Hello All,
I was wondering how I go about filing an emergency motion for custody/access to my daughter? And if in your opinion that an emergency motion would be granted due to her technically offering me access? My motion would be to take full custody as she is not well to take care of her and I can fully support and take care of her even though I am lviing at my parents residence (which she has also been doing for the last 7 months even though she has a house of her own)
I haven't seen her in nearly 2 months due to my ex withholding her from me. She has sent back a few offers for access that I am having trouble accepting as they are making me jump through extreme hoops making the access NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE.
I am pasting what her lawyer sent back to my lawyer. I have deleted the names to protect privacy but the rest of the letter is pretty much in tact.
My comments are after the letter.
I hope that you can read and understand things and let me know.
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Further to your letter of June 17,h, 2010 and our telephone attendance, I will partialfy respond to your letter so that hopefully some access can get under way.
1) My client is agreeable to joint custody however she will want primary residence and she will want the authority to make final decisions in the event the parties cannot agree on matters relating to health and education. You have witnessed the level of animosity between our clients and it is simply a recipe for continuous conflict to leave the parties in a position where they must agree on such matters;
2) Your client can have {Child} in his care Tuesdays and Thursdays but {Child} schedule is such that {Mother} would like her returned by seven so that her normal routine is not disrupted;
3) Your client may have {child} alternate Sunday's from three until seven p.m. Every Sunday places {Mother} in a position where she cannot ever have a weekend to herself with {Child}. Because {Mother} is often at her parent's trailer on the weekend she would prefer access start at three so that she is not rushed to get back in time;
4) Access cannot be at the paternal home until testing has been completed to demonstrate that there is no second hand smoke, I know McMaster University will conduct this testing at a reasonable price as other clients have done this. My client is also opposed to access at the {Friend} residence. Obviously the best thing would be for your client to obtain his own accommodation so that these would not be issues;
5) You are aware of our position with regard to support but obviously it is better that {ME} start paying something. My client does not want these payments by way of an email transfer;
6) An OCL can be retained to conduct an investigation to accelerate the process if your client wishes, but it will have to be undertaken at his expense in the first instance and your client can argue about ultimate responsibility once we have received some indication of opinion from whomever is retained.>>
Your client will need to demonstrate that he has a suitable car seat for {Child} and he will of course be responsible for providing food, diapers and changes of clothing for {Child} while she is in his care.
You may imagine that my client is still very upset over the comments made by {ME} during our attempted meeting.
My client is not at all happy about {ME} comments or actions but she is trying to put all of that aside and allow him to have a relationship with {Child}. Perhaps you could speak to {ME} about a more diplomatic approach to these matters.
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This is a response back from my lawyers letter requesting for 3 hours tues/thurs and every sunday until we get to court and can get it changed.
My comments on the paragraph points
1. I can't give her final decision making power as I don't trust that she will make the best decision of our daughter (She has already proven that by witholding her from me after repeated attempts to break the logjam)
2. This is not unreasonable as far as Addison's routine and I would like to avoid disrupting that as much as possible
3. This is in my ex's best interest not my daughters I don't see how I can have a relationship with my daugher for between 5 and 8 hours per week depending on the week but it "interferes" with her schedule which is ONLY serving her best interest
4. I have spoken to a number of people regarding this clause and most think it is rediculous especially considering she knows what I am like with regards to smoking. I actually had arguments with my mom about this well before my daughter was born and told her she would not be in this house if there was smoking. My daughter is nearly nine months old and there has not been smoking since before she was born but my ex is refusing to allow me access without meeting this clause which is extremely time consuming and difficult to address not to mention financially not feasible. Also access at my friends residence is only to be vindictive as my ex knows that I am good friends with them and would take my daughter there on a regular basis.
5. I am paying child support based on my income for the last 3 years per table and it is actually slightly higher than table (only about $7) although it can be argued as I am self-employed. I am not hiding money but she seems to think I am and feels my income is substantially higher than what I am decalring. It is actually about $3K higher than when before we were dating and/or my daughter was born so there is no funny business going on and I know it would stand up to a government audit. Also, the reason I want to pay by email transfer is that she constantly bitches and complains about money yet anytime I have given her a cheque she sits on it for weeks at a time and I don't want to take the chance of the cheque bouncing as I am still pretty tight for $$$ going through my accounts, with an email money transfer the $$ are out of my account immediately and it's up to her when she accepts them. My other alternatives are time consuming and expensive as I would either have to do bank draft and/or money order.
6. I have talked to my lawyer about this and unfortunately I am not able to request this myself although my lawyer said he would look into it I don't believe he has.
The last paragraph's are only meant to split hairs and make me look like a deadbeat but basically I was the one to purchase the infant seat, my parents bought the 3 stage seat as well so I should be able to use it but if I have to purchase another one to see my daughter then so be it. I'm not about to quibble over $200 if it means I can see my daughter. I'm not exactly rolling in cash to afford everything but I will go without something if it means I can see her. Same with the comments about feeding, diapers, etc. I have enough food, diapers and other necessities for my daughter to take care of her for a month fulltime without having to purchase anything at the moment as I have been stocking up on them (as time/$$$/sales permit) but it is my understanding that the CP (Mom unfortunately) should be providing this to the NCP during access am I correct?
As for diplomacy he has the audacity to tell me to speak on a more diplomatic approach but his client couldn't be further out in left field when it comes to diplomacy
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I hope you have read and understand this and greatly appreciate anyone taking the time to offer support and/or comments both constructive and critical are appreciated as I want to know if I'm out of line as well. I don't want this to be a power stuggle and me not seeing my daughter only because it's not on my terms but there are 2 terms that I don't feel I can adequately meet as I feel they are EXTREMELY unreasonable and/or not feasible.
Regards,
Stemmy
I was wondering how I go about filing an emergency motion for custody/access to my daughter? And if in your opinion that an emergency motion would be granted due to her technically offering me access? My motion would be to take full custody as she is not well to take care of her and I can fully support and take care of her even though I am lviing at my parents residence (which she has also been doing for the last 7 months even though she has a house of her own)
I haven't seen her in nearly 2 months due to my ex withholding her from me. She has sent back a few offers for access that I am having trouble accepting as they are making me jump through extreme hoops making the access NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE.
I am pasting what her lawyer sent back to my lawyer. I have deleted the names to protect privacy but the rest of the letter is pretty much in tact.
My comments are after the letter.
I hope that you can read and understand things and let me know.
-----------
Further to your letter of June 17,h, 2010 and our telephone attendance, I will partialfy respond to your letter so that hopefully some access can get under way.
1) My client is agreeable to joint custody however she will want primary residence and she will want the authority to make final decisions in the event the parties cannot agree on matters relating to health and education. You have witnessed the level of animosity between our clients and it is simply a recipe for continuous conflict to leave the parties in a position where they must agree on such matters;
2) Your client can have {Child} in his care Tuesdays and Thursdays but {Child} schedule is such that {Mother} would like her returned by seven so that her normal routine is not disrupted;
3) Your client may have {child} alternate Sunday's from three until seven p.m. Every Sunday places {Mother} in a position where she cannot ever have a weekend to herself with {Child}. Because {Mother} is often at her parent's trailer on the weekend she would prefer access start at three so that she is not rushed to get back in time;
4) Access cannot be at the paternal home until testing has been completed to demonstrate that there is no second hand smoke, I know McMaster University will conduct this testing at a reasonable price as other clients have done this. My client is also opposed to access at the {Friend} residence. Obviously the best thing would be for your client to obtain his own accommodation so that these would not be issues;
5) You are aware of our position with regard to support but obviously it is better that {ME} start paying something. My client does not want these payments by way of an email transfer;
6) An OCL can be retained to conduct an investigation to accelerate the process if your client wishes, but it will have to be undertaken at his expense in the first instance and your client can argue about ultimate responsibility once we have received some indication of opinion from whomever is retained.>>
Your client will need to demonstrate that he has a suitable car seat for {Child} and he will of course be responsible for providing food, diapers and changes of clothing for {Child} while she is in his care.
You may imagine that my client is still very upset over the comments made by {ME} during our attempted meeting.
My client is not at all happy about {ME} comments or actions but she is trying to put all of that aside and allow him to have a relationship with {Child}. Perhaps you could speak to {ME} about a more diplomatic approach to these matters.
---------------------------
This is a response back from my lawyers letter requesting for 3 hours tues/thurs and every sunday until we get to court and can get it changed.
My comments on the paragraph points
1. I can't give her final decision making power as I don't trust that she will make the best decision of our daughter (She has already proven that by witholding her from me after repeated attempts to break the logjam)
2. This is not unreasonable as far as Addison's routine and I would like to avoid disrupting that as much as possible
3. This is in my ex's best interest not my daughters I don't see how I can have a relationship with my daugher for between 5 and 8 hours per week depending on the week but it "interferes" with her schedule which is ONLY serving her best interest
4. I have spoken to a number of people regarding this clause and most think it is rediculous especially considering she knows what I am like with regards to smoking. I actually had arguments with my mom about this well before my daughter was born and told her she would not be in this house if there was smoking. My daughter is nearly nine months old and there has not been smoking since before she was born but my ex is refusing to allow me access without meeting this clause which is extremely time consuming and difficult to address not to mention financially not feasible. Also access at my friends residence is only to be vindictive as my ex knows that I am good friends with them and would take my daughter there on a regular basis.
5. I am paying child support based on my income for the last 3 years per table and it is actually slightly higher than table (only about $7) although it can be argued as I am self-employed. I am not hiding money but she seems to think I am and feels my income is substantially higher than what I am decalring. It is actually about $3K higher than when before we were dating and/or my daughter was born so there is no funny business going on and I know it would stand up to a government audit. Also, the reason I want to pay by email transfer is that she constantly bitches and complains about money yet anytime I have given her a cheque she sits on it for weeks at a time and I don't want to take the chance of the cheque bouncing as I am still pretty tight for $$$ going through my accounts, with an email money transfer the $$ are out of my account immediately and it's up to her when she accepts them. My other alternatives are time consuming and expensive as I would either have to do bank draft and/or money order.
6. I have talked to my lawyer about this and unfortunately I am not able to request this myself although my lawyer said he would look into it I don't believe he has.
The last paragraph's are only meant to split hairs and make me look like a deadbeat but basically I was the one to purchase the infant seat, my parents bought the 3 stage seat as well so I should be able to use it but if I have to purchase another one to see my daughter then so be it. I'm not about to quibble over $200 if it means I can see my daughter. I'm not exactly rolling in cash to afford everything but I will go without something if it means I can see her. Same with the comments about feeding, diapers, etc. I have enough food, diapers and other necessities for my daughter to take care of her for a month fulltime without having to purchase anything at the moment as I have been stocking up on them (as time/$$$/sales permit) but it is my understanding that the CP (Mom unfortunately) should be providing this to the NCP during access am I correct?
As for diplomacy he has the audacity to tell me to speak on a more diplomatic approach but his client couldn't be further out in left field when it comes to diplomacy
--------------
I hope you have read and understand this and greatly appreciate anyone taking the time to offer support and/or comments both constructive and critical are appreciated as I want to know if I'm out of line as well. I don't want this to be a power stuggle and me not seeing my daughter only because it's not on my terms but there are 2 terms that I don't feel I can adequately meet as I feel they are EXTREMELY unreasonable and/or not feasible.
Regards,
Stemmy
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