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  • Living Arrangements/CAS and Access

    I am looking for comments on the following situation. My ex spouse and his girlfriend will be moving shortly into a basement apartment. The apartment does not have kitchen or washroom facilities. The facilities residing on the upstairs floors of this home will have to be utilized. My child currently has access to her father on alternating weekends as well as half the summer and half the Christmas holidays. This child is also allergic to numerous animals...including the ones that her father keeps...as well as those that currently reside in this new home. I deem this situation to be extremely unpleasant for my daughter and am interested in knowing if anyone has had experience with changing access on these types of grounds or with Children's Aid involvement (I have heard mixed reviews on their services).

    Jeff, I would also be interested in the legalities of moving forward on any pertinent motions.

    Thanks.

  • #2
    What is your ex's explanation for keeping animals when his child is allergic?

    CAS was involved in my custody/access dispute and I found their services very helpfull during a tramatic time in our lives. They help me retain a lawyer and get counselling for myself and children. Their reports carried a lot of weight with the judge. Although my file has since been closed by CAS my social worker still calls to see how we are doing.

    Good luck with your situation.

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi Grace...I do not have an explanation from my ex husband regarding the keeping of pets that our child is allergic to. I am left to assume that either he doesn't really care or that his girlfriend is the driving force in terms of the animals being resident. He refuses to engage in any conversation regarding that topic.

      I have my act together regarding counselling and legal services however I continue to come up against a brick wall when it comes to custody and access. Although a reasonable person could say that it makes sense for sole custody and limited access, the courts seem reluctant to do that. I had asked my lawyer previously about the involvement of Children's Aid and he seemed firm around not getting them involved. That said, my Doctor and one of the other counsellors are saying it may be a route to pursue. In addition to the environmental issues, my daughter exhibits tic like behaviour especially just before and after she sees her Dad. Having ruled out any neurological issues, we are left with the conclusion that they are stress responses to the situation. I keep hoping that when she is a bit older (she is ten now) she will eventually not want to see her Dad as much. If it was a positive experience, I would have no problem with the access...however, it is far from them.

      Jeff, in your experience what has CAS involvement looked like?

      Thanks.

      Comment


      • #4
        Anne,

        In my case CAS was involved first, lawyers second. CAS was very cooperative with my lawyers. What is the reason your lawyer doesnt want them involved?

        If CAS does gets involved, they will ask you to sign waivers so they can speak with your Doctor and counsellors. So they would have input directly with CAS. Sounds like this could help you. Has an evaluation every been ordered by the court?

        Is your daughter still attending councelling? Can they give you any insight into what is causing the stress that has resulted in a tic? This sounds like a big red flag that needs to be addressed, the sooner the better!

        Comment


        • #5
          My lawyer hesitated on the use of the CAS citing that our case did not warrant that attention. I believe he was concerned that the unpredictability of the CAS could work against us in terms of downplaying the situation.

          My c/l spouse and I provide a strong, safe, secure and organized home for my daughter and my ex spouse can't seem to come close in providing the same. All of that said, my lawyer was concerned that calling in CAS would look like I was trying to "use" them to tarnish the reputation of my ex spouse. Apparently judges do not necessarily agree to the use of their services and jump to the conclusion that you are just out to get the other person.

          The entire system that prides itself on the best interests philosophy seems to fall short when it comes to actually following through....

          Comment


          • #6
            Best to listen to your lawyer, but to me a 10 year old child that has developed a tic, seems to warrant some kind of attention.

            I can agree with you about the "system". My lawyers tell me the judges don't even read your file they usually just read a factum, before making a decision.

            Comment


            • #7
              A friend of mine had an involvement with the CAS. The CAS invetigated and found no concerns and closed the file. When it went to court, the judge wanted to know exactly who called CAS. As it turned out neither party did. The judge said something to the effect it is best not to involve outside services such as the CAS if it is not warranted.

              In response to Grace's comment; If they only read a factum, which would be basically the Application, Answer and Reply; Great care should be exercised when preparing these documents as they are significant and could make or break your case.

              Comment

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