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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 10-10-2010, 04:43 PM
raven70 raven70 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: British Columbia
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Default 1st time poster, wanting to share my story

I am a first time poster wanting to share my story with you, for the past couple years I have enjoyed learning about peoples experiences and the law in Ontario on this site. Any feedback
in regard to the overall fairness of my matter or the upcomimg settlement conference would
be appreciated.Single parents who may need to travel or "fight" to be a parent may appreciate this story,

I was in a common-law relationship in B.C for 7 years and we did have son together. The relationship did need some work and we agreed to get family couciling to make improvments.
When our son was 4 weeks old i did grant her permission to visit her family in northern ontario and signed a letter also stating she would be returning. We agreed on a return date and I purchased a plane ticket home for her and my son. Days before the return flight home I was served papers to
appear in court in ontario for juridiction of our son.

At this first court date I decided not to bring a court order from B.C for the return of our son here.
I did hire a lawyer and after a hearing I lost juridiction of my son to Ontario based on " a balance of probabilites". The justice did state that I did not consent this and it would not be convienient for me as the father. To bring an order from B.C would costs 10,000.00 and my little research told me that it would be nearly impossible to have her return to B.C even on a court order. Access was not discussed on this date and i was at the mercy of my ex-partner, so for 6 months I flew from B.C to northern Ontario for 2 visits, 2 hours each.

At the next court date we had the same justice, my access increased to 3, 8hr visits and a child support order was made with a 230.00 reduction each month to help with access costs. I have traveled to ontario 13 times in 18 months at an average costs 1500.00 a trip to see my son.

At the next court date,again 6 months later we had a different justice with our lawyers present again. Access was increased to weekly blocks with overnights etc....
I did not feel that she should benefit from a spousal support claim since she left a very good job in B.C and the high access costs to see my son. The justice was firm with her for the unilateral actions
and the fact she quit her job, and my access cost, however the guidelenes indicated that i should pay 1800. monthly based she has no income as her E.I had run out. An Temp order was made 900.00.
She appealed this decision and lost.

She initiated two more court dates for more money and to reduce access, and both were thrown out.

I must attend a settlement confernence in December in Ontario on my own as with the access costs and the two supports I am now unable to retain a lawyer and must self-represent. The issues are final orders on custody,child support, spousal support amount as she has started working and spousal duration. B.C access, phone access and scype are the last issues.

This has been an exhausting journey to know my son with incredible expense for access. I feel that the spousal order was not fair under the circumstances, my lawyer and some others have said that i
did not fair too bad with both supports being reduced, but it is cheaper for me to fly to germany than
ontario, that is my point. I did get my first "daddy" last visit

Any feedback on what to expect at this settlement conference and opinions and the overall fairness would be appreciated, thank you
Old 10-11-2010, 11:03 AM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ontario
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Welcome to the forum.

If anything that parent has made a difficult hardship for you sustain a relationship with your young child. Have you considered moving to Northern Ontario where your child resides. I think you would qualify for EI under those circumstances and most likely effect the outcome.
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