. My ex wife initially gave permission in writing and then a month before our holiday witheld permission claiming that "I am a flight risk". Please! Anyway it was purely out of spite.
I filed a motion of contempt and won. Judge also awarded costs and signed an order allowing me to travel with the kids to Florida.

Well... after all that, not ONE person questioned me at Pearson when we left. I had the documents but thought I would try without them just out of curiosity and no one gave us a second look. My current spouse has a different surname than me and my boys and still no one questioned us.

However in your case you probably don't want to risk doing that without any documentation but I can tell you your ex is not allowed to withold consent unreasonably. If he does you can drag him into court, file a motion of contempt, and get costs as well. If you need help on the ppwk etc. it is all still fresh in my mind.

Good luck....
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Old 09-29-2010, 06:36 PM
mrsb mrsb is offline
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Thank you J_Kitchener. I have not had issues prior either taking them accross the border either, they never gave us a second look at all but I don't want to take any risks with this as my ex husband is unreasonable and not child focused and very litigation happy. My fear is this will create quite the issue with him but we will see. I just might have to take you up on your offer to help and thanks so much!
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Old 09-29-2010, 07:03 PM
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NBDad NBDad is offline
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The only issue is if you DON'T have the consent letter, you DO run the risk of being turned away at the destination.

You might not be asked to produce the document 99 times out of 100...but the 1 time in 100 you wind up needing it...do you really want to run the risk of it being when you are attending a wedding or other family event?
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Old 09-29-2010, 09:06 PM
mrsb mrsb is offline
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Thanks NBDad. I had not put any research into this previously and looking back I see that I should have. Knowing my luck I would be the 1 out of 100 you speak of. lol I had always assumed that as a sole custodial parent I would not require his consent but I plan to approach him with the consent, not just for this but for us to head accross the border for our summer trips to Maine as well.

I think it might be in my best interested to update my current order to reflect this as well so I do not run into these problems again. It seems the more details addressed the better in my situation.

Thanks for your help!
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Old 10-25-2010, 09:24 PM
Simcoe Simcoe is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J_Kitchener2010 View Post
I have primary custody of my two boys and we just went on vacation to Florida. Our divorce order states that each party is required to give the other written permission for travel outside Ontario. My ex wife initially gave permission in writing and then a month before our holiday witheld permission claiming that "I am a flight risk". Please! Anyway it was purely out of spite.
I filed a motion of contempt and won. Judge also awarded costs and signed an order allowing me to travel with the kids to Florida.

Well... after all that, not ONE person questioned me at Pearson when we left. I had the documents but thought I would try without them just out of curiosity and no one gave us a second look. My current spouse has a different surname than me and my boys and still no one questioned us.

However in your case you probably don't want to risk doing that without any documentation but I can tell you your ex is not allowed to withold consent unreasonably. If he does you can drag him into court, file a motion of contempt, and get costs as well. If you need help on the ppwk etc. it is all still fresh in my mind.

Good luck....
I would greatly appreciate help with the paperwork. My Ex is refusing to allow me to bring DD11 on a trip to Puerto Vallarta next month. He claims it's too 'dangerous' to bring her there. I disagree and gave him a printout of the Foreign Affairs warnings for Mexico which clearly states that flying in and staying at resort towns is safe, along with a map of where we're going to show we're not going to be anywhere near the danger areas.

We have joint custody, with me as primary. Our agreement states we need each other's written permission for travel out of the country, not to be unreasonably withheld. I believe he's being unreasonable. We're going to celebrate her grandparent's birthdays!

Do I need my lawyer to do this or can I do it myself and save the $$$? Thanks for any help you can offer.
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