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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 10-21-2010, 01:33 PM
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rustedinnocence rustedinnocence is offline
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Default Desperately seeking advise with this situation!

Is there a proper way one should write up an agreement on how things should be handled/dealt with, when living in the same home?
My ex has come back after 5 months!!!!!….he’s sleeping in the house every night… in the bed I was sleeping in and now am forced out of unless I want him beside me (NOT)… so now I’m avoiding going home as much as possible (yes, I know, giving in to him with what he wants - but seriously, he’s not sane, he is indeed a sociopath, so it’s best for my mental and emotional well being to try and avoid him).
Anyway, he has invited casual sex partners (one of which is recently out of jail, another is trying to get a dominatrix prostitution business underway) to my home, on evenings and mornings he thinks I will not be there (and most evening I am not there…mornings he phones my work to see if I am at work which is an hour away, and hangs up on me so he’ll know if I will be at the house or not).
This is killing me … I know I am not suppose to get emotional and the best thing to do is let it go but I can’t. These women are in my home, MY place to feel safe, where my personal things are, and they are not the calibre of person I trust to even have a bottle of perfume on the counter for fear of it going missing.
I’d like to write and leave a letter expressing that since he has moved back in, certain terms and conditions have to be shared by the both of us. Such as a common courtesy in late night noise, trying to avoid waking the other person. A common respect for it being the others home as well and the avoidance of bringing ‘dates’ into the house, etc…
Can anyone PLEASE give me some advice on how this should be written, how it should be worded, if it can be used legally if he doesn’t agree to it, and ANY other thoughts or information you can think of….
I really need help with this issue as it is pushing over the edge he already has me balancing on.
Thanks so much for any time give to share thoughts and ideas in regards to my wacked out situation.
  #2  
Old 10-21-2010, 02:19 PM
ConcernenedStepMom78 ConcernenedStepMom78 is offline
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RI are there children in the home?
  #3  
Old 10-21-2010, 02:21 PM
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Were you married? Common Law?

Do you own? Rent? Whose name is the mortgage in? How long was the relationship? Are there children involved?

What you need to do is seek an order for exclusive possession of the matrimonial home (assuming you own here) due to his leaving for 5 months.

You should have done this far earlier than now.

For NOW, until you can get things sorted away, you need to go buy a padlock, and get yourself a separate bedroom. Move all your things there.
  #4  
Old 10-21-2010, 02:29 PM
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Make sure to remove important documents like banking statements, passport etc and put it somewhere safe or at a friends house at least.
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Old 10-21-2010, 03:01 PM
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You said your ex has moved himself back into your house, after having moved out 5 months ago, is not sane, is a sociopath, unreasonable and does what he wants.

Why do you think he would agree to anything you propose?
  #6  
Old 10-21-2010, 04:09 PM
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ConcernedSM78…Yes, “I” have a child but because of this absolute madness, I have arranged for him to stay with a friend of mine close to the University he is attending his first year at. Once I have some funds to move, he will rejoin me in a CALM HOME until he is done school. Lord knows he doesn’t need to be in that house right now!
NB Dad…Our house is owned jointly, both names on deed, both contributed – common law 7 yrs.
I was going to try to gain sole possession of the home but I couldn’t get anything done with my lawyer’s office since July (this week I threw a fit and now something is finally moving with them). Tomorrow he will be served an offer to buy me out for 50% of the equity less the difference I will give back to him for his larger down payment (I know I don’t need to do this but I want to make it easy to get done and over with). He is to give us an answer within 7days so I can get out of there if he is buying me out. Can I actually lock him out of a room?...hmmmmm good idea if I am allowed to do that!
TugOfWar….I have removed important things from the home already such as passports and legal docs. Now I’m thinking of removing even more of the things that are mine to ensure they are not stolen or damaged.
Frustratedwithex….You are absolutely right. His personality is that he won’t agree to anything I propose. But I wondered if I put something in writing and gave him a copy, if maybe it would help my case and show that I AM TRYING TO BE CIVIL and he just thinks and does whatever he wants instead. Would a document like that, or several, not do some benefit even though I know its wasting ink when it comes to him agreeing to anything?
Thanks to everyone who is trying to help...it is very much appreciated!!!
  #7  
Old 10-21-2010, 04:26 PM
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Quote:
Can I actually lock him out of a room?...hmmmmm good idea if I am allowed to do that
House...no...not without an exclusive possession order.
A room that you are claiming as your bedroom...yes, certainly you can.

I would not leave ANYTHING of value in there, basically your bed, your sheets, your clothes and any other personal sundries.
  #8  
Old 10-21-2010, 04:38 PM
ConcernenedStepMom78 ConcernenedStepMom78 is offline
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darn if the child was younger may be able to call CAS
  #9  
Old 10-21-2010, 04:44 PM
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gonna go buy me a big stinkin lock! thanks for that idea!!!
  #10  
Old 10-21-2010, 04:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ConcernenedStepMom78 View Post
darn if the child was younger may be able to call CAS
good idea, but I'd rather keep my son out of it completely if i can... he's endured enough already... poor kid Lucky i have a place for him right now that is safe....
and when i think about it further...there IS A CHILD IN THE HOUSE NOW... my ex
(sorry... i know i shouldnt' call names but he's driving me nuts... after a vent bitch session I'm sure I'll go back to trying to be an example of how I'd like to be treated ) somedays it's just hard to keep cool
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