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  • Non court ordered child support

    Without going into alot of detail, my husband has agreed to pay child support to his ex for the child who is now a teenager. His ex refused child support before and also contact with my husband and his child for 8 years. She states child didn't want to see him or his family, it was heartbreaking for my husband but he decided to move on with his life and that was it. There has never been a court order. She actually didn't state she wanted child support but for him to help pay for her university but she wants him to pay monthly child support amount by the guideline.

    He works hourly and so is not paid salary. His hours varies each week and he hasn't even gone through his probation period yet. She is not happy with the amount we gave her and is demanding three months of his paystubs of which I do not agree with. What does anyone think?

    Should we just send her cheques and let her bring us to court if she likes? how does a court determine child support amount? proof of income by paystubs?

    Thanks.

  • #2
    Originally posted by noelle78 View Post
    Should we just send her cheques and let her bring us to court if she likes? how does a court determine child support amount? proof of income by paystubs?

    Thanks.
    C/S is determined by line 150 of your previous years tax return.

    In my case I email my ex each year what my raise was and increase C/S in accordance with the raise amount, so it is always up to date. Should she go off my return, she would always be a year behind in increases.

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    • #3
      thanks hammerdad

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      • #4
        Child support is the right of the child. He should have been paying her all along, but I can understand why he wasn't. HOWEVER, now that she is asking for it, he cannot legally refuse. If she pushes it, he will be obligated to pay.

        Were I him, (assuming he wants to renew the relationship with his son) I would ask that a plan be put into place to try to rebuild something.

        Calculating support is simple. Take his prior year's income tax assessment, take the line 150 amount off of it, and find the province/income amount on the following site:

        Federal Child Support Amounts: Simplified Tables

        Find how much he made, use the column for 1 child and that's it.

        Using the prior year's tax return is the de facto standard. If he offers it, then he's being reasonable.

        Even if she doesn't like the amount, have him start sending it to her. Email money Xfer tends to work best. Make sure he puts in the MEMO field: Child support for MM/DD/YYYY so she doesn't try any stupid games.

        If she wants more money, let her try and take him to court. If she does, you ask for costs because she's being unreasonable.

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        • #5
          Child support is the right of the child. He should have been paying her all along, but I can understand why he wasn't. HOWEVER, now that she is asking for it, he cannot legally refuse. If she pushes it, he will be obligated to pay.
          Thanks for your response but let me clarify. How could we have paid her when she wouldnt provide us with her whereabouts? when we found her via online and asked for her address to pay child support she would NOT provide us with her address along with access to child. She kept saying that the child doesnt want anything to do with us or his extended family. Also we HAVE NOT EVER refused paying her child support. We agreed when she contacted him in December but my question was do we have to provide her with paystubs? his last income tax was purely unemployment period. It was a mighty low income 2009. So naturally we were not going to go by that.

          Also now he works hourly and it varies each week, we figured out a resonable average and she doesnt like the amount which is why she is demanding the paystubs.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by noelle78 View Post
            Thanks for your response but let me clarify. How could we have paid her when she wouldnt provide us with her whereabouts? when we found her via online and asked for her address to pay child support she would NOT provide us with her address along with access to child.
            A court could say that you should've deposited the monies into a savings account in the event that they reappear down the road. I emphasize "could". It will depend on the arguments you put forward as to why you didn't and whether or not she asks.

            She kept saying that the child doesnt want anything to do with us or his extended family. Also we HAVE NOT EVER refused paying her child support. We agreed when she contacted him in December but my question was do we have to provide her with paystubs? his last income tax was purely unemployment period. It was a mighty low income 2009. So naturally we were not going to go by that.

            Also now he works hourly and it varies each week, we figured out a resonable average and she doesnt like the amount which is why she is demanding the paystubs.
            If this has been going on for 9 years, the boy is 15, then that means it started when he was 6. Up until the age of 12, a court won't bother taking into consideration the wishes of the child. At 12 a court will listen to the child, but then take into consideration the childs reasoning, maturity and other factors when rendering a decision. So for 6 years Dad could've been going after mom, using whatever means necessary to track her down and force the relationship.

            Again, dad dropped the ball. As for c/s, I would just give her the stubs. She would get them in disclosure should you go to court anyway. May as well appear to willing to work with her while working towards getting her into mediation or court for access. And also, if you are paying her support, at least you should have some contact details when you serve her for a motion for parenting time.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by noelle78 View Post
              She actually didn't state she wanted child support but for him to help pay for her university but she wants him to pay monthly child support amount by the guideline.
              I'm confused. So, she's saying she DOES want child support. It sounds like she changed her mind (i.e. previously she did not want child support)?

              We're now in 2011, so you should know your 2010 line 150, and you can ignore 2009. It sounds like you are offering to pay support, even though the income wasn't there, but it's hard to tell if you are making a reasonable offer without knowing the numbers.

              I'd suggest that you describe the usual process to her, and just start following it i.e.
              - If your 2010 income was 'reasonable', then just start paying now based on that. Otherwise, you might want to offer more.. just for this year.
              - In Jan 2012, start paying based on 2011 line 150.

              Tell her she will get a copy of your 2010 notice of assessment when you get it in in May this year. Until then, she'll just have to trust. Don't provide the pay stubs - too much info. And possibly the last 3 months is not indicative of the entire year anyway and may just cause more argument.

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              • #8
                o.k...No I totally agree with everyone and have pushed my husband for fighting for his rights, but well basically because my husband has certian issues (depression caused by the initial ordeal and anxiety disorder) he did nothing until child was 9 & 12 by merely asking ex for a right to see her. We should of gone to court. Thankfully my husband has almost fully recovered mental wise although now his anxiety has returend. Sometimes I feel helpless and sick over all this.

                So create a contract and go to court for access. If her represents himself, how much would it cost?. (sorry I know nothing)

                also THANK YOU for your words of wisdom and advice it is very appreciated.

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                • #9
                  she said "I want you to help pay for childs university by paying the monthly table amount of child support" it was to be deposited into a bank account but she hasn't provided the info to us yet and keeps drawing out the ordeal by not agreeing with our offered amount.We are going by the table at 29,000 a year. We also offered to send a cheque she said no. We asked for receipts and she said no, you don't need it for tax purposes so you don't need it.

                  well 2010 is gonna be hard cause he was self employed and we haven't filed yet..its gonna be a mess. We were going to pay her what he makes right now. 16 an hour based on 40 hour week.

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                  • #10
                    Be very careful.....

                    Even though CS is usually based on line 150 of the previous years income tax return... a Judge can (and probably will) base the amount on his current income level, (based on the fact that his income has changed and is now more stable).

                    If he is making $16/hr and based on a 40 hour work week, his approx. gross income for 2011 will be $33,280.00.
                    As such, the Ontario guideline amount for one child, based on the above would be $306 per month.

                    THAT is what he should be paying... and if he choses not to, she could potentially make a claim for a retroactive payment.

                    As unfair as you think it may be... access and child support are two separate issues and are dealt with separately in court.... so even though he hasn't had a relationship with the child, he was and is legally obligated to pay child support.

                    Ohh and College/University is considered a Section 7 expense, and if the mother pushes the issue, she can make your husband pay not only guideline child support, but also a percentage of the boys post secondary education costs.

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                    • #11
                      O.k, yes he makes 16 an hour and is supposed to work 40 hours but the last couple of months has only worked 4 days a week. He just started this job in September. The child is only 15 and has not started university yet, obviously she just wanted a savings account started for it by using child support payments money.Which I think is actually great and have considered doing the same thing for my daughter lol

                      Ok so we can base it off that then, I don't care I just want to do the right thing.

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                      • #12
                        You don't need receipts if you do it right. Pay by either email money Xfer or by cheque. (and make sure you get the checks cashed back from your bank).

                        Depositing it directly to the account is foolish without an order or legal written agreement.

                        Even doing that, you should be sending her a followup email at EVERY deposit...(ie. Deposited monthly child support of XXX.XX on DD/MM/YYYY, please confirm receipt of same).

                        That way you at least cover your ass if she tries to play games with you. Is there any chance of her being vindictive and harassing him at work?

                        Hell, for all you know, she's got a court order in the wings and is waiting to serve you with a garnishment gift once she knows the place of employment.

                        Give her copies of the stubs, but take a black permanent marker to anything that identifies the company he works for.

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                        • #13
                          By intermixing/confusing university and table amounts, she is laying the groundwork (intentionally or not? how crafty is she?) for being able to come back at you later for table amount arrears, by claiming that what you were paying is actually pre-payments towards university section 7 expenses, and not table amounts.

                          Or, she is genuinely planning to save it for university.

                          So
                          1) ideally, get it in writing that you are agreeing to pay table amounts as per the guidelines, and not university prepayments
                          2) for each payment, record that this is the table amounts owing for that month.

                          How much can it cost to get access via the courts? Start at $10K, $50K is not at all unusual, and at least 1 year (courts are slow, and delay tactics are very common). She sounds quite uninformed, and likely to shoot herself in the foot in court (making your case stronger), but if she retains a lawyer she'll quickly wise up (if intelligent). Dad will need to be very strong for this fight...
                          Last edited by dinkyface; 01-25-2011, 08:22 PM.

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                          • #14
                            On top of what NBDad said, any cheques or email transfers to her should be clearly labelled 'For Child Support' so there is no mistaking what the money was for.

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                            • #15
                              Thank you all so much for your advice!!

                              Comment

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