End of Support Advice

[BoltonGuy]

I am approaching my child's 18th birthday, the mother specifically told me not to ask to have payments adjusted for 16 years (she is VERY well off). Her case worker somewhere sent me income statement requests 2 times - which I ignored.

I understand I have to somehow have her agree to end the support, but i'm afraid they are going to try to come after me for arrears in some way.

Any advice here? I figure if they came after me -- it would END me financially. I'd lose my home, and my actual family would be homeless.

I've probably handled this poorly, but i'm trying to figure out how to end this where nobody gets hurt, but i'm afraid of what might happen if she somehow thinks that this could be some kind of financial windfall.

[arabian]

If your wife is very well off then what's with the "support worker"?

Usually you can negotiate arrears payment over time with a maintenance enforcement agency.

My ex owes me a very large sum of money and the maintenance enforcement agency has him repaying the arrears at a very low amount each month.

[Berner_Faith]

Did you owe her support in which you have not paid?

[BoltonGuy]

She isn't my wife, we were never married. She's well off now, but wasn't long time ago.

She's never requested an adjustment, never requested financial statements from me (exception of a case worker asked a few times by snail mail only), no communication in 16 years.

Do I owe her support that is not paid? Based on the existing order in place -- NO

[Berner_Faith]

If your income changed in those 16 years and you did not up your CS then YES you can be held responsible for arrears, especially since you said income statements were requested. Why would you not adjust your CS?

[arabian]

Have you paid ANY child support over the years on a regular basis?

An order for support stands and doesn't go away.

If you want to dispute the amount then you would have to go to court to do so.

Look up on your provincial maintenance enforcement website: FRO Ontario or MEP Alberta etc. for more information. You can do a voluntary payment plan.

[BoltonGuy]

She said years ago she didn't care if my income changed, and I continued to pay the original ordered amount -- for 18 years.

I got random requests only twice from some case worker, not from her for income statements. It wasn't a demand, or order for them - it was just the person there requesting them - didn't say the FRO or my EX was asking for them. I ignore them - that was probably incorrect.

[arabian]

Well you should really think about this. If you were to die tomorrow your arrears would be paid out by your estate leaving your current family in a very precarious situation. So you would be best to get this under control and pay NOW. Interest keeps piling up on the amount you owe.

You know what they say: "nothing in life is a sure thing except death and taxes" [or something to that effect].

[arabian]

Was your support ordered through court and/or registered at FRO? If you have received income tax refunds I would hazard a guess that it wasn't registered. If it wasn't registered and your ex is only now going after it now then questions would definitely be asked as to why she didn't request it before now. I have read case law that when this happens the judge usually goes back 3 years (or much less) so as the child support isn't seen as a 'windfall.' I'm no lawyer though and if the amount you feel you might owe is large it would be worth your while to consider legal advice.

[Rioe]

I am approaching my child's 18th birthday, the mother specifically told me not to ask to have payments adjusted for 16 years (she is VERY well off). Her case worker somewhere sent me income statement requests 2 times - which I ignored.

I understand I have to somehow have her agree to end the support, but i'm afraid they are going to try to come after me for arrears in some way.

Any advice here? I figure if they came after me -- it would END me financially. I'd lose my home, and my actual family would be homeless.

I've probably handled this poorly, but i'm trying to figure out how to end this where nobody gets hurt, but i'm afraid of what might happen if she somehow thinks that this could be some kind of financial windfall.

She isn't my wife, we were never married. She's well off now, but wasn't long time ago.

She's never requested an adjustment, never requested financial statements from me (exception of a case worker asked a few times by snail mail only), no communication in 16 years.

Do I owe her support that is not paid? Based on the existing order in place -- NO

I'm surprised nobody else has jumped in here to suggest that you need to reframe your approach to this child. Just because you were never married to the mother and she didn't ask for support adjustments and you haven't had any contact with the child still does not mean that this child is not your responsibility. You were responsible to support the child based on your income, and adjust that number annually with your income changes. The mother couldn't absolve you of that responsibility years ago - it was the child's right. So yes, you could be on the hook for quite a bit of arrears. And responsibility doesn't automatically end at age 18. If the kid goes to university, you could be required to pay CS and tuition and living expenses for four more years.

This child deserves your financial support just as much as your 'actual' family does. Also deserves your emotional support, but I guess you messed that one up many years ago. If you haven't had any contact, how do you know that the child hasn't been homeless and hungry?

Anyways, to spare you the need to defend yourself, here is my best answer for you.

Write a letter to the mother, inquiring about the child, and their plans for future schooling, so that you may know if child support continues or not. Inquire if she would like you to update your CS amount to correspond with your current income, or if she still feels that her own greater income is sufficient.

Don't mention arrears, but be prepared to pay them. If it happens, it would not be required as a lump sum, but a regular amount on top of normal CS to pay the arrears down gradually. If you haven't had contact with the mother in many years, you have no idea if she is still doing as well as she was then or if she struggles now and could use the extra money for the child, especially if there are university expenses coming.

Lastly, you would do well to take an interest in the child, and pursue a relationship on an adult basis. This kid may have spent his/her whole life wondering what his/her father is like, and why he's not around.

[HammerDad]

FYI - if the child is still in full time school, child support will continue past their 18th birthday. You will also be responsible for a portion of their college/university expenses.

As for arrears, there was a group of cases that went to the Supreme Court of Canada about C/S. The courts found it is the obligation of the payer to notify the payee of any changes to their income, and to adjust c/s accordingly. So, if you knew your income had increased, you were supposed to let her know of the change and adjust accordingly. The ex would have some fault for not inquiring for so many years, but you would be more at fault.

Should they come after you for arrears, it is unlikely that they would order 16 years worth. You are likely looking at 3-5 years worth of arrears.

You justify that you haven't increased your c/s because the ex is now well off, but that does not negate your obligation to support your kid. Your ex's income/net worth is irrelevant.

You should've been adjusting every year like other payers do. Because you didn't, you now are stressing about what may come of it. I'd contact the ex to see if you can update it now, and hopefully they won't see the need to file a motion to have c/s updated, and seek arrears.

The issue of the social worker is unclear. It could be a number of things, like the kid trying to get OSAP to pay for school or who knows what for your child. Depending on what the letter was in regards to, ignoring it may have been worse for you as now the ex may need to lawyer up to get this information from you, and their lawyer will likely advise her of all the arrears should may be entitled to as well....and then you are in for the battle.