Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > General Chat

General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 03-11-2012, 12:35 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,357
Berner_Faith will become famous soon enough
Default Picking Your Battles...

There have been a few posts on this forum, were the OP is told to pick their battles. I can't agree more with this advice, something so small is not worth the hassle just to not give the ex what he/she wants...

My example for today... on Friday my bf received a text from his stbx saying she was in another car accident (second in 2 years)... luckily the children were not with her and she was okay.. the problem was, I was to meet her today to pick up the children at 1:30... however, she was unsure if the van was a right off or not and would not know more until Saturday (yesterday)...

Yesterday while I was at work, I received a text from her, asking if I was able to pick up the children at her place, as the van was a write off and she could not get a rental until Monday... my first initial thought was no... because two months ago when we had to have new brakes put on our van, she was unwilling to come and pick up the children from our place and said we had to find away to meet her... however, we all know you get more bees with honey.

Before I had a chance to write her back, she phoned me... obviously upset and embarrassed by what had happened, she tried to plead with me about picking up the children... I had already made up my mind that of course we would pick them up... lets face it, we never give up a chance to spend with them...

She offered me gas money, offered to do the next 2 exchanges, offered to not cash his next CS cheque.... now some people may have taken any of those offers, but really, none of them had any merit to me, I was just excited to have the kids for a week... I told her to relax, its unfortunate what happen, but I was glad she was okay. I said we would pick the children up later tonight as apposed to this afternoon, and no, I/we didn't expect any of what she offered.

There was a pause, and then she Thanked me... she thanked me for being so understanding, she thanked me for not freaking out and she thanked me for being so awesome to her kids... to me, there was no thanks necessary...its just the type of person I am... she is still their mother and it is going to be a lifetime of us dealing with her, why not do so has civil as possible?

I just hope this is a step in the direction that eventually any hostility she has towards me and my bf, will diminish and together we can all provide the children with the best possible...

I just wanted to share a positive story, as we are often told of the negatives...

Happy Sunday All!
  #2  
Old 03-11-2012, 12:42 PM
torontonian torontonian is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Check my member name...
Posts: 294
torontonian is on a distinguished road
Default

Good for you... if only more were like that....
  #3  
Old 03-11-2012, 01:21 PM
Mess Mess is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,448
Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
Default

Everyone has good day from time to time, I'm sure she'll be back to normal soon.
  #4  
Old 03-11-2012, 01:27 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,357
Berner_Faith will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
Everyone has good day from time to time, I'm sure she'll be back to normal soon.
Ha ha...unfortunately you are most likely right... but we all have to hope every once in a while
  #5  
Old 03-11-2012, 02:27 PM
Fedupwithcrap Fedupwithcrap is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 107
Fedupwithcrap is on a distinguished road
Default

Thank you for sharing Berner_Faith, it's truly wonderful to hear the good stories
Hopefully perhaps by displaying gratitude the way she did, maybe just maybe she's willing to be more courteous from now on. There's always hope.
  #6  
Old 03-11-2012, 02:50 PM
May_May's Avatar
May_May May_May is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 519
May_May is on a distinguished road
Default

BF_thanks for sharing...I agree-easier to attract flies with honey. Whenever possible I put things into perspective for my ex as to how the conversation will benefit him...it's a great way to start and I usually get less contention when I do that.
  #7  
Old 03-11-2012, 07:57 PM
Rioe's Avatar
Rioe Rioe is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,347
Rioe will become famous soon enough
Default

Maybe the crash rattled something into place in her brain.
  #8  
Old 03-11-2012, 07:59 PM
Mess Mess is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,448
Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
Maybe the crash rattled something into place in her brain.
Maybe not far from the truth. Sometimes a serious accident can make you realize just how petty all the petty stuff is.
  #9  
Old 03-11-2012, 09:20 PM
tugofwar's Avatar
tugofwar tugofwar is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: mostly in my own little world
Posts: 1,384
tugofwar is on a distinguished road
Default

Good thing you took the high road... And yes maybe the crash might have stirred up some thoughts and feelings. That was pretty big and nice of her to thank you with explanations, must have made you feel alittle good inside. Alot of people would have just insisted you do the pick up and never send a thanks.
I tried to be the bigger person today after informing my ex of our little ones sickness ( Childs first experience with vomitting) it took 5hours to respond to my text and then became a way for them to get off topic) I choose to ignore, one of the reasons I hate sending texts or emails
I just thought if it was reversed, that was something I hope they would have shared with me..
  #10  
Old 03-11-2012, 09:41 PM
wretchedotis's Avatar
wretchedotis wretchedotis is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: ON
Posts: 2,317
wretchedotis is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
Everyone has good day from time to time, I'm sure she'll be back to normal soon.

LOL! Too Funny.
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:07 PM.