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Urgent Help Needed – Child Custody

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  • #16
    Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
    Funny story: I was with my 3yo girl visiting my first (nice) ex's parents. And DD had to pee. So I took her inside and helped her with her business.

    Afterwards, my ex's dad (about 80) commented IN AWE that I was CAPABLE (as a man) to do this.

    A real eye opener that this mindset does exist.
    Not suprising, given that in his generation, (and every generation before his), men were the protectors and providers and women were the nurturers and caretakers...

    It has only been in the last 50 years that the woman's traditional role as a home-maker, has changed...

    Now with more and more women taking advantage of higher education and career opportunities, they are drastically changing the role of the modern woman in the household.

    Not to say that there aren't still many stay at home mothers, (as I myself am one)... but we are becoming extinct.

    Men used to take very different roles with their children.. As the provider, they were not often home to take part in the "child rearing" such as diapering, feeding, bathing etc...

    Now... Dads everywhere are elbows deep in diaper genies and bum wipes...

    It is taking a long time for the laws to catch up with the realities of todays families... but we are getting there.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
      You have had sole custody of your first girl since 3yo, so that's a big advantage. An even bigger advantage if you have been the 90% caregiver when she was little (as opposed to a 50-50 arrangement).

      You said "I know for a 2~3 year old, probably it's logical for the kid to be with mom" STRIKE THAT THOUGHT FROM YOUR BRAIN!
      I have been the 110% caregiver of my first girl since she was 3, because her mom had chosen to pursue her 'dreams and aspirations' south of the border. Actually, at the time I was not even sure about myself if I could take on this task of being a single-dad, but looking back, wow, how rewarding it has been to be able to see your kid grow, to see her laugh/cry, day by day...

      So I'm using 3 borrowed words and say to our fellow brothers - Yes We Can!!

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      • #18
        Originally posted by walshch View Post
        Acura.. Run to the nearest store and get a digital recorder as dinkyface suggests. Trust me when I say it WILL save your bacon when faced with Criminal charges. Also document EVERYTHING.
        Ok, I WILL run to the store for a DVR today, not even tomorrow!

        Just wonder how long I should keep the recording files rolling, like a two-month period or as long as it goes (could last 4~6 months)?

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Acura View Post
          Just wonder how long I should keep the recording files rolling, like a two-month period or as long as it goes (could last 4~6 months)?
          As long as you are cohabitating. Download every night to a secure computer. Have it on 100% of the time while in the house. If there are holes in the recordings, it becomes less effective as she could argue that any alleged act of aggression happened during one of those holes.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
            As long as you are cohabitating. Download every night to a secure computer. Have it on 100% of the time while in the house. If there are holes in the recordings, it becomes less effective as she could argue that any alleged act of aggression happened during one of those holes.
            Great, got it! Thanks!

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            • #21
              Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
              I've been around these boards for many many years now and read literally HUNDREDS of these stories. Seriously, get the freaking recorder. We aren't suggesting it because we have stock in Panasonic.

              Yeah, we all hope for the best. But you MUST be prepared for the worst.
              Hammerdad, I will make sure I look for a Panasonic, not SONY, not JVC etc.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by NBDad View Post
                98% of the time you will settle this without a trial.

                In 2% of cases you will go before a judge, have a trial and have a judge rule on it all.

                The documentation is in case you wind up in that 2%...she can dispute it all you want. Document EVERYTHING. Doc's appts, dentist appts, Parent teacher stuff, ALL OF IT.

                I realize the child is too young for parent teachers, but you get the idea.

                If the kid had a checkup, or went to the dentist, you should have either receipts from that day, the appt. card, etc. that will also be used as proof you went.
                Back to my original questions. Now it seems that I do have a good chance to get 50/50 custody for the little one. The most pressing issue is how she moves out and under what conditions. I don't want her to be forced out, and she won't herself unless she takes the child. This has been going on for quite some time and I don't think anyone can bear it any longer. So practically now what? What should I do or what should she do for next steps.

                She wants to change to a day care that will be closer to where she works (and potentially to where her new home would be). But it will be a long way from my place, and if the girl goes to pre-school in that area, it will cause great trouble to me. How can we settle this dispute?

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
                  If there is any conflict/non-cooperation, you have a big danger of being painted as the problem (those overbearing, conrtrolling, dominating men!), and this is how she can justify sole custody to her.
                  Hey you forgot angry and bullying!!!

                  Comment

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